[Despair pricks at Atem's heart again, under the surface. He doesn't know how to solve this, when he's gotten into fights with nearly half that list.
Now's not the time to bring that up.
Not being in control of who you are anymore...
...now may not be the time to discuss how Atem's felt about that lately, either.
But, he thinks he sees...he thinks now is the time to talk about why people follow gods. He thinks, though he can't be sure, can't be sure of anything anymore, he gets why Ryou's this upset.]
Don't listen to him.
[A little bit of life comes back into Atem's eyes -- the embers of conviction, a shadow of what used to be there, but still giving off light and heat.]
He thought you would be happier living with the idea that you aren't in control of what you do. But that's not true for you. You've been out of your own control before, and you've had the courage to face the horror of deciding who to eat in the name of not hurting more people than you have to, and because making decisions for yourself matters to you. He's a fool to think you're the kind of coward who would let others come to harm so you could hide in ignorance.
[Is this going to help? Atem has no idea. But if Ryou's going to become a self-sufficient monster, if he's going to follow his own path, then Atem can't hold him as delicately anymore. He'll say what he has to say.]
He only said that because he thought it would work. The gods...they're a very effective means of dividing us, aren't they? The fact that there are two, that they reward their followers for hurting members of the other faction, and that those rewards are powers that let them hurt other monsters more efficiently...it keeps us vengeful and angry, and prevents us from banding together to find a way to stop them, to stop this.
[This is the most he's talked at once in....well, in weeks.]
And people always seem to follow them for very personal reasons. The gods offer monsters more than just power! People who follow Elias want a friend, or to feel good about fighting back, even when his methods are questionable. People who follow the Fog want someone motherly, to tell them that doing what makes them happy is good, even if it breaks the rules. Some people want those voices in their lives, especially in a place like this. Wanting reassurance that you're doing good, or that you're good the way you are, doesn't make them bad people, or bad friends. And it doesn't make you bad for being friends with them!
[He's almost able to forget, in that, how bad he feels, all of his own doubt and self-doubt. It's the kind of thing he was able to focus on as a vampire, but had difficulty with as a nephilim: focusing on someone else's perspective, instead of being chained to the inflexible, sinking anchor of his own. The voice that says what makes us bad is different is muffled, quiet, and distant.]
The best way to go against the gods...is to keep being friends with others, regardless of who they follow. Don't let the factions divide us.
no subject
Now's not the time to bring that up.
Not being in control of who you are anymore...
...now may not be the time to discuss how Atem's felt about that lately, either.
But, he thinks he sees...he thinks now is the time to talk about why people follow gods. He thinks, though he can't be sure, can't be sure of anything anymore, he gets why Ryou's this upset.]
Don't listen to him.
[A little bit of life comes back into Atem's eyes -- the embers of conviction, a shadow of what used to be there, but still giving off light and heat.]
He thought you would be happier living with the idea that you aren't in control of what you do. But that's not true for you. You've been out of your own control before, and you've had the courage to face the horror of deciding who to eat in the name of not hurting more people than you have to, and because making decisions for yourself matters to you. He's a fool to think you're the kind of coward who would let others come to harm so you could hide in ignorance.
[Is this going to help? Atem has no idea. But if Ryou's going to become a self-sufficient monster, if he's going to follow his own path, then Atem can't hold him as delicately anymore. He'll say what he has to say.]
He only said that because he thought it would work. The gods...they're a very effective means of dividing us, aren't they? The fact that there are two, that they reward their followers for hurting members of the other faction, and that those rewards are powers that let them hurt other monsters more efficiently...it keeps us vengeful and angry, and prevents us from banding together to find a way to stop them, to stop this.
[This is the most he's talked at once in....well, in weeks.]
And people always seem to follow them for very personal reasons. The gods offer monsters more than just power! People who follow Elias want a friend, or to feel good about fighting back, even when his methods are questionable. People who follow the Fog want someone motherly, to tell them that doing what makes them happy is good, even if it breaks the rules. Some people want those voices in their lives, especially in a place like this. Wanting reassurance that you're doing good, or that you're good the way you are, doesn't make them bad people, or bad friends. And it doesn't make you bad for being friends with them!
[He's almost able to forget, in that, how bad he feels, all of his own doubt and self-doubt. It's the kind of thing he was able to focus on as a vampire, but had difficulty with as a nephilim: focusing on someone else's perspective, instead of being chained to the inflexible, sinking anchor of his own. The voice that says what makes us bad is different is muffled, quiet, and distant.]
The best way to go against the gods...is to keep being friends with others, regardless of who they follow. Don't let the factions divide us.
[Like he's almost certain they're meant to.]