knifemonopoly | IC inbox

[A slow nod.]

I think I understand!

Thank you, for talking with me. It's made a lot of things clearer than they were before.

i've got plenty but thanks. are We going to throw a party?!

[Because Ryou is absolutely ready to make a cake big enough. He can do it!

Does Yugi even want a whole party? Like...he deserves one, so...why not?]

I don't know. We don't have time to plan anything elaborate...but we do live close to some of our friends. I wouldn't mind seeing who wants to come over.

[Inviting people over for cake...and to meet Yugi...he might not know everything about this Yugi, but he can't imagine a Yugi who wouldn't want to meet new friends.]

Alright i'll go shop now then.

its going to be fun maybe we can sort out the confusion for our new friends since yugi is yugi and you're you!

[In his overexcitement, Ryou has probably said...not a very kind thing. He meant it in a good way, but, um. Oops.

The other Yugi won't be getting responded to for a while either. Ryou's going to regret that later.]

[No, that's...okay. If anyone has the right to put it that bluntly...it's Ryou Bakura. Ryou, whose other self had arrived before him, who had used his face, who had made Ryou feel like his identity was already occupied by someone else, and there was no space for another Ryou Bakura in Ryslig. It had left Ryou fading into the background like only a shade could, haunting houses alone even though there were places he could go, people who could help.

He can't do that to Yugi.]

Yes. I think it's time you told me my name.

[And, since Ryou's clearly out of the house -- he'll catch Ryou later, when he gets a moment. This isn't something that should be done over text, jeez.]

[It is appreciated, even if Doppio isn't absolutely sure Yugi is just being polite about the elephant in the room.]

Oh yeah, especially since I'm always hungry.
Sure I don't really get anything out of any food that isn't meat anymore, but...
It still tastes nice.

i know what you mean. it seems like every time i end up eating normal food, it's because the people around me are...it's just for fun now.

[When Ryou finally gets back home, he's carrying several bags full of baking supplies in his arms and is even using one of his tendrils. He has to make good cake, alright?

But...he had seen the message from the other Yugi, and although it hadn't really dampened his mood, it did temper and direct it a little.

At least a portion of the walk home he had spent with his groceries in hand, laptop bag loudly smacking against his thigh to remind him hey, you should say something. Hey, you shouldn't have been so brazen.

Hey.

This is hard for him.

And while he had been walking home, Ryou had come to the realization that he...is both exhilarated and frightened to be the one to say this. Shouldn't it be Yugi? W...why is Ryou so important? He's just...Bakura. The quiet classmate. The one that hides away behind the rest of the group, all smiles and agreements and support, but never really the one who should be valued so highly.

He knows the other Yugi trusts him wholeheartedly but sometimes...when faced with that trust and all of the kind things someone's done for him, it makes him feel...kind of whole. He's not just fulfilled, but perhaps a bit smitten at the thought that, you know...he's valued.

...So anyway with those thoughts in his mind, he'd had to walk it off for a little longer than intended, and yeah he's home, but it took him more time than usual. He hopes the other Yugi is either out himself, or hasn't noticed.

Juggling his groceries, Ryou finally unlocks and opens the door to see which it was.]

Hello! I'm back!

[We're handwaving that at some point during this whole amazing reunion thing, the other Yugi gets some time to himself, we'll work it out it's fine.

He wasn't expecting today to turn out like this. He was expecting to distract himself from the date as much as he could, avoid thinking about it by keeping busy, stay focused on the game and winning--

--but Yugi's here. Instead of ignoring what day it was, they're celebrating, and even though he knows being here won't be easy all of the time...he's already over the moon.]

There you are! Here, let me get that.

[He'll reach up for the bag being held in a shadow tendril, because if those are coming out then Ryou's hands are really full, and the more he uses his powers, the sooner he'll have to eat. That bag gets taken first, and its contents will be sorted and laid out on the counter. He doesn't seem like he's in a bad mood, from what Ryou said -- there's a sting to it, yes, but if the options are, "use Yugi's name in his absence" or "have to get your own name back because the friend who's been in your heart is here with you," then he can tell you which problem he'd rather have.]

Thank you, I think I might have gone a little overboard, heh.

[Indeed, Ryou's hands are laden with all kinds of things, including some proper bakeware for the occasion. He's thankful when the other Yugi takes some of the load off, and lowers the tendril obligingly. Once they've both placed things on the counter, Ryou considers, just for a moment, that they had something slightly more important to do than sort his things out.

Mm...but no, it has to be done. He is not making Yugi wait any longer than necessary for a birthday present! If you had to get stuck in monster hell, better to do so with cake, right?

So he casually begins to empty his bags, setting plates and cake pans and some pretty expensive vanilla out on the counter. It's a mess of things, but he'll get through it. In the meantime...]

So, um. I imagine...we'll get Yugi here later, right? Is he okay?

[A pause.]

Are you...happy?

[He nods, shutting his eyes.]

I'm very happy.

He's the person I wanted to see again the most...it was terrible, realizing he wasn't still in my heart. And when I found out we weren't the same, all I wanted was to be able to talk to him about it. I wanted to know what he thought...what he wanted to do, now that we knew the truth! I didn't know what it would change, and I couldn't find out, not as long as I was the only "Yugi" here.

