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[Atem doesn't want to pull his eyecaps off. He doesn't want to take off a very thick outer layer of what feels for all the world like cornea, that his mammal memories and instincts is telling him shouldn't separate from the rest of his eye.

But he feels a hand on his face, warm and careful, and Atem's too-rapid breathing slows. Underneath the eye-caps, like a leviathan passing below a clear layer of Arctic ice, his irises go to Ryou.

Atem doesn't think Ryou is sharing his pain right now, he doesn't see his own anxiety reflected in Ryou's face, and he trusts Ryou will ask first, but...the effect isn't all that different.]

I'll do it.

[But Atem's left hand comes up to where Ryou's is, on his face, and takes it, and grips it. He'd rather do this one-handed with Ryou's hand in his than use two hands alone.

He's not finding a way to get through this alone, this time. This isn't as bad as dying, isn't as bad as the fog form, because he's not by himself.

Atem's glad about that.

He sets his jaw and starts to peel it up. Atem doesn't want to do this. But did he want to stick his fingers in the scorpion sneaker? Did he want to bring a knife down towards his own hand, hoping it cut only the stack of bills instead of delicate tendon and bone? He'd chosen to put himself into those situations, that was the difference, but he's in this one now, and he'll have to find the strength of will to do it. Up, over the chin, over the nostrils, up the cheeks...]

Edited 2021-09-08 12:08 (UTC)

[Ryou nods, the corner of his mouth twitching in the ghost of a smile, because he feels as if he's serving a purpose in helping Atem gain the confidence for this. That's crazy to think, since Atem is fully capable of being confident on his own. But something about the way his eye refocuses under the pasty-looking scale over it...it makes him feel like he's part of the solution.

He watches silently, slowly adjusting his own fingers in Atem's grip so that they're holding hands more comfortably. Or as comfortably as possible, given that Ryou's hands are massive in comparison.

Come on, let him see those lovely eyes of yours.]

[When he gets close to the eyecaps, Atem's expression doesn't change -- it's just a set jaw and pressed lips -- but the hand in Ryou's tenses, grips harder.

He wants to blink, so much. He wants to close his eyes, but he can't. Instead, Atem keeps pulling. He grips Ryou's hand tight, and he feels the cloudy scales separate from his eyes, lifting up and away, without pulling either eye from his socket, and with one more pull, Atem brings the whole layer of skin up over his forehead and squeezes his eyes shut for a long moment. He's breathing quietly, but quick, and he lets go of Ryou's hand to drag his own down over his face, over the new skin, so sensitive it feels raw. All his snakes are huddled with one another, pulled in tight to his scalp, and Atem breathes out a long, slow sigh.]

I'm never being a snake for more than a month again.

Edited 2021-09-08 16:56 (UTC)

[As soon as Atem's face is pretty much freed of the shed, Ryou lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Snakes do this all the time. They don't lose their eyes or anything and yet he still had a Small Fear that something would maybe go wrong, that perhaps it wasn't humid enough in here and the eye caps would stick, and then he'd...have to find a set of tweezers--

Nope. He likes weird stuff and he'd totally do it. He'd pull Atem's eye caps off if the shed tore BUT...even Ryou would be freaked out about hurting someone he cares about if he's not careful.]

Ah...I'm glad you got them off.

[His thumb strokes the back of Atem's hand. He doesn't at all blame him for how hard he had been gripping. That was rough.]

Hah...well this place has a terrible sense of humor, so I'm sure if you had Mana change you again, there would be some catch. Apparently you have to be very specific. But...aside from your hair, you've gotten through the hardest part.

And..um. It's nice to see your eyes again.

[Is...is that what you say to someone who just had to take off his face skin to make him feel better??? He's trying!]

[It's probably thanks to Ryou's care, Atem thinks, through the tuning-fork ringing in his brain, through the too-recent memories of his experience in the dollhouse. It's probably because he was kept warm and moist, that this isn't going worse, that neither of them had to get close to eyes that can't close with fingers that end in claws.

