knifemonopoly | IC inbox

Ah...you're one of those types that can't eat normal food? I'm sorry to hear that! I could....it just made me sick if I ate too much. Living on just blood felt better.

Speaking of, do you need some? I don't have any set aside right now, but it's not hard to get.

[Poor guy....Giorno's having a really hard time with this.]

Don't worry about my hands. I had an accidental monster change too, last month...but it went so badly I gave Mana coins to end it early. The fog form didn't have hands!

i can't imagine how anything about this could possibly feel better. i wish i was stupid enough to try to make it through the rest of this month without it but unfortunately i know exactly how bad of an idea that is.

[at least he HAS ALL OF HIS HANDS??????? WHAT THE FUCK MANA]

well that's horrifying. forgive me if i remain a little worried. i hope regrowing your hands went well (??)

Changing to different monster types is never easy! But I've got hands again, and that's what matters!

[Ha ha ha ha ha no bad vibes. Giorno knows what it's like now to go from one monster type to another; enough said, right?]

Anyway, I can't say for sure what your blood needs will be like. Some blood-eaters can live on donated stuff, you know, in bags -- but I needed to feed from a living person at least once a month. Other vampires feed from the living more often. Some can do it without killing, but I understand that takes a lot of practice! Be careful experimenting with that. Monsters can lose more blood than humans and be OK, though.

Unfortunately, bagged blood isn't very good. Especially if you don't heat it up or put it in something else, it's very unpleasant! Like a hot drink that's been in a refrigerator for days...

[Yuck. At least Ryou likes to cook with it...he gets pretty creative. Atem's very grateful that a secretly-macabre good cook of a boyfriend fell into his lap; his man's an absolute freak and it's great.]

But it IS a bad idea to avoid it entirely. Have you bitten anybody yet?

[Ryou wastes no time in doing just that, pushing his sheets back and curling up beneath them. He rolls over so that he can still cuddle up with Atem. He knows...that they won't spend the whole sleep together, and that's fine. He's used to it since he could never feel right holding a sleepless nephilim down for his whole resting period.

But...he still reaches a hand out once Atem's settled, so that he can run a hand through his hair and along the underside of one headwing. For now...he wants to be close.]

I've never been so glad to be back here with you...

[The head-wing presses against the fingers, like tilting your head into a touch to your face. Inside Atem there are two wolves: one loves very much that Ryou can come back to him for solace, and the other is a little concerned about Ryou thinking Atem feels insecure about Ryou going to other people for help. That really isn't it, and Atem doesn't want that to direct Ryou's actions at all...but now, with Ryou falling asleep, isn't the time to get into it.]

I love you.

[He kisses the bridge of Ryou's nose.]

Tomorrow, we'll go to the woods. I like the idea...when you get deep enough into the forest, it feels like being in another world...

[But he's not going to go into detail about how Ryslig's deep woods really do feel like remarkable, magical places. That doesn't make much sense, logically, since as Yugi, he'd seen pictures, knew what they looked like...but with some of his old memories, the amount of green, the towering trees everywhere, valuable and damp and just growing there, makes him feel a little excited. But that's not very cool...it's just a feeling. He's not that little boy who thought he was in Punt, and that all monsters were magical spirits.

It's just an especially fun place to go for a walk.]

A shame then, you're quite the sight to behold after all. Especially now~ [he compliments. And he means it- it's a good look, nice and simple, excusing the obvious additions such as the puzzle. But frankly, that's just Atem's thing as far as he understands, so it's nothing to remark on.]

I'm personally relieved you don't have one of those 'ugly sweaters'- they're good for the season, but hardly anything worth wearing for the night.

[He says, with a kitty equivalent under his coat.]

[As a vampire, Atem was arrogant, but not particularly vulnerable to flattery. Compliments from Noa, though, especially right now, hit different. Confidence creeps back into Atem's smile as he receives the manticore stamp-of-approval, and he stands a little straighter as he heads for the door.]

Annie mentioned there would be an "ugly sweater contest"...I have to admit, I don't fully understand the tradition!

