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...Maybe not. Heh.

[Ryou shakes his head. There's something charming about Atem when he's a demon. He's so carefree and unconcerned with what should or should not be. Ryou wonders if that's what Mana has in store for him?]

I wonder if at the end of it all, I'll turn into a demon? Since I'm not going to be repenting, right? H-hahaha.

[Another bite...and Ryou's glowing eyes affix to the horizon.]

I'm glad to shed this weakness though, no matter what happens. It's not good to be so vulnerable, to something someone can produce easily. So I'll bear whatever is in store.

And if you're here, then it's easy to do so. Because all I have to do is focus on you, right?

[...Okay he's still nervous though. His tail flips up out of the water and accidentally sends a few droplets towards his face, and Atem's. Oops.]

[Atem nods, agreeing wholeheartedly.]

Right...!

[Shades are tough monsters, and difficult to fight. If they can short out technology, they're almost invincible at night, unless you can produce powerful lights without electricity...

...and, if they don't spend so much time being a physical little goober that they have a tough time being a scary ghost.

Getting rid of the light weakness is a good call.

When the droplets splash, he covers his face a moment! Hey! But the nervous motion is clear, so Atem shifts so he's behind Ryou's shoulders, and wraps his arms around him from behind.]

I hope she does make you a demon. It's a good monster type -- strong abilities, and so on, you know -- but it's also fun...

...you can be the one to possess the teddy bear, yourself!

Ah!

[Ryou doesn't expect Atem to hug him from behind! It surprises him into making a little sound, but then...he relaxes, and listens. Maybe it's selfish, but he derives a great deal of comfort from Atem's close proximity.]

There you go, making sense again. Except that possessing a teddy bear, while fun, wouldn't be half as fun as possessing you. I enjoy it when we spend time together that way.

You complete me.

[...It's corny and he's not sorry. Come what may, with the slightly brightening sky, he's going to express how he feels. He knows he's selfish. He knows he's bad.

But Atem is here with him anyway...so for a minute more, he'll watch the horizon, and wait until the sun starts to peek over the invisible dividing line.]

[Atem shakes his head, as he brings his melonpan around to take another bite.]

You're a complete person, all on your own!

...

But it's a lot of fun, having our souls be that close.

[That sky sure is getting lighter. Whatever's about to happen is coming soon -- what's it going to be?]

You're too kind.

[Ryou's pointed ears wiggle a little though, showing that he's not entirely against what Atem's saying. It's not like he thinks he's half a person, but his heart...it's just as much Atem's as it is his own anymore.

He starts to draw his own melonpan closer, to take another bite, but then he starts to feel the irritation at his skin, from the sun. His fingers loosen their grip and Ryou drops the bread into the tub.]

N-nngh, sorry I...

[He trails off as the sun breaks the horizon completely, shining upon his exposed skin and making it hurt worse. His immediate reaction is to try and sink further into the tub, to hide from the light.

But then the water starts to heat up, rippling faintly from the bottom up. It's like waiting for your noodle water to start boiling--it begins with small, nearly imperceptible little bubbles at the bottom of the surface.]

A-Atem, let me go. Let me go, please...!!

[He knows demons can't be hurt by fire, but he can't risk the heat of the water being an issue, not without knowing. And it won't take long for it to start boiling, he can already feel the discomfort of the heat biting at what solid skin is exposed.]

What the hell--

[Atem does let go, his own half-eaten snack dropping onto the rooftop. He knows from personal experience (as in, inflicting it on a demon, not experiencing it himself) that boiling water hurts, that the immunity is only to fire.

But why is the water boiling? This much sunlight shouldn't be enough to boil water--!]

...

Mana.

[Atem's pointed fangs grind. Why does she have it out for Ryou, specifically? Why do the quests she gives to Ryou always hurt?]

Son of a--!

[Within half a minute, the water's at a full boil, and Ryou can't do anything but cry out in pain. He's not sure if it's the impossibly hot water that shouldn't have heated up so fast, or if it's the fact that the sun is eating away at his skin, but it hurts, as he expected it to.

But it's not just dissipating his shadowy form, even though he's long since lost control of his corporeality and has begun to thrash. Instead, it's causing the blackish gray to recede, to change into a more human skintone. It's a slow, subtle process punctuated by his agonized yells, but it's clear after a while that he's changing.

The water continues to boil, dissipating itself into steam a bit at a time. By the time a fourth of it has evaporated, Ryou no longer has claws, and his tail has become a tan color, with a tawny tip.

Something's happening, and he has no idea it is, or even if he did, what.]

Why...! Why does it have to hurt? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!

Hey, there...

[...Atem doesn't have to be a master gambler, practiced at reading tells, to understand that this is an upsetting subject. And he's run into enough people by now who have been upset by something he said, without him meaning to cause that upset, that it makes him pause. He's not going to be callous here.]

