̷A̷t̷e̷m̷ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
knifemonopoly) wrote2021-02-05 06:28 pm
knifemonopoly) wrote2021-02-05 06:28 pm
Entry tags:
IC inbox
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 *** PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1> If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message. | ||||
no subject
In here!
[He calls without a thought to the questions that might follow: where's Lila? What happened? And so on. But he isn't thinking about that right now. It's been months since he's seen Atem.
Not since his nameday party.]
Don't worry, I may be naked but you can't see anything!
no subject
Nagito's name wasn't in the graveyard. That meant he was somewhere in Ryslig...either sleeping, or wandering, or waiting to be revived.
Atem hadn't been sure what had been happening to him. He'd had so much else going on in late June and July and August -- he'd had to trust that Nagito's other friends were on it, because wasn't that what friends were for? To share cares and worries, to help when someone was in trouble? He was never the closest one to Nagito, so...
So...
So, Atem goes in the direction of the heartbeat. He's over seven feet, he's an emaciated corpse with a bat-head, he sounds like himself but also like he's been gargling gravel, and he does not give a single damn as he yanks the bathroom door open and takes in the scene.
He'll ask where Lila is in a minute. Right now, his scan is for two things: physical injuries and immediate emotional trauma. He sees the skeletal tail. And, as he approaches, he'll spot any flinches; any real fear will be enough to stop him near the edge of the bathtub. But, if he doesn't--]
Like I'd be worried about that at a time like this...!
[--then Atem's going to take big, ponderous, Hulk-steps toward the bathtub, and drop down to a one-knee crouch, and wrap dumb mummy arms around this stupid seaweed-seahorse's shoulders. Asking him to care whether he can see Komaeda's mer-junk right now or not is so far from relevant. Not when it's been three months. Not when it's the same captor as Steve.]
no subject
Then there's the tail, likely the biggest offender, and hurt like hell when he first submerged himself. It's hardly comparable to its full length, which almost gives him the appearance of missing his legs from mid-shin down. The fleshy end of it is still healing as best it can with vertebrae jutting out from it, but otherwise it's the story of a once-gruesome tale.]
Oh, Atem-kun... you're... [hideous he wants to say, but instead he pulls his normal, indolent smile as he finishes:] pretty monstrous, huh?
[That earns a laugh, and apparently the go-ahead for a hug, as he quickly finds himself wrapped up in those arms in a way even Lila's possession couldn't manage. To be held, and at once to feel life within him, is a blissful contrast to the loneliness he's felt himself drowning in for what seems like months.
It's a hug that, as Atem will feel, he relaxes into.]
Ah... and here I thought someone as forgettable as me wouldn't be missed this much!
[He laughs again, and yet, he clings just as much to Atem and his weird furry bat-head.]
no subject
Komaeda's mouth is saying one thing, but the way he hugs back is saying another, and Atem responds to them both. His grip tightens, but carefully; monster strength's a bitch and he doesn't want to hurt. Big leathery bat-wings, normally held in with the thumb-claws hooked over the shoulders, flare and lift -- it looks for all the world like the hover-y gesture you make with a hand when you want to reach for something but won't, telegraphing the push-pull of the restraint Atem's trying to exercise. And he says, without letting go:]
I never forgot you!
[He'd been looking, while he was out with Yugi, digging into possible main-quest storylines, comparing entry points. They'd been looking for a lot of things, but for Atem, one of them was signs of Nagito. He'd asked the people they met in other cities, other towns, in case the guy had decided to work in another part of the game for some half-insane despair-fueled reason, if they'd seen a merperson who met Nagito's description...but none of them had. It didn't matter how awkward he'd left things -- while he was out, when he realized something was wrong, in between a roommate who was disconnecting from reality and a rival who had the best chance of getting out of all of them and dollhouses and trees and death-traps and wagers with killers, Atem had looked.
He pulls away, far enough to look at the guy if Atem angles his snout down, but his hands stay on Komaeda's shoulders.]
I knew you were still here, thanks to the graveyard...but there weren't any signs of you anywhere! I should give you a copy of the dead man's switch program, so that if something goes wrong, your friends know sooner...and maybe a bell.