But, the touch to his hand -- it pulls Atem further away from things that have happened to him before, that he's comparing to what's happening to him now. That's a lot of what Ryou does for him: Ryou gets him out of his own head, calms him down, and from a calmer place, Atem does better, is capable of more.

It's nice to see your eyes again does the same thing. The ringing quiets, because how's Atem supposed to stay in bad memories when someone he likes a lot is being this sweet? He can't help the flush in the skin below his eyes any more than he can help the twitching of the muscles around his mouth, up into one of the dopey smiles he gets sometimes.]

Can you help me with the next part? I won't be able to see it, and I can't control the snakes...I don't know how easily this will go.

It'll be fine. You might not be able to control them, but I believe we can coax them out if we're gentle about it. And if they protest over it, then I'll find something they can shed out from the front against. Maybe they still have instincts for it, even if they've never shed before.

[Ryou reluctantly pulls his hand away from Atem's, if only to reach for the seam of the shed and gently push it upward from Atem's forehead. He's just testing for now, to see if the snakes mind the backwards removal or not. He's fond of them and he doesn't intend to cause them any more distress than he would try to cause Atem.

If they don't like being shed from the bottom up, then he has other ideas! But he's not being forced to consider them quite yet, so...]

As much as I miss your hair as it normally is...I think I may well miss the snakes too. The fact that they are not able to be controlled is charming. They're just showing how you feel, after all.

[Compliments and references seem to make the snakes happy too! So he'll bribe them.]

They're a tell, [he says, with a note of complaint, as the closest snakes look down at the lifted shed in confusion. What's happening?] It's impossible to hide anything for long...I haven't been able to gamble at all...

[Most of Atem's lower body still feels uncomfortable and confined. But having it off his arms and upper chest and face means breathing's easier, seeing's easier -- the snakes are starting to uncoil. It's not pleasant -- it's like being in a very, very tight hat! But the pulling-up from his forehead promises relief.

One of the yellow snakes figures it out, and starts to scoot himself back out of the shed. It senses freedom, spots a snopportunity, and decides to take it!]

Maybe they are. But I didn't think it was so bad.

[Aww look at that, the blonde snake figured it out first! Very good, Ryou lets him wiggle out of the shed carefully so that the scales don't lift uncomfortably. His fingers start to wiggle under the shed, threading between the snakes and pushing up coaxingly. They have to decide to do this. Otherwise he runs the risk of damaging their scales.

Follow your buddy, guys.]

Wearing your emotions more openly can be a benefit too, Atem. It means your friends know that your motives are genuine. Maybe you can't gamble, but at least you were able to take a break. And at least people like Riley and I can tell just how much you care about us.

[He doesn't mean to bring up anything unhappy. But...he did notice how very attracted to Riley the snakes were at the investigation meeting. Atem feels a very honest, deep concern for her well-being. It's admirable. Ryou doesn't think the snakes tipping his hand in that case was so bad.]

Besides...in a few days, you'll be able to poker-face again like normal. No lasting harm done.

[Atem's eyes, newly freed and able to use their eyelids, go half-closed as the skin's pulled up and his snakes start to pull free in an uneven, slow, wiggly little wave, responding to Atem's desire to get out from under the shed skin-layer. It feels nice, pulling free, having warm shade-fingers between the snakes...like peeling off uncomfortable shoes at the end of a long day and having hands in your hair at the same time. It's the most relaxed expression Atem's worn in a full week. And that's why the petulance in his voice is muted, without any true hurt, when he replies:]

I'd have thought that was obvious, from the way I act around you both...

[Is he not making it clear that he loves them? Is...is willingness to punish and/or kill for their sakes coming off as insincere? Maybe it does, in a world where almost everybody is at least a little bit of a killer. But, really, it takes snakes he can't control to signal that he cares?]

