isawallflower: ('cause the kids would start to laugh)
𝓡𝓲𝓵𝓮𝔂 𝓦𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓼 ([personal profile] isawallflower) wrote in [personal profile] knifemonopoly 2022-02-16 01:19 am (UTC)

[ It's...counterproductive, to dig into this. To argue. He's right. But...

She doesn't want them to grow up into her. She doesn't know what other people see in her, this hollow wreck of a girl, despite how grateful she is for them. She's stopped trying to push them away, and in her honesty...somehow they still want to love her.

And she can't reconcile it. Not with what she's done, or what she's experienced. Why, after so long, would adults finally start looking at her and seeing she needed help, when they ignored her for so long.

Why peers don't dismiss her, want to listen to her interests and don't laugh her down cruelly.

Why she's forgiven, time after time, for disappearing, lashing out, wanting, needing when that was never acceptable before.

...Why Cairo would look at what she did, how she acted, and still live in the same apartment, still offer her care and love. ]


I... [ She sighs and runs a hand through her feathered hair, messing up the ponytail and shaking free the shaggy bits that she tries to tuck behind her equally feathered ears. ]

I hear you. Okay? I do, it's just... It's a little— hard, sometimes, to- really get it.

...Sorry.

[ She is trying. But...she can't just change her whole way of thinking. Not that easily. ]

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