[Ryou is quiet for a long few seconds after that. He can't make Atem feel better about this, he's quite certain of that. Not even if he gives all of his own thoughts. But...he's going to anyway.]
I never saw Riley during that time. I didn't realize how bad it was for her...
[He looks up at Atem at last, and there's an apologetic look on his face.]
I don't think you're wrong, Atem. About what might happen. You're probably right that, should I walk this path...it might hurt other monsters, and myself. I appreciate that you'll support me, and that you're willing to admit that you could be wrong. But you probably aren't.
...Even if it's not me, it'll be someone else causing trouble. That's just the nature of this place. I'll have to live with whatever comes out of this, just like anyone else who makes a mistake here. But I can't go on as I am, taking advantage of what coins may manifest for me to pay out to Mana and continue delaying the inevitable a handful at a time.
[The apologetic look...it's fading for something harder. Something more determined.]
I'm going to do this. I'll do it because I can't keep wasting coins on temporary changes to avoid what my monster type is. I'm still going to test out other monster types, because at the end of all this...I'll change mine permanently. It takes a lot of coins to ask that of Mana, but if I can use the jewel, I can buy enough time to earn those coins. Or if the jewel works better than I thought...maybe I can be happy as a shade.
[He pauses, looks Atem in the eye and beyond that determination is unending fondness.]
You like me as a shade...don't you? And my power set revolves around my monster type. S-so...if I can make it work then I'd like to.
But...if it doesn't...I know that Mukuro will do what needs to be done. She'll kill me. She told me that if I ever caused monsters trouble, she would. Because I won't make you kill me again. Not even a mercy kill. That's not fair to you. All I can ever ask of you is if you would help me stand up again. If it goes bad, then...I'm afraid I'll need help, for a little while, until...
[He trails off, because he doesn't know how to even say it. If this fails, he knows he'll be too weak of heart to survive on his own for at least a little while, even after all this. Plus, others might come after him if he hurts them in service of helping himself. He wouldn't blame them.]
...Until it all settles. But if it causes you trouble, I can...go another way. I can.
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I never saw Riley during that time. I didn't realize how bad it was for her...
[He looks up at Atem at last, and there's an apologetic look on his face.]
I don't think you're wrong, Atem. About what might happen. You're probably right that, should I walk this path...it might hurt other monsters, and myself. I appreciate that you'll support me, and that you're willing to admit that you could be wrong. But you probably aren't.
...Even if it's not me, it'll be someone else causing trouble. That's just the nature of this place. I'll have to live with whatever comes out of this, just like anyone else who makes a mistake here. But I can't go on as I am, taking advantage of what coins may manifest for me to pay out to Mana and continue delaying the inevitable a handful at a time.
[The apologetic look...it's fading for something harder. Something more determined.]
I'm going to do this. I'll do it because I can't keep wasting coins on temporary changes to avoid what my monster type is. I'm still going to test out other monster types, because at the end of all this...I'll change mine permanently. It takes a lot of coins to ask that of Mana, but if I can use the jewel, I can buy enough time to earn those coins. Or if the jewel works better than I thought...maybe I can be happy as a shade.
[He pauses, looks Atem in the eye and beyond that determination is unending fondness.]
You like me as a shade...don't you? And my power set revolves around my monster type. S-so...if I can make it work then I'd like to.
But...if it doesn't...I know that Mukuro will do what needs to be done. She'll kill me. She told me that if I ever caused monsters trouble, she would. Because I won't make you kill me again. Not even a mercy kill. That's not fair to you. All I can ever ask of you is if you would help me stand up again. If it goes bad, then...I'm afraid I'll need help, for a little while, until...
[He trails off, because he doesn't know how to even say it. If this fails, he knows he'll be too weak of heart to survive on his own for at least a little while, even after all this. Plus, others might come after him if he hurts them in service of helping himself. He wouldn't blame them.]
...Until it all settles. But if it causes you trouble, I can...go another way. I can.