Should I be making my feelings clearer, when it comes to my friends?

[Ryou's fingers twitch uncertainly, but he does to back to pushing the shed up. He wishes so much he had another arm, another hand, so that he could stroke Atem's cheek and let him know that Ryou was sorry...because he didn't intend to make it sound that way.]

No, no. You don't have to, it's just--I'm sorry, it isn't you. I promise. It's...just that you usually have a different way of expressing how much you care. There's a difference between your hair looking very interested in what's going on with something...which is, might I add, very um. Cute...but it's the difference between that and righteous fury. That is a different expression of care and sincerity.

But it was out of line for me to act like the snakes make a difference, given how you've treated me thus far. Especially lately, with the whole...you know. A-asking out thing. You have done more than enough to show people that you care.

...The snakes are just adorable, really.

[The snakes that are free look at Ryou! The ones that are not free try to wiggle free faster, so they can look at Ryou! Atem looks down.]

No, you might be right. It is different...it's not what I'm used to.

I've never thought of myself as being dishonest about my feelings, not with my friends...but it's true that I'm better at doing things for them, than...well, much of anything else! That was...how it was, for a long time...

[He's thinking about how he dies at the end. He's thinking about how he didn't really spend that much time talking with Jounouchi and Honda and Anzu, even though they all matter to him so, so much...instead, he came out, he fought for them, and he let Yugi take over.

Yugi.

It feels like...there's something Yugi needs, but isn't getting from him. Atem isn't sure what it is. The problem that needs solving is getting Yugi and Ryou out of Ryslig, and Atem cares so much about that, he's thrown himself into it every chance he's gotten that he feels has any kind of real shot at success...

That's. That's enough, isn't it? That's how he shows he cares, that Yugi matters, that Yugi's important, by making time to fight for him?

That's what he always did before.

So, why does Atem feel regret? It feels like...it feels almost like he did when suddenly, there were only minutes before Kaiba would be gone, and Atem realized that despite spending the better part of two weeks together and exchanging many, many words, all of the real things were still unsaid, and there was no time left to say any of them.

Is there something wrong with how he's been going about this? Is it like how lonely he felt when he saw Horatio draw him and Ryou and Celeste and himself around a table, and Atem realized he hadn't been at that table in months? Is he going to step through that door to the afterlife without a full heart? Finish the game, and leave?

The snakes are moving the way they do when Atem's thinking about lonely things, which is, they look for something to hide under. The close ones stick their heads under Ryou's hands; others do something similar with the shed, sticking their faces under the layer of snakeskin. They're getting in their own way, here, stalling out the shed's progress. It's a metaphor, but it's also very literal, and inconvenient, whoops.]

Edited 2021-09-10 00:09 (UTC)

[Ryou can't pretend that he doesn't use the snakes as a barometer for Atem's feelings at all, not when they act like this. But he hadn't meant to make Atem question himself like this, and it shows in the way that his brows draw together, his mouth pulls into a sad line, and although he's still assisting the snakes with their shed as best he can, he can't just focus on that anymore.

They're hiding. And they're doing so for a reason. Ryou wants to find a way to fix it but he's not sure how...]

You aren't someone I'd think of as being dishonest. I know you don't like lying, Atem. Even down to the games you make, you make sure that you are telling the truth and letting people impale themselves on their own sword.

I get it.

But your friends don't just appreciate you because of the things you do for them. And...m-maybe this place is awful and painful, and we suffer here...but you should know that at least I value you as a companion. Sometimes it's nice to sit together, play a game, talk about our friends, and not have to do anything.

No fighting. No fixing. Just you and me talking.

[Ryou shuffles closer, using his clawed foot to gain purchase so he can lean in and kiss Atem on the forehead, just below the crumpled up disaster of a shed.]

I think that's enough for everyone. You don't have to fight for everyone all the time. You don't have to stop either, just remember that we like you even when you're just relaxing.

