knifemonopoly | IC inbox

It never...

[ What. What. He doesn't understand. This is the most reassuring touch he's ever felt, the nicest things he's ever heard, and yet they're also horrifying. The Tombkeepers were....wrong? What happened to him was....bad?

But that's not right. He's the....he's the bad one. Marik is the bad one! He murdered his own father! That's unforgivable! The murderer of Marik's father has to be made to pay, but it was him, not the Pharaoh, but now the Pharaoh is saying that if he had...been there....

Fa....Father....

Marik opens his mouth to protest, but nothing comes out, vocal cords stopped by how badly he's always wanted to hear the light never should have been taken away. His Pharaoh - the Pharaoh they served -

His Pharaoh would have wanted him to live...

Above the....

"The fate of every human being"......

He can't. He just - he can't. His head hurts, like he's splitting in half again, but this time there's no one up there to take the pain for him. There's no one up there to blame, or disown. There's just Marik, and all the things Marik wants, and how none of the things Marik wants can happen at the same time, but he wants them all anyway, and it hurts, and nothing will ever hurt again, and he's so trapped, and he's so free. ]

Rishid.

[ He whimpers it, whimpers the person's name who will make it all better, then hunches over, bringing his own arms up around the Pharaoh's, grabbing at his own head. He can't...he can't.....

Father.......

Father it can't be.........

had Marik been.....

Marik had been.......

..................................right....................? ]

Edited 2021-08-16 15:51 (UTC)

[He's opened a can of worms, here, but Atem can't bring himself to regret it. Letting Marik go on thinking that what had happened to him was unstoppable destiny, was right somehow, would be worse...that would feel like being complicit, like adding his own foot (metaphorically) to all of the ones that have already held Marik down, that have caused terrible pain.

No.

Better for Atem to let Marik experience this now, and work through it, and be able to be himself, than for Atem to use him. He won't do that!

But he also won't let Marik go through a breakdown alone. He doesn't know who Rishid is, if he's a good or bad figure, but Marik's clearly in his own head, and considering what Marik's been through, it's very probable that that's not such a good place.

(He has no idea!)]

Marik! Stay with me. Whatever you're thinking about, it isn't here! Look at me. Remember where you are.

[What helped Adam when Adam was stuck in circular thoughts, when he couldn't shake the fear of what had happened to him? Tea, something with a strong smell, and...

...the tip of Atem's tail hooks one of the blankets from the pile by the window. It's even a little warm from the weak sunlight! He brings it over, and puts it around Marik's shoulders. The snakes fidget.]

Remember what's true here! You're in Ryslig, in an apartment in Bavan. There's a game we have to win! You've got a plan, to beat the Fog!

[Atem's not sure it's going to work! But it sure is a plan Marik has, that Atem is going to follow!]

[ Where he is - Remember? Right....Right. He's. He's....

He's warm. It's warm, and light, here. The Pharaoh is ma'at, is order and Justice, and does not want Marik to suffer. The Tombkeepers, all this time, have been -

No. That's the big confusing knot, that's the thing Marik doesn't understand, but does he need to understand it, right now? No. Because it doesn't matter. What matters now is vanquishing the Fog, and escaping Ryslig, and returning home, where he's finally...

(could he have been all this time?) ]

Pharaoh. When I...get out of here....

[ Not "if". When. Marik takes a deep breath. Tries to come back. No more darkness, ever again. It never should have happened.

He lowers his hands, shaking, then goes still. Firm. He has to know. What's important here? Escaping from Ryslig. Why's that important? Because of what comes after. He has to ask. The Pharaoh will know.

The Pharaoh will save him. ]

....will I be permitted.....to be free.....?

[No seriously who does he have to penalty game. The fact that this was done, in his name...! He's so mad. Hopping mad. His hair snakes are agitated, hissing, but not threatening Marik; they're directionless, lacking a target, but oh boy do not attempt a boop.]

As if that were ever a question!

I'm sorry the family you served...turned out to be capable of things like this... This isn't the only sin they've committed. I don't know how many more I'll learn about, before the end! The memories I'm supposed to regain must contain terrible darkness.

[But he might have to get them back, at this point...Atem needs to know who was responsible, who decided to send an entire family underground, force them to torture their children, and blame it on "fate." Just thinking about it sets off the kind of anger that comes with rumbling sound-effects on the panel. He's been slipping in and out of that rage for the last minute or two.]

