But even though it's clear, it doesn't stop a flash of temper from cutting through Atem's own anxiety, like heat lightning through a cloud bank. When Ryou leans over him, putting a hand on the bed, and changes his face to be a threat --
-- that's when Atem interrupts, glaring back at Ryou's snarling face with an answering snarl, Fog-whispers behind his voice, mist curling up from his nose and mouth.]
Oh, what have you ever given up for my sake, Ryou? You've never made a plan to make me stronger! It's always been my plan, for you, and your plan, for you. It had to be!
[Because Ryou was the one who needed it. Atem was okay with that, for so long, but realizing how doomed Ryou is, it feels like...
It feels so frustratingly pointless.]
I am the one who's worked and sacrificed for us. For you. You've worked to get stronger, you've tried, but...the plan's always mine. The sacrifices are always mine!
And you do need me around, because the powers I get work, and yours get taken away! My advantages stick, and you're never allowed to have them! Except I'll always end up separated from you, and there's nothing I can do to fight the part of this that's not you, that looks like bad luck but is malice!!
It's not your fault you can't hold onto an advantage when it matters most! It was taken away from you! And it's not your fault that I'm the kind of person who sacrifices his lives, his good name, his friends, to try to save you from what you're afraid of! I gave those things willingly...
...but I was so foolish to do it. I was so foolish, to not recognize that it was just --
[Here, the tears threaten again, even as Atem's molars grind.]
-- generating more suffering, for nothing, I --
-- how much I cared about you --
-- was used -- !
[This goddamn place. Atem wants to rip it apart with his bare hands. He wants to roar, scream, tear his clothes, tear up everything, because all of it is meaningless, meaningless, meaningless--!
Hoarsely, and panicky:]
I should have gone in alone. I should have let him hurt me, and just me, until I could use my ability, which works, to turn the tables on him. That way, our friends wouldn't have his attention now, for protection that you can't even count on.
[What a humiliating mistake. Ryslig got him, again...! Through his treasured relationship!]
reset to last save, quicktime event! cw, for, content. Self sacrifice talk.
But even though it's clear, it doesn't stop a flash of temper from cutting through Atem's own anxiety, like heat lightning through a cloud bank. When Ryou leans over him, putting a hand on the bed, and changes his face to be a threat --
-- that's when Atem interrupts, glaring back at Ryou's snarling face with an answering snarl, Fog-whispers behind his voice, mist curling up from his nose and mouth.]
Oh, what have you ever given up for my sake, Ryou? You've never made a plan to make me stronger! It's always been my plan, for you, and your plan, for you. It had to be!
[Because Ryou was the one who needed it. Atem was okay with that, for so long, but realizing how doomed Ryou is, it feels like...
It feels so frustratingly pointless.]
I am the one who's worked and sacrificed for us. For you. You've worked to get stronger, you've tried, but...the plan's always mine. The sacrifices are always mine!
And you do need me around, because the powers I get work, and yours get taken away! My advantages stick, and you're never allowed to have them! Except I'll always end up separated from you, and there's nothing I can do to fight the part of this that's not you, that looks like bad luck but is malice!!
It's not your fault you can't hold onto an advantage when it matters most! It was taken away from you! And it's not your fault that I'm the kind of person who sacrifices his lives, his good name, his friends, to try to save you from what you're afraid of! I gave those things willingly...
...but I was so foolish to do it. I was so foolish, to not recognize that it was just --
[Here, the tears threaten again, even as Atem's molars grind.]
-- generating more suffering, for nothing, I --
-- how much I cared about you --
-- was used -- !
[This goddamn place. Atem wants to rip it apart with his bare hands. He wants to roar, scream, tear his clothes, tear up everything, because all of it is meaningless, meaningless, meaningless--!
Hoarsely, and panicky:]
I should have gone in alone. I should have let him hurt me, and just me, until I could use my ability, which works, to turn the tables on him. That way, our friends wouldn't have his attention now, for protection that you can't even count on.
[What a humiliating mistake. Ryslig got him, again...! Through his treasured relationship!]