[Atem breathes. Take a breath; let it out. Stay cool, calm. Think. Listen.
Ryou's asking him a lot of questions here at once. He's not sure he can address them all...but, they'll loop back around to the important ones, right?
His snout's turning back to undead flesh. Slowly, like the shift in paint's color as it goes from wet to dry, chocolate becomes fur.]
...wait, October?
[That's unexpected...Atem thought it was January that was the problem. He shakes his head. One thing at a time.]
Ryou...it feels sometimes like you're not willing to say no to me. That, if I asked you for anything, you'd say yes...and, there was a time that was comforting! When I was hurting, and alone, and I needed someone who'd be with me, no matter what. In January...I needed that. [When it felt like no one else cared what had happened to them, and it had hurt...Ryou's closeness had eased the loneliness, the pain of his friends turning away.] But now I'm realizing that if I can't trust you to say no...then, I can't ask you for anything. It's just another kind of control over you! What if you say yes to something you don't want, and you resent me for it? What if you decide that your judgment isn't as good as mine anyway, that you should just listen to me instead of yourself, and I've completely destroyed your confidence?
[He shakes his head.]
But I'm trying to support you, too. In your plans, in your ideas...whatever you want to do, I won't try to stop you. Even if it goes wrong, I thought, I'd be there to make sure you didn't fall too hard. It just...feels like I'm keeping things from you. I can't be my whole self around you this way. I don't like that feeling...it feels dishonest!
[Eyes find Ryou.]
But, you wanted to talk about me staying out...? I want to talk about October, and what happened that made you put me first.
[Just, a list, of things they need to talk about.]
BAT FACE
Ryou's asking him a lot of questions here at once. He's not sure he can address them all...but, they'll loop back around to the important ones, right?
His snout's turning back to undead flesh. Slowly, like the shift in paint's color as it goes from wet to dry, chocolate becomes fur.]
...wait, October?
[That's unexpected...Atem thought it was January that was the problem. He shakes his head. One thing at a time.]
Ryou...it feels sometimes like you're not willing to say no to me. That, if I asked you for anything, you'd say yes...and, there was a time that was comforting! When I was hurting, and alone, and I needed someone who'd be with me, no matter what. In January...I needed that. [When it felt like no one else cared what had happened to them, and it had hurt...Ryou's closeness had eased the loneliness, the pain of his friends turning away.] But now I'm realizing that if I can't trust you to say no...then, I can't ask you for anything. It's just another kind of control over you! What if you say yes to something you don't want, and you resent me for it? What if you decide that your judgment isn't as good as mine anyway, that you should just listen to me instead of yourself, and I've completely destroyed your confidence?
[He shakes his head.]
But I'm trying to support you, too. In your plans, in your ideas...whatever you want to do, I won't try to stop you. Even if it goes wrong, I thought, I'd be there to make sure you didn't fall too hard. It just...feels like I'm keeping things from you. I can't be my whole self around you this way. I don't like that feeling...it feels dishonest!
[Eyes find Ryou.]
But, you wanted to talk about me staying out...? I want to talk about October, and what happened that made you put me first.
[Just, a list, of things they need to talk about.]