[His eyes open, and he looks forward, resting his hands on the kitchen counter.]

Now...I'm not. I can't use his name anymore, even if the face is something I can't really help! I can't do to him what the other spirit did to you -- I don't want him to have to fight me to be recognized as himself.

So, I'll give him his name back, and take my own.

[Even if it feels too big, even if it feels like a change he's not certain he's ready for, even if it'll mean a shift in who he is and how he sees himself, not to mention owning up to his friends about it...it's the right thing to do.]

[Ryou listens as he sorts out ingredients, and his own glowing eyes close just a little, because he's thinking about it all. He's happy Yugi is here too, but it had to be better for the other him, the one who he'd shared his heart and body with for so long. They were close, almost enviably close, but Ryou doesn't envy it like that.

He's happy that the other Yugi's happy. And if it helps him to be something else besides "the other Yugi", then Ryou will support him wholeheartedly. He isn't even sure if he'd have the heart to stop calling this happy soon-to-be-named pharaoh Yugi if that was what he really wanted.

But here they are. And so Ryou reaches a hand out, hesitantly at first, then he firmly places it on his friend's shoulder.]

It's alright to borrow something for a little while, you know, if you know when to give it back. I didn't mind calling you Yugi. You were Yugi to me for years, after all.

But I think everyone will adjust perfectly fine to your name. And with Yugi here, it's like having your best friend, isn't it? Your own best friend who looks like you. The one you cherish the most. Someone you would wholeheartedly support, and who you know would support you.

[He hesitates, because part of him still feels like what he's about to disclose is Yugi's privilege. But it was Ryou that was chosen...and for just a moment, he wants to hold onto that warm feeling and return the trust in the best way he can.]

You're very strong for giving his name back to him, like a gift. Try to think of yours as a gift too...Atem.

[All the words Ryou says to him, leading up to his name -- they put him at ease. Especially after (Liar-kun) some of his experiences in the forest (this is your body's childhood home)...

He turns to face Ryou, accepting the support, the hand on his shoulder. He's reassured: it was alright to borrow the name, as long as he gives it back when it's time. Okay, go for it, hit him, he's ready--]

"Atem?"

[--he blinks a moment, turning it over in his mind, feeling it sink into his soul, feeling the indescribable truth of it--

--then, laughs.]

It's really "Atem?" Well, at least some of the people I know won't have trouble adjusting -- though they might tell me, "But I just got used to 'Yugi'!"

[Really, Ryslig? Really, horror-game? You skirted that close to his real name, his real appearance -- and you went with Adam? He's got some questions for the moderators and game-designers, hey, he just wants to talk--]

Are you hungry all the time too?
I think I read somewhere that it's a waldgeist thing, but it's seriously annoying.
Eating meat helps, but anything else feels like it just passes right through me.

Yes well...I'm sure you can see the humor in your name being Atem, given the situation in March.

[Yes he found the Adam thing funny. But honestly he wasn't going to be the one to bring it up before it was appropriate.

The reaction that Atem has though, it's enough to put Ryou at ease. He'd been worried that something bad would happen, or that it would bother him hearing his own name. He was even concerned that it would be a little much and cause some level of dysphoria. It makes the shade unreasonably happy that things have gone over so well, and he only draws his hand back so he can comfortably rest his face in it with a silly grin. Here they are, amongst all the fixings and supplies for a cake, and now Ryou's about to make two. "Happy Birthday Yugi" and "Happy Name Day Atem". Surprise, you have a name. Let there be cake!

Oh, he won't tell him of course. He's just gonna do it.]

I'm sure they'll manage! It's just another four letter name, after all. Real friends accept who you are. And these people here...they're real friends, aren't they? All of them have certainly found a way to settle themselves in your heart.

[Adam. He all but rolls his eyes. Really!

In the other Yugi's -- no, Atem's heart, it feels a little bit like blocks are sliding around, moving into place, puzzle pieces moving out of the way of a new part of himself, great stone slabs grinding slow and ponderous into their new form. It feels weird -- different -- but not bad. He's Atem.

And he's got lots of real friends, here. He can scarcely believe he made them, without Yugi here to get to know them first, to do the hard part (high stakes murder games to protect them are the easy part, you heard him), but he did.]

Yes. Yes, the people here...they're part of my heart.

[Which feels both bigger than it did before, and less empty -- even though he still doesn't have memories of who he was before he was sealed into the Millennium Puzzle (he'd wondered if that would happen, but a quick mental scan says no) he feels like he's standing on firmer ground. He'll be able to give his name now without feeling off, or wrong, or dishonest. Even if he doesn't tell everyone everything...he can introduce himself as himself, instead of the part of him that misses the other part so much it can't let go.

He can do it without it feeling like Yugi is gone.

But, the number of people he knows, means...]

...it does mean I have a lot of people to correct.

[oh no, what a terrible problem to have.]