[He'll hold the door open for Noa and Newf, and tell Tybolt to stay, so they're not followed by an overenthusiastic lion who, despite being an emotional support, is not service animal trained.]

[She only has a moment to marvel at the change after the electric, numb-painful feeling branching through her body rebuilding itself settles and the wet layer of slime sloughs onto the ground. She has fingers again, ones with gnarled joints and claws at the end. They have pads which she can use to feel the soft fur that's grown over her arms and face -- oh, that's a muzzle! A cute little muzzle with chunky fangs that are too big for her mouth. Not inherently cute, maybe, but didn't detract from it, either. She wants to see --

There's a searing pain in her belly as she gets up that has her stumbling back in surprise. New feet she's not use to walking on bump against the shattered pieces of what was once her shell before giving up, folding again. Ow. Ow, ow, ow, something is wrong. Rachel's breath hitches before falling into a desperate pant, hot doggy breath hitting cold air and making even more fog than what usually spilled from her. She's drooling. She can tell that much through the confusion and pain because it drips close to the drawing she's shakily clawing into the dirt and threatens to break it. It might not do any good anyway. Her mind had been so different, struggling to hold onto the information she received, but she'd done her best to memorize what was important. The symbol had been important.]

A-Atem... [Her voice trembles, and tears are joining the spittle in the cold dirt.] Can you...hear me?

[It's a silly thing to ask. He can't answer. But maybe it worked, and maybe she'd have to do more than wait there all alone.]

I'm just -- outside Bavan. To the n-nnow... Ugh, the north. I think -- [She can't curl up, but laying flat hurts, too. She just -- has to stop moving. Settle in a half-curled sprawl to the side and speak through the odd keening that makes her want to cry even more than what she's feeling, even if she can tell it's only coming from her. It sounds sad. She's so sorry, little puppy.] I don't want -- to die alone.

[He gets it right away -- straight into his mind's eye, just like all the times Atem tested it. The face is different, but he knows the voice, and oh, no, she's in pain--! Dying? Why's she dying? She's not in trouble, is she...?

Being a demon is pretty carefree, but Atem himself has a well of caring so deep a demon's psych change barely scratches the surface. So, within seconds, he's throwing on a coat, the one that buttons around his wings, and has barely pulled on shoes before he's taking off out the back door, vaulting the rail of the eighth floor's fire escape, letting blue leathery wings catch him a few floors down and riding an updraft to just above the height of the buildings in this part of town.

He can't send a message, but he wonders if maybe she'll feel a connection between their hearts, if they believe enough -- stay there, he's coming.

It's happened to Atem before. Unity powers.

Anyway, north, north...there's a fair bit of ground to cover, since it's a big city, but luckily, Atem's still a flying type. He's had practice with three kinds of wings now, and these aren't so different from his fog form...

He looks at the image in his mind for any clues, anything in the periphery that might give him an idea of what to look for as he begins his sweep. If nothing else, the light fur will stand out against dirt -- Atem flies as high as he can while still getting a good look at the ground, gliding with his wings wide, flapping at intervals to maintain height.

Where, where, where...?

It's hard to listen to her like this. But Atem has to, in case she moves, in case something finds her before he does.]

[Despite their differences, generally, Mukuro's been able to respect and appreciate Atem. It's only very recently that he pushed hard enough to really upset her, and from what she's gathered, part of that was his temporary monster change saddling him with some troublesome psychological changes none of them were expecting. That would be one thing, she'd be willing to wait for an apology and a return to normal - except then the usual monthly nonsense happened. She's pretty sure she hadn't actually managed to kill him, but she had tried to, and - that level of uncontrolled anger isn't something she's let happen in a long time. It's not what she wants to be, and it's not what Atem deserved. Plus, two of her most important people really like him, and on top of that they are literally neighbors. She can't just ignore him or pretend it didn't happen. She's not a coward.

She waits until the fog recedes, so her mind is clear and entirely her own. This is already going to be difficult, and the last thing she needs is to be pushed into a more aggressive mindset. Once it's relatively safe, and she's sure he's around, there's a knock at his door come nightfall - she's not going to bother with text. Not when they've had so many miscommunications already. This is a conversation they should have face to face, and Mukuro knows an apology means more in person regardless.]

