[He's quiet a moment, turning his cheek up to accept the kiss -- it's not a cheerful quiet, but it's not a cold one, either.]
...I thought your reason for leaving without telling me was that, after all the mistakes I'd made and promises I'd broken, I wasn't someone you wanted to go to about it.
[He'll open up about this, at least. This isn't an attempt at guilting: it's clear in Atem's tone that this is a decision he would have understood and accepted, and that the reason he hadn't interfered sooner was because he was respecting what he understood to be a boundary that had been set, and that he's admitting to a source of pain, but not in a blaming or angry way.]
I'm glad the reason wasn't that you felt you couldn't trust me.
[He feels like he can't trust him. Ryou feeling like he couldn't trust him is an entirely reasonable position to take. Especially considering the intrusive thoughts, the difficulty Atem's still having with forgiving, with ignoring, with justifying and compartmentalizing and accepting, things he absolutely has to be able to do to survive in Ryslig.
The alternative would be to fly off alone, to hunt for himself, to have no friends and hold himself apart. It's tempting, to his nephilim's logic; he'd escape pain that way, he'd be able to slough off the moral dilemmas and only worry about himself and his own impact on the world. He wouldn't have to tacitly accept the deeds of his friends, supporting people who killed innocents, and didn't seem to care. It'd be simpler...
...but, does Atem have the right? No. No, he's blackened like everyone else. He might as well stay, and see if the other murderers have it in their hearts to understand.]
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...I thought your reason for leaving without telling me was that, after all the mistakes I'd made and promises I'd broken, I wasn't someone you wanted to go to about it.
[He'll open up about this, at least. This isn't an attempt at guilting: it's clear in Atem's tone that this is a decision he would have understood and accepted, and that the reason he hadn't interfered sooner was because he was respecting what he understood to be a boundary that had been set, and that he's admitting to a source of pain, but not in a blaming or angry way.]
I'm glad the reason wasn't that you felt you couldn't trust me.
[He feels like he can't trust him. Ryou feeling like he couldn't trust him is an entirely reasonable position to take. Especially considering the intrusive thoughts, the difficulty Atem's still having with forgiving, with ignoring, with justifying and compartmentalizing and accepting, things he absolutely has to be able to do to survive in Ryslig.
The alternative would be to fly off alone, to hunt for himself, to have no friends and hold himself apart. It's tempting, to his nephilim's logic; he'd escape pain that way, he'd be able to slough off the moral dilemmas and only worry about himself and his own impact on the world. He wouldn't have to tacitly accept the deeds of his friends, supporting people who killed innocents, and didn't seem to care. It'd be simpler...
...but, does Atem have the right? No. No, he's blackened like everyone else. He might as well stay, and see if the other murderers have it in their hearts to understand.]