I can't. I can't do it, anymore. It's gotten too dangerous, it'll hurt our friends, now, not just me, it's -- don't you understand? Don't you understand how much of myself I put -- into -- trying to help you take hits? Trying to -- reduce them -- because if I couldn't be there, I could give you the powers you needed to protect yourself...!
[He's babbling. Ryou might have to take hold of that cup, otherwise it's slipping from nerveless fingers and getting all over the floor. If it does, Atem doesn't notice. He pushes his feet up onto the bed, scooting back, away from Ryou, staring up at him with wild eyes.]
But it won't do any good! They were taken away, like -- like it was nothing, because --
[His posture's turned hunched-up -- his knees are close to his chest, and the arm that's not supporting him is wrapped around his shins. His posture is fearful, and the words spill out of him, disorganized and chaotic.]
-- because whoever's behind Ryslig wants you to hurt! That's the only explanation, for why the rules keep breaking in order for you, just you, to go through pain I leave you alone for! Because I trusted the rules would keep you safe, trusted powers I paid for by making a whole city suffer would be something you could count on here, but even though I trusted that you didn't need me, that you'd be all right if I wasn't protecting you, I have to know you'll be all right, that I don't have to stay for you to be okay --
[He's still shifting back. Recoiling. He doesn't want to be touched, right now. Color's starting to bloom high on his cheeks -- he's on the verge of tears.]
paaaanic, paranoia
Ryou, I...
[His voice turns tight, his throat closing up.]
I can't. I can't do it, anymore. It's gotten too dangerous, it'll hurt our friends, now, not just me, it's -- don't you understand? Don't you understand how much of myself I put -- into -- trying to help you take hits? Trying to -- reduce them -- because if I couldn't be there, I could give you the powers you needed to protect yourself...!
[He's babbling. Ryou might have to take hold of that cup, otherwise it's slipping from nerveless fingers and getting all over the floor. If it does, Atem doesn't notice. He pushes his feet up onto the bed, scooting back, away from Ryou, staring up at him with wild eyes.]
But it won't do any good! They were taken away, like -- like it was nothing, because --
[His posture's turned hunched-up -- his knees are close to his chest, and the arm that's not supporting him is wrapped around his shins. His posture is fearful, and the words spill out of him, disorganized and chaotic.]
-- because whoever's behind Ryslig wants you to hurt! That's the only explanation, for why the rules keep breaking in order for you, just you, to go through pain I leave you alone for! Because I trusted the rules would keep you safe, trusted powers I paid for by making a whole city suffer would be something you could count on here, but even though I trusted that you didn't need me, that you'd be all right if I wasn't protecting you, I have to know you'll be all right, that I don't have to stay for you to be okay --
[He's still shifting back. Recoiling. He doesn't want to be touched, right now. Color's starting to bloom high on his cheeks -- he's on the verge of tears.]