[..."Relaxing" and "Atem" are two words that don't generally go together, but if Ryou has to remind him about taking time to breathe and not be busy, he's going to do it. Right in the middle of this shed.]

[It matters so much to Atem that Ryou understands what he's going for, with the games. That it's murder, sure, but the people who participate are complicit....but that's not what Atem's thinking about right now.]

You've been...telling me that nearly from the beginning, haven't you?

[Atem's torn. On the one hand...he doesn't like putting time aside, when there's something Yugi needs, that he needs to work on. But on the other, as his forehead is kissed...he feels very warm.]

I love you.

I should tell you that more, shouldn't I?

[He tilts his face up, and his snake half pushes the rest of him the rest of the way. He's going to kiss Ryou on the mouth. When he breaks away, red slit-pupilled eyes meet glowing ones--]

I love you.

[He doesn't try to dislodge Ryou's hands from the separating skin layer, but Atem does plant his own hands on either side of Ryou's waist, and his face is up close to Ryou's, and the snakes are hiding less and reaching for Ryou more -- which gets them out of the way of the ones that haven't come out yet. The shed starts to smooth out, as serpentine eyes give a very doe-eyed look.]

[Ryou nods to the first statement, because yes. He has been trying to tell Atem that he needs to breathe. If you overthink your moves, plan so far out ahead and try to regiment your entire experience...you forget to pick up what you've lost.

Then...whatever you were trying to do goes to waste.

Ah, but before he can verbalize that, he's rendered silent by three little words that get his heart beating faster, make his face heat up something awful. He doesn't know how to respond to that, at all...

Then he doesn't have to because they're kissing, and the only important thing was to curl his fingers against Atem's scalp, not hard enough to scratch but just to have something grounding him there.

Once they part, and Atem says it again, Ryou lets out a soft little heh, his ears twitching a little.]

I...I love you too.

[It feels so nice to say it. He's put his whole soul into this, without even realizing. He can feel the snakes wriggling between his fingers, but it takes him a moment to refocus. It's only when some of the yellow snakes slip into his line of sight that the affectionate look on his face seems to shift.]

It's time to get you out of this, once and for all, now.

[He pushes upward, helping the remaining hairsnakes free themselves. But even as he works, he can't stop himself from leaning in again, for another quick kiss.]

[The second kiss continues the process from before -- the relaxing, the wanting-to-be-out-of-the-shed that the first kiss started. Atem doesn't want his time in this dimension to end without having kissed Ryou silly? Without bringing clawed, freed hands up into Ryou's incredibly cute short haircut and burying them there? Without experiencing all of this?]

Yes.

[The last third of his snakes are pulling themselves free as Atem lets out a long, slow breath with that word, his face still way too close to Ryou's. He brings his snake half around, catching on some of the branches and terrarium paraphernalia Giorno left, until the skin tears, a few feet below the waist. He needs it off, needs to be out of it, and he starts pulling most of himself out, without breaking eye contact -- turning the shed inside-out like a 15-foot stocking. There's still the last of his hair shed, and some of his back, and a bit around his chest and waist that needs to come off, but most of it, as long as he doesn't move too fast, he should be able to get--he needs it off, once and for all, like Ryou said--]

[As far as Ryou's concerned, everything Atem's doing is not only acceptable, it's very wanted. He's glad the snakes are mostly freed from the shed, because at any moment, once he's able to bring his hand down, it's definitely going to Atem's shoulder.

There's no reason why Atem's confirmation should have him shivering a little. Of course...of course he wants to be out of the shed. But he's so close, the word chased by that slow exhale...and Ryou's just a silly, needy little romantic but damn, does it take every bit of his self-control not to kiss Atem for a third time. Instead, he holds the remaining bit of hair shed up until the last snake pops free, then flicks it aside.

He doesn't have anything to say at all, he just presses his face into Atem's neck. He doesn't even want to see the rest of the shed come off anymore. Distantly, he recalls that he had wanted to watch the process...but right now it's not important.