...listen, are you okay...? If this is hard to talk about, then I don't mind taking a break.

...

Since you're bleeding...

Bleeding....?

[ Oh. So she is. But that is insignificant, in the face of the blood and tears humanity and monsters alike have shed under Ryslig's mechanisms. She shakes her head. ]

This is nothing. Continue.

No...your feelings matter. If I'm explaining this in a way that's hard on you, then...there's no reason for that.

There's enough difficulty to go around without carelessly hurting other monsters.

It's not you who causes me pain.

[ He's going to be stubborn until she explains, isn't he. She takes out a handkerchief (...frilly....) and daubs the blood up, then folds it over on itself. ]

I dedicated my life.....to freeing humanity's souls from the yoke of subjugation. To a future where no one would suffer the humiliation of control. So I am not hurt.

[ She frowns. Her eyebrows triple in Power. ]

I'm angry.

[Ryou knows what he's doing is wrong. But after receiving all of the memories from his stage narrator...he couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't pretend he hadn't seen what he'd seen, or heard what the narrator heard.

He was, at the very least, good enough to make sure that Atem got home safe, was hydrated and fed...and he even leaves a reheatable bento on the counter with the same note he's going to leave in Atem's inbox, just to make sure that whether he eats first or checks the network first, he gets it.]

I'm going out for a while. Don't worry about me, I just need time to think.

I love you.

[No "I'll be back soon". No "We can talk later". Just that he's going out for a non-specific time.

And he does it while Atem's sleeping, because he can't, and his mind is buzzing. But...he doesn't apologize either. Atem must be so tired of hearing him apologize for everything...

Ryou's left his laptop and money pouch behind. He won't be reachable for at least a full 24 hours. But he does bum a laptop off of someone, somewhere, to check near the end of that day.

His guilt is too great to allow him to continue any longer than that.]

[He wakes up.

His narrator-memories...they're not the clearest. They've been coming back to him, slowly...he had to shake off the dehydration-delirium, the headaches and inability to think straight, before he could dig back in and re-sort his new, double set of memories.

...but when Ryou leaves, and leaves a note...

"I really am a weakness."

He remembers that.

Is that what Ryou's left to think about...? Why is it, Atem thinks, staring at the screen, that Ryou is so impossible to get through to? He's afraid of being a weakness and a burden, but he still won't take care of his own needs, and stretches himself too thin, so that Atem doesn't have a choice but to put him first, so that sometimes, it feels like he's holding Ryou together alone, without any help from the shade himself?]

Okay. I'll be here.

[--is what's waiting for Ryou when he boots up someone else's laptop.]

["I'll be here."

Ryou is left to think about that, for another few hours. It's too dark for him to come home, since he didn't take a flashlight with him. So in actuality, he returns some time around eight in the morning, a few hours after daybreak.

Mostly though...he's been thinking about how he can fix this. How could he make sure that he's not weighing Atem down anymore? And his mind cycles over, and over and over and over to his research, to the gem, to the only thing that would make him behave like a normal human instead of a base creature who can't do anything but be angry about something that happened half a month ago.

Something...that he could have prevented, if he was just better.

When Ryou arrives back to the apartment, he does so by flying to the roof. It's easier that way. He can take the stairwell down to the eighth floor, rather than ascending from the ground level.

He's politely quiet as he lets himself in, but he's not trying to hide himself either. That never works, does it? Atem always catches him. And if he does catch Ryou, because he's up later than usual, or slept earlier...he'll find Ryou looking pretty haggard and in need of a bath, a brush, and definitely a preen.

Someone's not used to living on the street like he'd done for some time. And worse, he's hungry. Still, although his first trip is the kitchen, Ryou pauses to wash his hands first. His fingernails seem unusually dirty, but there's only so much he can do about that right now.]

[When Ryou comes in, he'll see it when Tybolt comes ambling lazily out of...

...the bathroom?? What was he doing in there?]

[Even after his whole sojourn out into the cruel, cruel world, even after trying to figure out his thoughts, and how he might be less of a burden...

...Ryou still forgoes his own health. He ignores his hunger pangs, the discomfort of his own grubbiness...and he walks towards the bathroom to see why Tybolt had been hanging around there. Tybolt's not due a bath, and he generally doesn't linger around the bathroom like that.

He has an idea of what he'll find, but Ryou is still cautious as he pokes his head around the corner, both headwings flaring out a little in curiosity.]

[These are monster apartments. The tub is big, big enough to accommodate a naga tail, or a nephilim, or a kelpie if necessary.

It's certainly big enough for a modestly sized merperson to sleep in.

Which is exactly what Atem is doing. He's curled up on his side, one finned arm pillowing his head against the bottom of the bathtub. His gills wave gently as he breathes, as do his merperson head-fins. Little bubbles come out of his mouth every couple of seconds. Apparently, this was more comfortable than his own bed.]

