[He listens, nods, sees what she's saying. It's...it really is terrible, the things she's been through. And it's not wrong, to want other people to not feel that, not experience it or its aftereffects.

But...]

There's still a difference between going through what you went through, and being like you. It left its mark on you -- I understand that. And it's good, to want to protect others from experiencing it, too.

But you're not the harm that's been done to you, either. Be careful talking about yourself like that mark, like those experiences, are all you are. If you say it too much, you'll start to believe it.

[Her specifying this...that's what he wants. That's what he means. The effect it had on her is part of her, but not all.]