Letting his fingers latch onto Atem's shoulder loosely while he pretty much nuzzles him is the only remaining priority in mind.]

[The atmosphere's changed from anxious and tense to something else; Atem doesn't question it. There's an ebb and flow to life, an ebb and flow to the pace of a game, and now that he can see, and his snakes can see, and the top part of his shed is shrugged off and cast aside and the bottom part is peeling off slowly but steadily, rustling quietly a few feet away -- the end's in sight, and Atem is incredibly content to let Ryou press his face into new skin. It's so new it feels jumpy -- like all contact is dialed up in intensity, Atem's pretty sure he could feel a pin drop in the next room -- but Ryou's face and hair and breath are all soft, and it's a lot, but it's nice.

...

Really nice, actually. He might have to be careful, he thinks, as more old-scales peel away from new scales, and his arms slip around Ryou in something closer to a hug, and there is gentle little-snake investigation of Ryou's hair wherever they and their little tongues can reach. He sighs, contentedly, as some of his freed snake half gets pulled underneath him, across Ryou's knees. Atem wants to be holding Ryou right now, he's missed feeling up to it for the last, what, week? Terrible, to absolutely hate the idea of touch 95% of the time the whole first week you have a boyfriend, and a cleared, vibrant, exfoliated loop of snake tail curls around behind Ryou. I've got to be careful, he thinks, distantly, but does absolutely nothing to stop himself.

When the last of the tail-shed goes, pulling over the uneven, stumpy, bony protrusion at the end, there's a rattly little sound, not unlike a cup of dice, if dice were made of bone.

The rattle's back!]

Edited 2021-09-11 14:47 (UTC)

[The feel of the snakes in his hair makes Ryou do an involuntary full-body wiggle. They tickle, but it's pretty clear that he's not bothered by it because of the way his lips pull into a smile, and he's in contact with Atem to the point where he can probably feel it.

But Ryou doesn't move away or do much more than hum a little when Atem starts to coil around him. The shift of the snake half across his knees, against his back...feels nice. Even through his clothes, he feels like he can identify every single scale, the power of the musculature that makes up the snake tail just as comforting as the arms wrapped around him.

Atem might not be able to regulate his temperature, but that doesn't stop him from feeling warm to Ryou.

When he hears the rattling, he's curious. Curious enough to pull away, but not before impulsively kissing Atem's neck. He doesn't do it for any big reason other than he's here and he can.

But then he pulls back, and he seeks out the sound of the noise.]

Hmm! Your rattle...haha, well. Better late than never, I suppose.

[kiss nice!! touch nice!! but Atem's got a bad habit of focusing on things besides that, so when Ryou brings up the regrown rattle:]

I suppose! It was actually less trouble not to have it.

[He doesn't remove himself from the lap he's slithered into, but he does bring his tail around into their field of vision. Atem lifts the little bone-sistrum and gives it a shake! It doesn't mesmerize monsters, but it sent humans he slithered past into a half-religious-half-rock-concert frenzy, and that was awkward.]

If I go out before I change back, I'll have to wrap it up again...

[But he'll worry about that later, if he even goes out. There's only one section of the shed left, stretching from under his arms to a few feet below where the snakescales start, and Atem looks at it appraisingly.]

Okay. Time to cut the rest off.

[He's gonna go at it with claws, make a tear, and peel it off like dried glue, unless Ryou steps in with a different idea.]

[Maybe the sistrum rattle wasn't effective on monsters, but it was interesting to Ryou. He hadn't had much time to study it before Atem had cut it off in the first place. There had been far too much going on for him to get a good look and now that he has, it's definitely intriguing to see a bone rattle just chilling out there.

It even makes a sound that would be conducive to music! Biological instrument!]

I suppose it's for the best that you do...

[Ryou would have liked to see it in action, but mesmerizing a human probably wouldn't be a good idea at the best of times, even if you have to eat them.