[The good news is that the spot she’d chosen to make her change was open to the moonlight, and would be nice and visible from above, even without the faint light trying to work together with the creamy color of her fur to stand out.

She’s done a lot of staring at the moon. It isn’t the same one that had been immortalized in her room, that she’d seen with the doctor one day and that she’d later put a bullet through because it was nothing but a fake like her. This moon seems almost painfully honest. Maybe it’s trying to help with the “not dying alone” thing.]

And it’s not…the same as that one either. Not as beautiful…

[The moon that had shone so brightly, lighting Zack from behind as he reached out to her looking even more beautiful than the moon. It had witnessed the happiest moment of her short life. This definitely isn’t that one, but it might be all she has.]

I-I want you to know…it’s okay.

[Even if he can’t hear her after all, she has to let him know. It was all the more important if he could, whether he was on his way or not. She’d like to think he is. If she dies without finding out, that will be the belief she holds in her heart, as much as it’s betraying her now by slowly pumping blood out where it wasn’t supposed to be, where it couldn’t find its way back. It’s different than when she’d been on the floor bleeding out through two gunshot wounds. She can’t see any blood or feel her fingers get cold. The sky above isn’t seeming further away by the second and what she can hear isn’t sounding faint, distant, even her own voice. It isn’t the same, but she knows. It hurts too much to not be this.]

If you don’t get here, it’s okay. Don’t — feel bad.

[Is that something in the sky, or a trick from her desperate brain? Maybe it’s her birdie coming back for her. It doesn’t matter. Ray closes her eyes and tries to breathe. Focus. Stay calm and wait.]

It matters most…that you’re someone I — can ask. Y-you understand the…feeling. Whether you…can hear me or not, you’re here. But I — I selfishly want…

[wow atem you are freakishly chipper about this . . . okay buddy]

my impression thus far has been that many vampires in this place don't put a lot of stock in self-control, or minimizing body count. i suppose it's a relief to be able to non-lethally feed, theoretically. that's one good thing.

[which he hates admitting. he also hates this description of congealed fridge blood.]

no i've only been like this for a day or something and i hate thinking about it. it's mortifying. and i am almost never embarrassed by anything. how do you even start that conversation.

[Drinking blood hasn't been particularly traumatic for him. He considers it an upside of the monster type, honestly...]

You probably won't have to. There are plenty of monsters who don't mind being bitten by a vampire, and when they find out you need blood, chances are they'll offer!

Just watch out for the humans who offer blood to you, too. They're always weird about it...too eager. I've never taken any of them up on it.

[Brace yourself for harassment, Giorno, you're good-looking and your monster type is a really common fetish.]

[ew]

[ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew]

that is exactly what i was afraid of

how is it any less weird when monsters offer??

It's weird when it's somebody you don't know, but if you've got a friendly relationship already, it's not so bad. It doesn't HAVE to be weird.

Actually, I'm a demon this month, which means I'm in a position to donate -- AND I have phlebotomy equipment that might make the whole thing less personal. Plus, I can teleport away if it starts to go badly.

If you're really starving, I don't mind lending a hand! I won't make anything out of it. Cross my heart!

[Well, his heart's breaking. He's not sure what she's talking about at the start, but the rest of it, Atem understands completely, and it makes his chest ache. He starts to teleport, to make up more ground, leaving little rings of flashbang fire and then smoke in the sky behind him, like a sputtering rocket-engine.

There. In the moonlight, she almost looks like a ghost -- but, she's not, not yet.

Atem's wings furl, and he cuts his altitude sharply, slowing his descent about ten feet from the ground so blue-black hooves can lightly crunch against the dirt, in front of her.]

I heard you.

[He approaches on weird goat-shaped feet and crouches down, reaching out to put clawed and scaly hands on her shoulders.]

Ray, did somebody hurt you? Are they still here?

[He doesn't see any blood, and it didn't look like anyone else was here, but...if this isn't an attack, then why is she dying?]