But of course you'll be free. All of you -- any other survivors -- you'll be released from any obligation you had to me.

[Because, even if it's important for getting his memories back, any service the Tombkeepers are able to perform for him...that should be given freely, earned through friendship, not coerced through brainwashing and hurt and fear. If he can't earn their loyalty himself, then he doesn't deserve to have their help! Not after what they suffered, for him.]

[ A sin....The Tombkeepers, themselves, did not commit a sin? Whoever...whoever did this to them....instead....he was the victim, after all? All of them. Rishid, and Sister, and Marik, and - and Father, too, Father, doing it all because they thought it was fate, thought it was right, when really their Pharaoh....

Rishid. Who do I hate for this?

He still doesn't know. But that person - Atem's ancestors? Tombkeepers of old? Marik is still having trouble imagining a person being in charge of this decision - they're the one who set Marik and his father on the course to tragedy. And hating them for that is....

Is okay?

And he's.....He's..... ]

Thank you.

[ He's free. Marik exhales, and three thousand years of torment sigh out alongside his breath. It never should have happened. It never should have happened! ]

Keh keh keh....Khahahaha....I have to get back. I have to tell my family!

[ Tell poor Rishid, who has never wanted anything more than to be one of them...

Tell his sister, who -

wait

wait if the Pharaoh never wanted, if destiny never wanted, any of this to happen

then Marik has been right to hate it all along

and his sister was wrong

Marik is GOING TO WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH HIS SISTER

HE'S ACTUALLY GOING TO BEAT HIS SISTER AT SOMETHING!

Marik laughs, liberated, and also kinda giddy. For some reason this seems like the funniest fucking thing. TAKE THAT!!!

...he does not realize he has started leaning on the Living Horus because remaining upright is kinda tricky right now. Oops. ]

[This is the second time this week he's thrown a blanket of some kind around someone's shoulders and let himself be leaned on. It's chill. It's good to hear that kind of giddy laugh -- since things have been so heavy. Even if there isn't anything else he can do for Marik, to help set this right (and Atem's not sold on that, he'll be thinking about how to handle this), at least he's offered this peace of mind, at least he's set this much straight.

An arm goes around Marik's shoulders, and Marik will be guided down onto one of the chairs around the coffin table.]

You'd better sit down...

[Not that it isn't a lot for Atem, too. God. Heated incisions, again and again and again...some of his snakes twitch angrily, but the majority of the hissing seems to have calmed. Have a sit with a blanket, work through your feelings in this goth little apartment with its eyeball throw pillows and mismatched skulls.

Maybe? Maybe now they can work on using his name? Atem? Not "Pharaoh"?

...

Maybe he should give Marik a little more time to process. Soon, though! He thinks it'll help with the whole...cult...thing.]

[ Marik lets himself be led, wrapped, comforted, he's always wanted someone to save him, and for it to be this person, of all people....he can follow his King because he chooses to, because the Pharaoh deserves it... ]

The Gods were right...I could never. Have assembled them. [ Could never have held the power of a King. ] But they came to you, even here...

[ It's going to be okay. The Pharaoh is here. With his skills and Marik's brain, there's nothing they can't do. He can figure out what to do about....the whole circumstances with his father....later. They only have so much time. Until Yugi eats souls. Until Marik - whatever happens to Marik, happens. Until the Fog regains her strength.

....he killed his father and now the Pharaoh is saying the urges that led him to do that were right and he doesn't know what to do with that because it feels good and killing your father isn't supposed to feel good it's, like, the one kind of killing Marik can't condone in pursuit of a goal, but he wants absolution so badly it hurts, wants it all to....

....burn...?

In the sun, that must be it. In the sun. ]

I could have never been worthy....Not with....

[ He stares at his hands. Someone pitted him and his father...against each other? If he'd never had to live down there, then he never would have resented it....

....how is he supposed to avenge a death when he doesn't know who the cause is? ]

...but I'll help you. If you're ever able to go after the people who did this to me. Us. My family.

I'll do anything....

[ his father is dead. ]

[Atem's snake body half-sits, half-leans on the arm of the chair Marik's in. He doesn't care about being short, but he does like to sit up high when he can!]