At any rate, when Atem starts to peel off what remained of his shed, Ryou lets him do it on his own. They're at the end of it now, and he's fairly certain Atem can manage that last piece. If not, then of course Ryou will help him!

For the moment though, he kind of...glances at the mess of inside-out old snakeskin all over the apartment and seems to consider something.]

So...What are we going to do with all this skin? Do you...want to keep it?

[For memories?

...Ryou wants to keep it.]

[Offfff it goes! Atem unwinds it from himself like fragile clingwrap, if clingwrap were like, fused-to-your-skin shapewear. God. He wouldn't know to make the comparison, but it feels very, very good, to be free of it; he can breathe freely for the first time in a week. Atem feels raw, still; all his nerve endings are a little tingly, since they're not dulled to touch at all yet. He's been snexfoliated.

(He's also technically naked, but he's spent the last two months losing the will to wear actual clothing bit by bit. This is the logical conclusion.)

But his attention is drawn from his own body, to Ryou, to the piles of snakeskin around them. Ugh, his memories of this time were terrible.]

I don't.

I say we burn it.

[If Ryou cared that Atem was naked at all, he's not showing it. Something about half your body being a snake kind of removes the awkwardness there. More importantly...he wants to burn all the snakeskin? Oh no!]

It...seems a waste, but I understand...

[SO THEN WHY DOES HE LOOK DISAPPOINTED IF HE UNDERSTANDS?]

Though...if it doesn't make much difference to you, might I keep a few of your hair-snakes' shed skin? Just a few, not all of them. I feel as if it would be a reminder of them, rather than the actual ordeal that the rest of this represents. And then yes, if you really want to burn it, I support you.

...Is that okay?

[He won't do it if it's not okay. He respects your wishes, Atem.

~~He's going to filch your eye caps though.]~~

[He thinks about that, coiling the end of his tail back around the two of them. The snakes' attention is split between Ryou and each other. A couple hair-snake sheds won't be too hard to store...and Ryou likes them...]

I guess that'd be all right...but, if they start to smell bad, they've got to go!

[He gestures to the piles and piles of skin around them.]

I can't think of any good use to put this to, can you?

[No, really, he's asking. The burning is personal, but negotiable if Ryou has an idea Atem thinks is better.]

[Ryou is aware of the tail wrapped around him, and definitely doesn't mind it. Being wrapped up in Atem is never a problem, especially when his scales are all shiny and new. Heh!

...Focus. He's been asked something.]

Of course! I wouldn't keep something that would make the house smell unpleasant, you don't need to worry. As for good uses...I'm sure some apothecary or business would buy a shed naga skin for their own purposes. Perhaps we could trade it for something valuable.

...But again, there's no need for something so complex if you'd rather get rid of it quickly.

[He's pretty sure monster parts should be worth something. Then again...maybe naga shed is common. How often do nagas shed? Hmm...]

[Trading or selling it like a rare item in a role-playing game...it's true it's possible they could sell part of it to a collector...it could make them money.

But selling it to a pharmacy makes Atem think about snake-oil cures, the kinds of things people put into traditional medicines. He'd have to vet the business, so that parts of him wouldn't be used to take advantage of trusting Bavanites.

...it also makes him think of the kinds of people who want to be involved with monsters. The people who approached him when he was a vampire, sweating and heart-fluttering, offering to let him bite them. He's not sure he wants someone sticking their face into his old skin like a girl's panties, or...or climbing inside it for weird reasons.

He shudders; Ryou will feel it.]

Maybe we could. I know people do buy monster parts! But we'll have to be careful who it goes to...

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.

even moooore eye stuff, with a hand stuff bonus round

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eyeeeeeee stufffffff

still more eye stuff. if this was an actual visual i'd be dying

this. this should be the last of it.

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mf'er i thought i hit send...

100% done that pfff

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cw monster fetishists being gross