Edited 2021-06-08 21:33 (UTC)

not exactly, but...if i am hungry and eat something that isn't blood, it doesn't help.

being hungry all the time sounds pretty terrible though

Oh, I don't mean THAT kind of hunger!
It's more like I just crave meat all the time.
And... I guess eating other stuff doesn't help at all, but I still eat it just because I can?

A lot of this is going to be useful. Just... keep in mind I'm telling you things I knew based on my own experiences.

[ Annie offers him a warm smile. ]

I think in time we'll find someone right for Javert.

but it's related to your monster type...

[Wait, didn't Doppio say something when he first arrived...?]

you do take care of THAT kind of hunger, right?

Well, you could always tell them on the network for brevity's sake. You have quite a few acquaintances, after all!

[More than just friends. Some are acquaintances, enemies, and everything in between. Ryou finds it so terribly amusing how much Atem can ingrain himself into people's lives. He's got a very bombastic nature, and whatever had happened before he met Ryou several years ago, it had cemented his faith in friendship to the point that he could look at the coldest, loneliest heart and find a way to try and make it better.

...Ryou doesn't linger on that too long, because he'd done quite enough of that on the way back home, and he still had to sort that mess of feelings out. Telling Atem about it is currently very much out of the question.

So, he goes back to what he'd bought, reaching one spindly index finger out to tip the balance of the bottle from one side to the other.]

So, ah. We haven't really had much time to discuss the past few weeks. But before I get busy making cakes, I want to tell you something.

[The vanilla settles back slowly, and Ryou keeps the tip of his clawed finger upon it even as he looks Atem in the eye.]

...Thank you. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. You didn't have to believe me when I said we were classmates, nor did you have to believe it when I said we were friends. You trusted me probably more than I deserved, and you gave me a home. A-and you...you really went through so much trouble when I couldn't feel. I'm...sorry for the struggle I've caused you.

[The network? He supposes he could, but...that feels strangely impersonal for something like this. It feels a little like making a big announcement, and...while Atem's gotten over a significant amount of the social reclusivity that comes with being the part of another person who only comes out when there's trouble, he finds himself shying away from something like that. He'll think about it, but he's really not sure.

Then, Ryou pulls him out of his thoughts by going on, and...is Ryou right? Did he really do all that? It sounds like a lot, when Ryou puts it that way, but to Atem, it's been the kind of thing you do for a friend, especially one in crisis who needs support. Is...that the kind of person Atem is?

That's the kind of person he wants Atem to be.]

You haven't caused any trouble at all! This place is difficult, and sometimes we get hurt, but...helping each other when that happens is only right!

Of course I believed you. You're a person I can trust! You were the only person I could ask about my past, who I was sure would tell me the truth. And you reminded me that it's important to rest, too, if you want to be at your best when the next patch of trouble hits. Making good memories, to help you through the bad times...you can't do that by yourself!

So, I'm glad to have you as a friend, Ryou. You don't have to apologize for anything.

...

I don't want to talk about what happened right now, but...when the party's over, I've got an apology of my own to make.

[Because that hydra said some shit. Now's not the time to dredge it up, but...that should be addressed.]

[Ryou wakes up pretty late in the day--or night, rather. He evidently needed all the sleep he could get, and that was understandable. After yesterday, being awake nearly 24 hours and high off of regaining his emotions...he'd worn himself down to basically nothing.

He didn't even remember getting to bed at all.

But at last, sometime during the later evening, he pries himself out of his room, rubbing sleepily at his glowing eyes while they adjust to open and the rest of him attempts to adjust to awake.

For some reason, as he heads to the kitchen, he finds that his heart is heavy and discomforted. Maybe it was just feelings hangover or something--he'd been repressing every bad thing yesterday so he could enjoy it all. Enjoy Yugi. Enjoy the party.

Oh, right. Right! Yugi!

He shakes his head to clear out the fuzzy tiredness, then glances at the couch. Is he there? Maybe...maybe not?]

[Yugi's not there, but Atem is, sitting on the couch by curtains he's opened to let moonlight in. He's got a mug, and there's steam rising out of it -- because drinking blood cold really is the worst way to do it. His eyes follow Ryou as he makes his way sleepily to the kitchen.]

You're finally up!

[He looks like he's still a little tired, like he hasn't gotten all the sleep he really needs, but he doesn't look unhappy.]

Don't feel too bad. You needed the rest! It's been quite the week.

[It's been quite the month.]

[Haha, cute. Well, he's not upset that it's Atem rather than Yugi.]

Well hello yourself. Perhaps you would benefit from sleeping in every once in a while, unless you like circles under your eyes.

[Life's better with a little early morning sass. But just as he's sure Atem meant no harm, Ryou's words are devoid of any actual barbs. Besides, if anyone's got circles, it's him.

Maybe it's out of his routine, but it's not the end of the world when the shade changes his course, instead moving to the couch so he can catch a seat and just...relax with his friend for a moment. They haven't had much of a chance since Atem revived, because then it had been Ryou's problems, and once that was fixed, it was about visiting the newcomers, then Yugi, then the party...

Just everything.]

Mmm...but you're at least half-right. It's been quite the single day for me, whereas you've had to deal with me being as boring as a doorstop for quite a while.

...We had a good party though.

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Action, dated after the birthday party

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.