[This is a joke. The curve in Atem's red eyes, the tone he takes, the twich up at the corner of his horrible toothy mouth, says as much.
They're gonna kill the guy who did this, Atem thinks.]
no subject
There's a comfort in that weight, that reminds him of the way Mukuro would curl up as they slept, her wolfish head resting heavily upon him. It reminds him of the same way his childhood dog would sleep with him in the warm rays of the afternoon sun; and still, he looks up at Atem with a perceived distance. A space between them that feels bigger than it actually is, simply because Komaeda refuses to understand his importance to others.
But, in light of those heavy feelings, his serene expression remains—warm with Atem's heartfelt admonishing.]
Ah... so you want to put a collar on me? [Komaeda asks, his tone wholly serious despite the sly grin that's spread across his sallow features.] I don't mind, but you should probably ask Lila-san first... she's the one who claims to own me.
[Just talking as if... you know, she isn't here.]
no subject
But something about the way Komaeda says it -- and follows it up with you should ask Lila first -- makes it feel like it mostly falls into the latter category, but not quite...
He feels some kind of way about Lila claiming to own Komaeda? Like a pet? But she clearly cares about him, a lot, and Komaeda doesn't seem to mind...
Red eyes widen. Thin edges of a bat-mouth press together. A sense of the situation that Atem never asked for rises in his mind like the miasma from the tunnels below Bavan, and Atem clamps down hard on all of that. Nope! No.
His expression only changes for a second or two. Then, Atem sidesteps. Change of subject. He glances over his shoulder, taking his clawed hands off of Komaeda and straightening his back, though he stays crouched near the floor, close to eye-level.]
Where is she, anyway? She was the one who sent the message, but I didn't see her when I came in...
no subject
And yet, he doesn't elaborate on anything further.]
Lila-san?
[Komaeda cocks his head, and then, with the space afforded to him, folds his hand to his chest. It still hurts to touch that Y-shaped wound, but the wince he gives is barely noticeable as his smile seems to shine all the brighter.]
She's right here! Ah, well, I suppose you wouldn't be able to tell given that she's inside me right now.
[A small pause, his head tilted to one side.]
We were taking a bath together, when you arrived. But don't worry! You didn't interrupt anything.
no subject
[People are all freaks, she thinks.]
[The transition from Komaeda to her is subtle except how it isn't. The voice doesn't change, but it pitches — moderately lower, in fact, because Lila's used to speaking with force anyway, to demanding her presence be acknowledged in every way — and sharpens. Sharp is the word for her expression, too. Haughty. She looks at Atem. Peels back lips from sharp teeth in a smile that almost matches the one Komaeda was already wearing, but not quite.]
[It's weird. Atem's never actually seen her with an articulated form, so in a way he has nothing to compare this to. On the other hand, there's no way such an expression could be worn by anyone else.]
Wow. Is this how you flirt with people who aren't me? That's hilarious. You can dish it out but you can't take it.
. . . Hey, Atem.
[Pointedly, she lifts his hands and puts them back in the water. Stop Touching The Ouch.]
You seriously don't know about collars? I don't get any of you people.
no subject
1. Atem is in complete agreement that it's a very good thing that Komaeda's feeling well enough to make nasty horny jokes, even if they throw Atem out of his comforting-a-kidnap-victim comfort-zone here.
2. "You didn't interrupt anything!" is the horny joke that broke the camel's back; Atem realizes he's being messed with, and his expression goes very flat. You asshole. Now he's got to keep Komaeda from getting to him; his manner turns very dry.
3. The shift in who's in the driver's seat is immediately clear. Atem's got an idea of what to expect already, but seeing it is different; this Atem hasn't even seen the Bakuras switch, and it's somehow both jarring and touching. A bit nostalgic, even. That's got to be...that has to be nice.
4. "You seriously don't know about collars?" confirms that it's a sex thing. Whoops. Sorry, Lila, he didn't mean to talk to your boyfriend about sex things.