Edited 2021-12-08 19:57 (UTC)

[There's a new sound to go along with her panting and the distant hints of life moving on without a thought for her. Her ears twitch as it registers, one angling towards it before she opens her eyes again in time to see the wings catch the air to bring him to a stop...and the one they were attached to. He was there. He really came. Her eyes, one the gold-tinged brown of a dog and the other her usual blue but with a hazed, red pupil, are watery from relief more than pain as she pushes herself up more against her better judgement. It brings a sharp stab in her gut and a wave of nausea that makes her whimper rough, bordering on a growl. She didn't need to be distracted by something so meaningless. Not when her prayers have been answered.]

Y-you're here, [she tells him with more than a little wonder. As if maybe he didn't know and he'd find this wonderful as she did. It takes another second for her brain to trudge through the various sensations and register what else he's said, but it's still faster as a werewolf than when she'd been a slime.] No... There's no one.

[Her bumpy palms find his arm to keep it steady, not wanting it to leave. He's warm, and though that numbness hasn't set in, the weather is more than enough to chill her in her tank top, shorts, and white hoodie. With how pristine the fabric is, it's even more clear that she isn't bleeding -- outwardly, anyway. She rests her fuzzy cheek on his hand, which makes a tear slip down onto his skin. It's like something so small had clouded her vision, because realization dawns on her again while she looks up at him.]

Oh. You're something else, too... Again...

[Clearly very important. A demon, maybe? Probably. That was one to have complicated feelings on, for her. Sort of like the weird mix of feelings now that was only making her more inclined to be sick. Gosh, he's really there. She can feel him and everything, even through all this. Another spike making her flinch and weakly try to curl her legs in like she can scramble away and make it all better again brings her out of the distracted daze.]

It hurts. It feels -- like what I think being stabbed must feel like. [She can hear the animal whine bleeding into her breathing now, which maybe isn't a surprise when it feels like something is being squeezed. Like she's one of her plush toys with a little squeaker inside.] My stomach... I don't know. But you're here. It -- it worked.

--ah!

[He's a very carefree demon. So carefree he just unlocked and opened the door without asking who it was. Atem startles, red-on-black eyes widening -- before logic catches up with him. She's not here to fight, of course not, if she were it'd have been timed differently, it wouldn't have been a polite knock on his door. Still...the fact that he startled at all speaks to a guilty conscience.

As a nephilim, it was impossible to forget. As a demon, it's easy, as long as it's out of sight. But even as a demon, what he got into with Mukuro presses on his mind like a vise, when he remembers.

So, if she's not here to fight...what is she here for? To talk? Whatever it is, it must be important if she's seeking him out.]

...Mukuro.

[And shouldn't be discussed in the hallway.]

Would you like to come in?

[His tail, blue and spade-tipped, is held low, twitching from side to side behind his ankles. It's not comfortable but definitely not signalling a threat.]

[--Oh.

He's something else. Again. Her eyes flit over him as she assesses the new changes - it's immediately obvious as a demon, thankfully. That... might still be bad, but she's at least pretty sure she can still take him in a fight if it comes to that. Though she really, really doesn't want it to.]

Mm. Thanks.

[For what it's worth, she looks similarly uncomfortable as she slips inside - her ears are back, her tail is low. When she turns to look at him again, she manages to hold his gaze, but only just.]

...I'm - sorry.

[Her voice is low and clearly a bit tense. It's sincere - Mukuro doesn't bother with talking much at all, let alone going out of her way to come over just to lie - but being vulnerable like this is never easy, even without the stress of worrying about what might happen next.]

I shouldn't have attacked you. I know - we were both - out of it. But - still.

[The black-backed eyes widen again.

Whatever Atem was expecting her to lead with, it wasn't that.]

No, I...

...I apologize.

I crossed a line. Even before the fog started...I had no right to approach you like that, over something that's in the past. I stepped in your heart, without any respect...I trespassed in your soul.

[Especially with the regret spell. He was out of it, but that...that's something he's not happy at all that he did. It goes against the code he lives by, one he can get by with here in Ryslig. Breaking his own principles is something Atem's deeply ashamed of.]

