knifemonopoly | IC inbox

[Does Ryou even need the last round of blows?

...

Atem won't falter at the finish line. If he gives in, and it turns out to not be enough after all, and Ryou goes to AM...all of this will have been for nothing.

And Ryou still hasn't said enough.

So, Atem will follow the rules he himself set.

One, two. Three, four. They're controlled, but not angry. He doesn't even say anything. Five, six. Seven, eight. Ryou did it, he made it to the end. Nine, ten. Eleven, twelve. Atem is going to take care of him, now that this is over...he'll tell Ryou what a good job he did...

Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen.

And, at last, it stops. The crop stills, the room is quiet. Atem needs to gauge where Ryou is, before he makes his next move.]

[Ryou takes each and every strike. His body slumps forward, at the very end of it, he's almost convinced that he's going to lose consciousness at this point. Maybe, for a brief moment it seems like he has.

But that's not it. He's in his own head. This whole thing...did it matter?

No.

(yes)

...Yes?

(you don't need to leave)

He...can stay. There's no feeling compelling him to continue, nothing he can't run from. Nothing he can't suppress, for now. Forever, if he has it his way.]

Please...i-it's enough. L-let me out...Atem, please.

[Ryou can't bear another moment of this pain. He's already taken so much, the reality of it is starting to intimidate him.]

[Ryou's broken the fiction. He's asked to be released, invoked the escape-rule, and it's what Atem's been waiting for, too. In the real world, Atem lets out a breath of relief, and his shoulders slump; in the image, he simply fades out of existence. The walls and chains and bench and floor all dissolve around Ryou, melting out of existence, and he'll find himself back in reality, in his own room, seated on his bed. There are no bruises, no irritated skin where the manacles were, only a cool vampire hand in his, holding it gently.

Atem's other hand is at the juncture of Ryou's neck and shoulder. He looks into Ryou's eyes, searching his expression, all warmth and concern, with none of the ice and menace from a moment ago.]

It's all right. You're safe. You're home. It's all right...

[A beat. There's tears on Ryou's face. He has to resist the impulse to wipe them away, not yet, not until he's got a better idea of where Ryou is, emotionally, and how Ryou feels about him, after that.]

How do you feel?

[It takes Ryou a moment to acclimate to reality. His arms aren't chained, his wrists aren't hurting, his back...

It's...fine. He's fine, save for the tears on his face and the cut on his lip from where he'd bitten too hard. There wasn't even nearly as much blood. Ryou's heartbeat starts to race, his breath hitches as his eyes take in his surroundings. But then they find Atem, and by all accounts, he should be horrified.

But he's not. Logical or not, this is his Atem, not the one in the terrible game that Ryou had forced him to play, and his first, immediate move is to pull Atem into a fierce embrace.]

I'm sorry...I'm sorry for all of it.

[Ryou's not really okay yet, but part of the solution is to know that he hadn't hurt Atem with this. That hallucination must have been awful for him...]

[This is the real Atem, not the illusion. Atem's pulled in fiercely, and his own response is to wrap arms tight around Ryou's back, with enough force that they're in danger of toppling over onto the bed, if Ryou doesn't catch them.]

I don't want you to go, [he murmurs into Ryou's shoulder.] Tell me you won't. It worked, didn't it? You won't go.

[He needs to know this. Atem needs to know it was worth it, worth making Ryou cry and bite his lip and bleed.]

[Topple they do, Ryou doesn't feel like staying upright any longer. He pulls Atem onto the bed with him, atop him, even. His grip is strong, and he even threads his tail around Atem's leg, below the knee.

One hand gently reaches up, pushing itself up into Atem's hair with slender fingers, trying to be of comfort.]

I'll stay here with you. Of course. It was stupid to want to go...

[Stupid to think that AM would somehow help Ryou with his punishments. Very, very stupid.]

I just...I n-needed to know...that I'd be...that I'd be...

[Fuck. No, no no. He's crying again, he can't stop himself, or keep the words from sticking in his throat.]

Hnn...I...couldn't hear a-anything past...past the darkness...

[He sucks in a breath that sounds so painful, so harsh, that he might have very well been in the hallucination again, struck over and over...]

[It's very hard, for Atem, to make the distinction between he followed me into this and made his own choice and I did this to him. He knows in his mind that Ryou is his own person, that Ryou is seeking his own win condition, and felt this was the best way to get there. That's the thinking of someone who respects his boyfriend as their own person.

But in his heart keeps hurting him with the suggestion that this is Atem's fault, because he led all of this, and he knew Ryou would follow. His heart feels like an open wound, and his head presses up against the hand in his hair, even as his face comes down to press into Ryou's neck.

Now, though, when he hears Ryou start to cry again, Atem does shift so he can brush them away. His fingertips clear them from Ryou's cheeks, and he presses kisses to where they were. He does this again and again, as he murmurs:]

You did so well. You made it to the end. You aren't alone, none of us would give you up, either, and you're safe now, you did well--

[Interspersed with the kisses and murmurs, Atem brushes his cheek over Ryou's face. It's possessive. His, and everyone with proper senses should know it, no one else is laying a hand on Ryou, Atem will do anything to ensure that, up to and including crafting an elaborate torture fantasy in Ryou's own mind in hopes it will calm him down.]

[The tenderness of it all, and the words of encouragement, all help soothe Ryou's pain. It was scary, being stuck in his own torture fantasy. If it was anyone else, he'd be thoroughly terrified and probably never recover.

His tail winds more tightly around Atem's calf, but the rest of him starts to relax. His heart, his breathing, his grip...though the fingers in Atem's hair can't help but move, weaving carefully through the thickness of his hair. His fingertips settle against Atem's scalp and move gently.