[Ryou's expression softens, and he lets out a quiet sigh. Seeing Atem sleeping so peacefully makes his heart swell. He's glad there was rest to be had, underwater, in the comfort of a no doubt cool bathtub.

He chooses not to disturb Atem, and instead backs out, moving to the kitchen to properly forage. However long it takes Atem to wake up...Ryou doesn't leave this time. Even though he wonders whether he should. Atem looks terribly comfortable where he is, maybe...not having to worry about Ryou so much was better.

Ryou makes himself a cup of duck ramen, then, if he has time after eating, he'll brush out his hair. If Atem takes a while to get his rest in, once he wakes up, he'll probably find Ryou shirtless and preening his feathers. No seriously. It's an involved process, and he usually doesn't need to spend so much time on it, but...being outside and not taking care of himself means that the feather barbs are a disaster. So, he's using some store-bought moisturizing oil and doing his best.

His best means that his headwings, and almost one of his two primary wings are sorted out. Ryou doesn't envy harpies...but he kind of deserves this. It's his fault.]

[It's the light that makes Atem stir.

There's a light that's moving, not in the way it should if it's going through water...it comes in through his eyelids, and makes them blink open.

For a second, he wonders what time it is.

Then, he realizes the glow's from a nephilim. With a whoosh of displaced water, Atem sits up in the bathtub in time to catch Ryou mid-preen. The waves he made by sitting up so fast splash against the bathtub walls; it's impossible not to hear that he's awake.

(If Ryou shook out one of his feathers, Tybolt's absolutely playing with it.)]

You're back!

[And then, after taking in the state Ryou is in, Atem's face falls.]

...what happened?

[All of Ryou's wings puff up, and his halo flashes extra brightly as he hears the water splash. It definitely scares the shit out of him, because he didn't expect that.

(And Tybolt absolutely has a 2 foot feather to play with, but since Ryou's been flustered, another couple smaller ones drop from his primary wings and flutter downward. Have fun little buddy.)

Ryou straightens a little too fast, and the top of his halo scrapes at the ceiling, which saves him a knock on the head, thankfully...but showers bits of dried texture pattern from the ceiling into his hair, and the sink and ground as well.]

Ah. Y-yes, I'm...I didn't mean to wake you up but...yes. I'm back.

[He notices Atem's expression, and the dirty wing seems to compress itself, to try and hide. Not that it matters, his hair's brushed, but still in need of a wash, and he's very obviously in want of a bath.]

...I. Um. I needed some time to think. There's a lot that happened, and...I just...I flew, and I thought. S-sorry for the short notice, but. It looks like you were sleeping well. So that's good!

Edited (begone typo) 2022-07-20 22:54 (UTC)

[Oh, man. Happy day for Tybolt. He's thrilled. Feathers: pounced!

Atem, however, is less thrilled.]

You mean you were just...on your own, all this time?

[How bad is Bavan's pollution, anyway? Ryou's dirty, and that untouched wing is downright disheveled. And, he was out overnight, the light coming in through the little bathroom window is enough to confirm that...]

When you didn't come back last night, I thought you must have been waiting out the night with one of our friends.

[But. The wing's dirty. It looks like Ryou's been out on the streets, or staying in a place like the one he was in before Atem invited him to move in...]

M-mostly. I visited some people, but I didn't want to impose myself for the night. And I didn't bring anything with me, no money, no laptop...nothing. I wanted to be alone.

I wanted you to be able to be alone, too, I guess.

[He doesn't lie...but he also doesn't want to bring up the fact that he'd stayed in an abandoned building when the sun got away from him. Because as he said, he took nothing. That meant no flashlight either.]

Ryou...

...if you were having a difficult time, do you really think any of our friends would consider it an imposition?

[Damn it. Damn. He'd trusted that Ryou had found someone to stay with, and settled in for the night, without worrying too much -- and it turned out, Ryou had been somewhere uncomfortable, unable to sleep, most likely by himself...!

Because Ryou thinks his own needs don't matter. He doesn't take care of himself. And that's why it's made Atem feel like he has to care for him...!]

You're telling me you really wanted to be wherever it was you ended up? More than in an empty room at the Lucky, or Horatio's new place?

[Ryou's headwings lower, and he stares into the sink with a passive look in his eye as Atem continues to speak. He's done it again, hasn't he? He didn't...play this out right, and he'd made it harder for Atem.]

Look, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about it...and I lost track of time. Being awake all the time is offputting, and--and--

[No. This is an excuse. He's not doing that.]

When I saw the sun starting to go down, I panicked. I didn't want to be at the 38-8, or the Lucky. Maybe I could have asked Horatio to stay at his Academy building...but I didn't do that. I spent the day out trying to clear my head, and then I found somewhere...private to stay, and think some more.

I'm not hurt or anything...isn't that enough? I wouldn't want you to worry, so I didn't put myself in danger.

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.