5. And no, he doesn't know about collars, even though he wears one like the vast majority of the time, when he's got a human head and neck, because he's a filthy deviant in a lot of ways but not this specific one.
Her casual tone, though, makes Atem's face relax. She's not upset; he hasn't crossed a line or broken a rule. He shuts his eyes a moment, and his terrible toothy maw pulls into a smile.]
Miss Zacharov. Yo!
Thank you for inviting me over! It's good to see him again. No one else says weird things to me quite the same way...
[Atem doesn't usually make fun of people, but he does tease on occasion, and this is an occasion for it.]
no subject
So his face contorts, making an expression not even Nathan would wear, and as soon as Lila points out his flirting, a bluish tinge rises in his cheeks. Shame isn't something Komaeda feels in a normal sense, but even Lila will recognize that—within this shared body—a self-conscious embarrassment has overcome him.
She'll also feel how swiftly Komaeda pushes through those feelings, and how the smile that splits his face tightens uncomfortably.]
Ah... and he was so oblivious to it, too. Isn't that what makes Atem-kun cute?
[It's a masking statement that Atem has believed time and again, but Lila will be able to recognize its flimsy façade easily. It doesn't matter, he tells himself, as he continues on.]
I'm glad that you haven't gotten tired of me, yet. Sorry for teasing you.
no subject
[The feelings she gets from Komaeda are weird, disorientingly vulnerable considering how much control he had of the situation a moment ago. That's because of her, she thinks, and can't decide if that's good or bad; inside the privacy of their shared space, she can't rub her cheek against his jaw like she would normally, so instead she projects that same warmth and comfort and affection towards him, the next best thing.]
[There's still a part of her that wants to prod the new thing a little. She lets out a neutral sort of hum, neither denying nor acknowledging Atem-kun's cuteness, although privately she does kind of get it from this perspective. It doesn't bother her. She doesn't know why, and right now it doesn't matter.]
[She asked Atem for help because she needed it, and having him here is already helping. That's all she could ask for.]
[From that same emotional space, warm and comfortable and sweet, guileless in a way she never dares to be out in the world, she asks Komaeda: So do you want him to see you like that?]
He's not sorry, [she tells Atem in a stage whisper, rolling Komaeda's head slightly on his neck. Having muscles feels weird, but good.] Thanks for coming. I got a little—
[No. No, no, no. She's not comfortable enough to be that vulnerable. She goes to shift in the water before the pain reminds her to stop, hisses, and starts pulling the pain back into her again, away from Komaeda. Her eyes lock on Atem's, slightly glazed over with it in a way Komaeda's won't be when he takes over again.]
We're gonna have to talk later.
[About next steps. About what to do. About pounds of flesh. All of that. She knows he already knows.]
no subject
I'm glad he's feeling up to teasing at all! If it means Nagito's feeling better, then I can take it.
[This wall is up because last time Nagito'd managed to cut him -- not with the knife he was holding, but with words, to shake his security in one of his own choices, to point out an unjust thing he'd done. Atem's been bitten; he's shyer, and he doesn't know where they stand right now as far as their friendship goes.
But he does know that he and Lila are going to discuss what it will take to balance the scales; how much flesh will need to be put on the other side to bring it back to a level. Atem recognizes it in her voice as surely as he recognizes that the words come from her.
He doesn't press on the fact that they both know, that Lila was less than perfectly calm and composed when she called for help. He just nods.]
Later.
[He's absolutely not going to try to make Komaeda talk about his killer, or try to get a location out of him, when Komaeda's just gotten back. That can wait until it won't do more damage, until Komaeda's heart's had the chance to heal some.]
What can I do right now?
[What does he need? What does she need? If it's just company, that's fine, but he's here to help, and is taking requests.]
no subject
It's annoying, these insidious feelings. Bitterness claws through him, though it isn't for anything Lila's done.
It does, however, mean that Komaeda has suddenly flipped from embarrassed to irritated—turning away from the edge of the tub to sink below the water's surface until the gills at his neck flare out with relief. It doesn't matter, he finally responds, it's not like he likes me back, anyways.]