What it takes to be worthy of gods...I wouldn't worry about that. It doesn't matter -- not here! What matters is what you decide to do.

The identity of the person who did this...is it possible that it's hidden in my memories? If I remember the past...will I know?

[A friendly, companiable, clawed hand on Marik's shoulder. It's encouraging, and it's supportive.]

If I do find out...I'll tell you. Of course I'll accept your help! It's a very real possibility that whoever it is is long dead. But if they're not...if they're like me, and the survivor of the Kul Elna sacrifice...then, they'll pay for what they've done. I promise!

I've never come up with a penalty game for something like this before...but I've got time, don't I? Don't worry, I'll think of something good.

[8D]

[ "Kul Elna sacrifice"? Kul Elna is the village where the Tablet of the Pharaoh's Memories awaits the Millennium Items. What the heck kind of sacrifice - and why would the Pharaoh, this Pharaoh, who barely even duels, know something about Kul Elna that not even a Tombkeeper -

The other Tombkeeper, then? Shadi? Or someone he's met here...? Wait, with the context, "like him and the survi---" ]

The Spirit of the Ring is from Kul Elna?

[ He sounds baffled. There is fucking nothing in Kul Elna. What's more, the Spirit of the Ring used to be human, like the Pharaoh?

This is a silly thing to be fixating on when there's all of...the rest of it....to worry about. A punishment worth three thousand years of servitude. Of captivity. Captivity of not just bodies, but minds, hearts--!!

Marik may be focusing on the one thing here not directly relating to his situation for a reason, and that reason is escaping him. ]

...yes. Well, part of him is.

The other part is the dark god the sacrifice was made to. I'm not sure how it happened, but somehow, what got sealed into the Ring is both of them at once!

[Pretty fucked up!]

Edited 2021-08-18 14:21 (UTC)

[ This does not help. At first. ]

But that's -

[ HUH. So much for a change of subject not involving getting his mind reblown.

This one is easier to take, though. So Kul Elna....was the site of a great sacrifice. He wishes he could ask Sister what might have made it such an exceptional spot. But that was never in their texts either, was it? The Tablet of the Pharaoh's Memories was in Kul Elna because that's - that's where it was.

...Doesn't matter. The Ring-Spirit being from the same time period as the Pharaoh makes sense. Especially since he also collected Items...yet does that mean that - that Marik's theory about the Millennium Items being tools of a great darkness -

If he ends up having been right about everything, he is not letting anybody contradict him, on anything, ever again. He wants the past few weeks at home he spent hating himself back now! Gods! He was right to hate whoever trapped them beneath the earth, and he was right there was something fishy about the Millennium Items! EVERYONE SHOULD ALWAYS LISTEN TO MARIK ISHTAR: MORAL OF THE STORY. ]

- I see. [ Marik is able to smile! Something about this is a little bit funny.

Namely, the last time he saw the Ring-Spirit, said horrifying amalgamation of evil incarnate had gotten his nose broken and was calling a man in goblin cosplay something Marik is increasingly certain was "Dad". ] He's gotten sloppy in his old age.

[ Come ON, dude, if you're going to be an ancient spirit of untold terrors, the least you can do is like. Win a card game now and then. For fuck's sake. ]

How so? Is he all right?

Or are you talking about the broken nose he had two weeks ago?

[Atem sure seems concerned about someone he'd just called "half evil god."]

That, and he hasn't got the faintest idea how to run an organization! [ Marik sighs. One of the problems with having an Active Mind is that occasionally he falls prey to shiny syndrome, especially when he doesn't want to think about something else.

And right now? With his world in pieces within his head and his scars useless against Atem's blanket, in the face of the ruins of the Gods? Mocking the Ring-Spirit sounds fantastic. ] I helped and he still hasn't recruited more than five people....

[ and one of the people lies on the floor all the time....and one of the people is "dad"....the other three seem competent enough though ]

I'm willing to support his endeavor as a backup plan if dueling falls through, but I shudder to think how he's fared without me.

Oh, I see...

...

Do you mean what he was talking about in Rota a few weeks ago? He's actually managed to sway a few of them?

[Completely unconcerned that the Ring-Spirit and Marik are running an offshoot group of monster worshippers. Because RS and Marik are his friends! And also, RS legitimately appears to be a better cult leader to follow than Tage.]

