Oh, I don't know for sure if he did it on purpose. But whatever the story there was, the humans became very emboldened.
I don't remember how I got in a cage. I was arguing with my--with the Ring-Spirit, we were practically at each other's throats for a while, but then I think I got away from that situation, because for how awful he is, he would never have stood for me being caught.
[A sigh. Ryou doesn't like this part of the story anymore than what preceded it.]
They smothered our powers with those things. Mine was a collar. All I could think of was how angry it made me that I couldn't eat anything. Of course they had to put me in a cage by myself, or I would have eaten whatever unlucky soul was stuck in with me.
[He closes his eyes, remembering. He was absolutely devoid of any of his humanity. He just wanted to feed and being unable to sate that emptiness for even a second had him climbing the walls. Literally.]
The punitive measures taken upon us for not performing were pretty terrible. I remember being enraged, climbing the walls, trying to reach the humans, biting at the bars...it wasn't me. It wasn't! I just...could not stop myself.
When the restraints inevitably failed, all of us had been driven to the brink of madness by whatever had been affecting us and we exacted unyielding revenge on the humans. The captors. The audience. Even each other.
[Ryou looks down. He can't look Atem in the eye so he focuses on his clawed feet, one placed over the other and gripping hard, pricking at his solid form enough to hurt and almost draw blood.
He wasn't trying to hurt himself, but by god if he did, he deserved it.]
When all that ravenous hunger and anger faded away, all I was left with was the realization that I really was a monster now. This place does it to you. And it rewards monsters for being monsters. After all, look at Javert. He's a priest of the Fog God. He told me on the network that whatever I did was just a part of who I really was in the end, and that I was an idiot for thinking otherwise. He's never even met me and that's all he thinks of me. Of all of us.
[He winces. There's blood under his talons now, and under his claws where they'd pricked into his knees.]
But he's wrong.
[Right? That's what all this was about, right? Atem believed in him, that he wasn't that beast. Or maybe, now that he'd heard the entire tale, he might change his mind after all.
Ryou's heartbeat quickens at the thought that it was more than Atem could bear of him. Maybe he'd decide Ryou needed to atone properly for it. Hell, he might make up a game for it and Ryou would deserve it all, how many lives had he left strewn in his wake?
He was...trying so hard to remain positive after their last interaction, but the darkness is creeping slowly back in at the edges.]
cw; self-harm, though unintentional
I don't remember how I got in a cage. I was arguing with my--with the Ring-Spirit, we were practically at each other's throats for a while, but then I think I got away from that situation, because for how awful he is, he would never have stood for me being caught.
[A sigh. Ryou doesn't like this part of the story anymore than what preceded it.]
They smothered our powers with those things. Mine was a collar. All I could think of was how angry it made me that I couldn't eat anything. Of course they had to put me in a cage by myself, or I would have eaten whatever unlucky soul was stuck in with me.
[He closes his eyes, remembering. He was absolutely devoid of any of his humanity. He just wanted to feed and being unable to sate that emptiness for even a second had him climbing the walls. Literally.]
The punitive measures taken upon us for not performing were pretty terrible. I remember being enraged, climbing the walls, trying to reach the humans, biting at the bars...it wasn't me. It wasn't! I just...could not stop myself.
When the restraints inevitably failed, all of us had been driven to the brink of madness by whatever had been affecting us and we exacted unyielding revenge on the humans. The captors. The audience. Even each other.
[Ryou looks down. He can't look Atem in the eye so he focuses on his clawed feet, one placed over the other and gripping hard, pricking at his solid form enough to hurt and almost draw blood.
He wasn't trying to hurt himself, but by god if he did, he deserved it.]
When all that ravenous hunger and anger faded away, all I was left with was the realization that I really was a monster now. This place does it to you. And it rewards monsters for being monsters. After all, look at Javert. He's a priest of the Fog God. He told me on the network that whatever I did was just a part of who I really was in the end, and that I was an idiot for thinking otherwise. He's never even met me and that's all he thinks of me. Of all of us.
[He winces. There's blood under his talons now, and under his claws where they'd pricked into his knees.]
But he's wrong.
[Right? That's what all this was about, right? Atem believed in him, that he wasn't that beast. Or maybe, now that he'd heard the entire tale, he might change his mind after all.
Ryou's heartbeat quickens at the thought that it was more than Atem could bear of him. Maybe he'd decide Ryou needed to atone properly for it. Hell, he might make up a game for it and Ryou would deserve it all, how many lives had he left strewn in his wake?
He was...trying so hard to remain positive after their last interaction, but the darkness is creeping slowly back in at the edges.]