Ah... a book would be nice, [he speaks up, tone indolent but the shift in demeanor clearly haughty,] but it'd get ruined in the bath.
[It seems that with Lila managing his pain, Komaeda has returned to his familiar hot-and-cold routine.]
You say I'm not forgettable, but you talk like I'm not even here. It's pretty irritating. If you want to ask me questions, just do it.
no subject
[She's not sorry, so she doesn't say she is; but she feels that he doesn't like it, so she doesn't do it again. Simple as that.]
I don't want to ask you anything. You can say whatever you wanna say when you want to say it. We just missed you.
[. . . Hm.]
And we're pissed somebody hurt you this bad.
[You're mine, right? Nobody should hurt you but me.]
no subject
The person who did this....he's going to answer for it. We'll make sure of that. But I don't want you to think about anything bad until you're ready to!
[When it happened to Atem...he'd immediately thrown himself into revenge. He hadn't had any friends who'd lend him their bathtub. Maybe Noa might have, if Atem had asked, but instead, what Atem had asked for was a co-conspirator, a partner in crime, and Noa had given him that.
Vengeance was what Atem had needed. But it might not be what Komaeda needs. It's not what he's asking for, by coming here, by crawling into Lila's bathtub. And the way Adam had dealt with his own abduction was entirely different.]
Being reminded of what happened, when what you want is to get away from it...it can hurt really badly. I don't want to do that to you!
I'll get you a book, if that's what you want. It'll only get ruined if you're not careful, and most shades are telekinetic! Or we can talk about something else.
[A shrug of his bat-shoulders, his wings tucking back into place. This is a complicated, emotionally fraught situation...Atem figured the best thing to do would be to stay practical, not to add the big messy knot of what he's feeling to it -- he's not even sure he wants Komaeda to get a good look at it later, when things are calm. But keeping distant is the wrong move, too...]
I won't ignore you.
no subject
But still, he sits in this tub, tucked so carefully like a fragile doll between Lila and Atem's platitudes. Don't they know who he is? What he's done? He told Atem in more detail than he ever told Lila—about what sort of horrors he wrought on others, on himself. Still, they sit there, coddling him like he wasn't part of Ultimate Despair. Like he hadn't been expelled from Hope's Peak Academy. Like he hadn't been kidnapped by a serial killer. Like he hadn't watched his parents die right in front of his eyes.
It sickens him to be treated so sweetly, because he doesn't deserve it. He's killed people, razed buildings, ended the world with despair—all for the sake of hope. He doesn't deserve softness and kindness, even when he leans into it so desperately with a longing he couldn't put words to. Even when he turns his gaze to the water's surface and watches the shape of his reminder of the past ripple with waterdrops.]
It's not even the first time I've died here you know? And honestly, this time was less painful. [Before, not after, he thinks to himself. You're my comfort, he responds to Lila.] I didn't see him, but he's a doctor. He reminds me of the doctors from Hope's Peak Academy — the sort that do experiments. I think that's what he wanted all my body parts for.
[But he pauses that thought, lifting his left arm from beneath the water to present its gnarled stump.]
Too bad I removed this one myself! [A laugh, almost forced, before he sighs:] ah... Souda-kun is going to be mad that I lost his hardwork.
no subject
[She's so focused on pressing the whole of herself warm against him that she doesn't think about the details. Hasn't for a moment. Being this close is like resting under a comfortable weight, snuggling under a heavy blanket — only to have it ripped off when he starts talking about body parts.]
[In a flash she pulls back her control from his limbs, frightened by the instinct to flex a tail that's still growing back. The lights dim and flicker sullenly before she remembers to exhale.]
If he gets mad at you for that, I'll kick his ass.
[Her voice is sulky, a tone she doesn't really use unless she's with Komaeda. They're both brats. Sometimes at the same time.]
[Don't tell me it's less painful. You're in pain now. She doesn't even say this in the privacy of their shared space, but the emotion of it, sad and prickly and frustrated, isn't something she's able to hide.]
no subject
Like there's nothing to be done about doctors at a school who do experiments. Not from here.