Half a dozen, give or take.

[ Five. He has five. Four Tage and one girl who just sort of...showed up...? One day? Marik is still learning the details but he has a feeling that when he gets the whole picture, he's going to have another reason to laugh at the Ring-Spirit. So he likes that cultist. ]

The angle we're going for is "truth". True facts about the Fog, living in a way that's true to who or what you feel you were born to be...

[ He almost has a moment of introspection, but he's done that enough today, and his brain is tired. He sniffs. ]

Their last leader made them all dress like waldgeists. No imagination.

[Atem frowns. Every time he's been in Rota, they haven't been waldgeists...]

No, she didn't. Most of the time, they all dressed like different monsters...I thought the leader was the only one allowed to dress like a waldgeist.

[What does Marik mean??]

[ Well, now Marik's just confused. ]

They wore deer masks to invade Bavan....

[ But....if the Pharaoh is right about under typical circumstances, then....

wheels. turning ]

[Oh, right. They had, hadn't they? And Marik ran into them then...]

...that's right. I guess that was some kind of uniform...or maybe an infiltration costume? Designed for anonymity.

But when I woke up in their village, the one that looked after me had a cat mask...there were two with snake-scale tattoos, I remember them, too...and one of the tents was done up to look like a vampire lair. They'd painted it to look like it was part castle, part cave!

[They put a lot of creativity into what they do...it's a shame they're all murderous LARPers, instead of just the regular kind of dramatic.]

So she picks and chooses when they get to be what they want to be, and what they're allowed to want to be.

[ Marik snickers. It's still a bit bleak-sounding since he's Had A Day, here, but... ]

Oh, yes, definitely, they're all there to serve the Fog! I can't believe his angle was right....

[ "Richard" was onto something, there, by targeting Ms. Tage for his objections.

Pity about that broken nose making it nearly impossible for anyone to tell what he was saying. Must have been quite the scuffle, with someone impressive, to get one up on the Ring-Spirit! ]

I don't like Tage, either...she ran off at the first sign of trouble, and left a lot of her followers behind....many of them got killed by angry monsters last month because of that.

[As Atem goes on, he's more musing to himself than anything else.]

The Tagevalgten...it's a complicated situation. It'd be better if they didn't exist as an organization....but I understand why they turned to that kind of philosophy.

Don't worry. We'll take good care of the ones that remain.

[ If they can just get more than four established cultists and one teenager from town who likes being play-chased by "Richard" to listen to them.

Marik chuckles, his head full of plans, then grows quiet. He draws the blanket around himself. Resists the urge to lean on the Pharaoh. That would be disrespectful.

But the day is catching up with him, and he's flagging. ]

[That's not ominous at all!! But Atem actually does trust the Ring-Spirit to look out for the guys under his care. They're better off with RS than they were with Tage.

But he does not trust that Marik won't pass out on his couch. Atem had better get the guy home before he's too tired to operate a motorcycle.]

You've had quite a day. I wish I could tell you it won't always be like this, but...since that's the way things are, it's even more important to get proper rest!

You're still staying with Noa, right? Can you make it back on your own?

[ Can he....He thinks so. He's tired, but...riding always makes him feel better. He'll ride his bike, and then....

Then....He'll let the back of his mind figure out "then." He's brilliant, he can do things like that. ]

I couldn't trouble you further. [ Marik pushes himself forward, roots around for his clothes. ] Prepare for the Duel. I'll do the same.

[Yes, Marik, please put your shirt back on.

Atem doesn't say that, though. He just nods -- and he'll see Marik out the door, once he's clothed and gathered up. Drive alert arrive alive, pal.]

Edited 2021-09-19 21:34 (UTC)

[ Who the hell do you think he is?! He's fine!

He only gets honked at three times, even, which means he's having an especially uneventful night.

Marik heeds none of it, however. Lots on his mind. ]

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wow self CW DISORDERED THINKING ESP OF A FAMILY ABUSE VARIETY

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cw child abuse & its psychological aftereffects

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now that I know he doesn't go to the penthouse.....

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OH MY GOD RS'S BELLA IS IN THE SUBCULT?? omg

the mods said "5 humans, half are traitors", so, 2 real converts, 2 traitors, 1 fangirl....

amazing.

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.