Being that kind of monster rearranged my priorities in a way I never wanted. One that didn't help, that hurt a lot of people. It's no excuse, but...I won't be changing to it again, if I can help it.

[And he means it when he says:]

I don't blame you for what happened during the fog.

[As a nephilim, his priorities were rearranged, justice and goodness before feelings, and it made him callous. As a vampire, he was calculating tactical advantages; the best angle of approach, the way to get the most mechanical benefit in the shortest amount of time. As a vampire, he'd probably suggest taking her to the hospital right away.

As a demon, he turns the hand her cheek's resting on upward, to cup the side of her canine face. In a tone as solid and reassuring as the touch to her shoulders is:]

It worked.

[Batlike wings don't wrap around her, exactly, but they stretch out to either side and above, blocking out the wind. Her skin's cold, even with the fur...not the most worrying thing about Ray's current state, but something he can do something about.]

Would you like me to take you somewhere else? I can carry you...anywhere you like.

[If she chooses the clinic, that's fine. If she chooses somewhere else, that's okay, too.]

[This time it's her turn to look at him with wide eyes.

She's used to being mistreated without apology, and she's very aware she deserves much worse. For Atem to apologize for that, and say he doesn't blame her for her nearly taking his arm off - she would have surely killed him, if he hadn't had that purification spell, and even then, he's okay with it?

...Really???

All she can do is gape at him for a moment, trying to catch up. Atem is - honest. He doesn't tend to manipulate, he lets people fall into the obvious traps he lays based on their own fatal flaws. There's no reason for him to lie, especially about this - if he'd felt truly justified, he wouldn't say this. She knows. She knows all of that, and even so, it seems ludicrous.

But she's seen many sides of him, by now. Enough that she isn't afraid of him at all, even when they disagree. Enough to think about how he might - actually listen, now that he isn't being driven to judge and smite.

When she finally speaks again, her voice is softer. Less on edge, more tired than anything else.]

...Mmn.
If you actually - want to know. I can tell you. About - before.

[It's not a secret anymore. Not really. Not from the people she cares most dearly for, at least, and those who hate her already know she's a bad person now thanks to the bombings. The only way it can hurt is for Atem to use it to hurt her directly. But he's had his chance to do that, by now.]

[This silence is Giorno trying to come up with a legitimate reason for saying no to this very reasonable offer.]

[The next part of the silence is him realizing he is actually just incredibly uncomfortable and worried.]

[But . . .]

would you?

teleport away. "can" doesn't mean" will".

Yes. I would. My next death is going to come with a cost...I wouldn't trade one of my memories for another monster's meal.

[Cold, but true. That's a hard line for him now, something that's changed lately, and something he'll have to take into consideration as he continues to move through the game. Atem's out of freebies. The tutorial mode's over.]

There's also the possibility of stopping whatever's happening by taking possession of your body, since I'm more used to controlling that type of hunger than you are. But that's not the kind of thing you do to a friend without getting their permission first...not outside of a situation that was already dire!

[With things like the hydra-parasites around, odds are good that a monster could have had bad experiences with not being in control of their bodies. And that's not even counting what might have happened to someone before coming to Ryslig...like Ryou.]

Any conditions and failsafes you want to set, I'll agree to. But I won't let myself be hurt!

[A quick shiver runs through her to chase the wind's absence, but it's followed by a sigh and the slightest relaxing of her muscles. It was hard not to be tense when she was periodically feeling like something was cutting into her. His words, a confirmation of a confirmation, make her tail give a weak, single wag.]

...I don't know. It hhhuh -- hurts when I move. [Yet there she goes, trying to lean and worm her way in closer to him, weakly coughing and drooling even with the smallest of movements. There was that dizzying, floaty feeling, and she closes her eyes to keep her from feeling like she's slowly spinning out. She's safe with him.] But if it's you...it's fine. I just didn't -- want to be alone. I wanted...someone... That was always the m-most important. It's too scary...otherwise.

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cw for hurt kiddo and/or kind of dog

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action; Dec. 9th

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<Player1> cw harassment mention

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.