Stay focused. One thing at a time. What can be done, from where Atem is, with the skills and leverage he's got?]
When we find him, I'll keep an eye out for it. Get it back, if I can.
And, about that...there's only one thing I want to ask. If you're not up to answering, then don't worry about it!
But...
...do you know where he is?
[Easy enough to answer with a yes or a no. No need to go into any more detail than Komaeda's up to. He doesn't need all of it right away, even a yes can wait. But, if Komaeda does know...then, maybe, they can get Fabius Bile before a third corpse shows up.]
no subject
His eyes, always distant, as if seeing past everything towards something unattainable, are decidedly fixed on Atem. The sleepless flesh that rims them is prominent, but he doesn't feel tired, not really. His head is too full, and not just because of Lila.]
Hmm... let me think.
[And he closes his eyes, deep-diving into memories that will play like a film reel for both he and Lila to watch. Sterile lights again, a scene of cadavers on other tables—but no Steve—the smell of formaldehyde and sterilizer thick in the air, with an underlying stench of decay.
Above, past the blinding light, is rafters. Rusted girder beams spiderwebbing beneath a metal roof with a few patched holes.]
Maybe some kind of warehouse... I think. I was drugged, so I don't quite remember.
no subject
Doesn't matter if you don't remember perfectly. Everything you know about the whole thing, start to finish, is usable. Anything you can give is good enough.
[In the privacy of their shared space, the emotion she exudes is that of a cat winding her way between his legs, rubbing against him, attentive and needy and reassuring. But there's steel underneath, a flexible but unbreakable spine.]
Would have been smarter to pull from more than one group. We have data points now. We can learn. He fucked up, like men do when they think they're the smartest one around.
[He fucked up by taking two people who matter to her. First Steve, who was bad enough, and now Komaeda. There's no room for a third strike. It's done. These people are hers to hurt or to care for, and she's made her decision which way the chips are going to fall.]
cw burnscars/burn metaphors/homicidal ideateon/gore ideation
Atem's glad he's in his fog form and not his usual one. He doesn't have to feel the stiffness and pull of the burn scars over his back when he moves, under his feet when he walks. He got used to them and barely felt them anymore before the two-month naga temp, but the few days before the fog where he was back in his own body had reminded him, again, of what had happened.
As if he'd needed reminding.
Dully, anger rises in him, familiar like an old enemy, augmented by the terrible smell that came in with this fog; it's anger he's lived with since they found Steve. Like a deep burn, it hurts worst on the edges, now: it's worn through the skin where it's strongest, damaging nerves and leaving it feeling sick and wrong but numb, but where he's less used to it, where new damage is being done, that's where the pain is.
Atem's mouth closes, and he gives a nod.]
Good thing I'm familiar with Bavan's warehouse district...I spent a lot of time there looking for Daniel, at the beginning of March.
[Before he had any friends besides Noa -- when all there was to do, when someone had gotten him, was to be sure he got them back. He'd spent his days in them, sometimes, trapped in the lightless corners, pacing back and forth, waiting for the sun to go down so he could keep looking.
He wants to go looking again now. He wants to tear out Fabius's heart with his own hands and drive big, unkind fog-form fangs into it. But even through the fog that's got him mad, that's got him hungry, he knows the culprit's a naga, and they're not just fast, they've got petrification powers. Going in by himself without knowing what he was in for would be handing Fabius more material for whatever he's doing. But...Atem can do some scouting, tomorrow night.]
We're going to get him. I don't want to talk too much about him. I came here to talk to you! But...I promise, he'll pay for what he's done.
[Atem really does think Fabuis Bile is trying to do something. He thinks monster parts are being used to power a portal, or something like it...it's so much like what happened to him...
...but there are two things you can do when a friend's been hurt, and that's hurt the attacker back, or stay with the friend. The first one's on the back burner. Atem can't get lost in bad memories and imagined situations where Komaeda's the one on the bloody sacrifice-table now, or fog-rage-fuled ones where a device designed in a workshop in Dyster cracks a worm-naga's ribcage and pulls it open, so a pale hand can reach in and pull the beating heart out. Game over.]