After all...Ryou had made him do this. He wants to handle Atem carefully as well, to comfort him as best he can.]

Without you...I'd be lost.

[He says it with conviction, and with a great deal of emotion.]

Thank you for...pushing the bad thoughts away. I'm glad I did it, I wanted to...to show that I can be strong, and take what's deserved without compromise.

[His fingers tug lightly at the smallest strands of Atem's hair, purposely, to try and comfort and distract.]

I love you. I'm yours, completely. It was wrong to try and give myself away to someone else.

[The light tug at his hair, combined with the stroking and the warmth of both Ryou's body and his words, pulls a purr out of Atem's larynx. He noses at Ryou's cheek and ear, catlike, loving.]

I never want to do anything...that would make you take yourself away from me.

[Nuzzling at Ryou's face, clearing away tears, planting kisses at the corners of his eyes.]

I was afraid that I had.

[Ryou's eyes slip shut. He doesn't want to cry anymore...but the thought that he'd worried Atem with his actions was more than a little distressing. His tail squeezes Atem's leg a bit tighter, before unwinding slowly, tracing an uncoordinated path up his leg and side.]

You didn't do this. I made the choice to kill the first man...and I made the choice to kill the other three. My guilt...it shouldn't be yours.

[His fingers curl, gently tugging Atem's head back so he can look him in the eye.]

You helped me. With these powers...we're better. I promise. I just...I need time to get acclimated. But I'll always be on your side, Atem. I've promised before. We're in this together.

[And he leans up, to kiss the other monster.]

[Round red eyes, that don't look a thing like the hardened mask that had sized Ryou up across a table with manacles, meet Ryou's, before the kiss. They're worried, hoping, open, honest. They betray just how far from invincible Atem really is, no matter what he wants his enemies to think.

He kisses Ryou back, hopinghopinghoping Ryou is right, and tendrils made of solid shadow slip out to wrap around Ryou's torso and waist. Two hands aren't enough to hold Ryou with, but luckily, he has these...they don't restrict movement, not like the manacles did, they just hold, a little like the tail did, a moment ago.

When the kiss breaks, he murmurs:]

Together.

[Atem hasn't forgotten why they went this far. He hasn't forgotten that Ryou is someone he can rely on, to stand by his side no matter what. Ryou has followed him to the other side of the chess board, and their pawns' powers have been replaced by those of a more powerful piece...

It's just that getting there came at a cost.]

[Ryou feels the tendrils curl around him, holding him close. He's not scared of Atem. He regrets hurting monsters in service of his own goals, but what they'd done...he'd never take it back. Even if it hurts, even if he has to find a way to satisfy that cold, unyielding monster inside...their powers were obtained for a reason.

So he kisses Atem until he can't kiss him anymore, until his tail's curled right back around the vampire's waist like a silly little fur-tipped belt, and by the time they part...Ryou's breathless and relaxed.]

...It goes without saying, I think...that we should have a few days in, right?

If you're not busy...[Ha ha.]...we could play poker and drink wine and forget that I'm an idiot for a little while.

[It's just a suggestion, and he's being (partly) facetious about the "idiot" thing. He just wants to find something that Atem wants to do, and so gives several suggestions wrapped in one.]

Or we could stay here in bed. Anything you like.

[He nods, in agreement. They should lay low for a while, and...spending some low-key time together sounds nice.

But, right now...]

...I want to stay in bed.

[He brushes his cheek against Ryou's, again. Scent-marking, soothing. Mine.]

I want to take care of you for a while.

[To reassure Ryou. To reassure himself. To drive away the cruel things he made Ryou see and feel, because that was the only way the darkness could be fought...at least, with the tools Atem has available to him. That wasn't something Atem had wanted to do...but, this is. He has a sense for his own wants, now, more than before, and he doesn't want to unwind his tendrils yet.]

Y...yes, that's good. It's fine.

[Ryou almost argues that Atem needs to be taken care of. But...he loses the words to do so, because up until this point, being apologetic towards Atem had kept his mind off of what had happened.

He hadn't...forgotten. But he had tried.

Atem will feel Ryou tense in his grip...before he murmurs something so quiet it'd be surprising if it was heard at all.]

Is...it okay, to want to be taken care of? I made you do something terrible...

[The tendrils tighten, just a little -- just enough to hold Ryou snugly, instead of the looser grip they'd had a moment ago.]

You didn't make me do anything. I made an offer, and I made a choice.

[His arms wrap around Ryou, too, thicker than the tendrils, more substantial, more human.]

It would only not be okay if you didn't want me to take care of you.

[If Ryou wanted nothing to do with him; if what had happened would be a scar on Ryou's psyche, one Atem could never take back.]

[Again...Ryou wants to disagree. He had forced Atem's hand, by foolishly attempting to take matters into his own hands, and make himself pay in a way that would hurt more than just himself.

...And again, he doesn't argue. He instead tightens his own grip around Atem, holding him like a coveted treasure.]

I can only trust you to take care of me.

[It's unfair to think that, when he has friends...but Ryou's heart is in pain, he still remembers what it feels like to have his arms bound against his will, to writhe under blows that feel as if they might never end...

Atem, his Atem, the one who cares and not the one who brought him pain to quell the terrible feelings inside him, is the one who he wants to be held by.]

[He murmurs his reassurance into the soft skin near Ryou's ear.]

I won't hurt you any more. I promise.

[It's not being asked for. It's not something Ryou feels he needs. So, only good feelings, now -- only tendrils trailing up the sides of Ryou's legs, and a third running through his hair, as Atem's arms stay around Ryou's shoulders.]

I know. I know you won't.

[Ryou exhales softly. It takes a few seconds longer than normal, but he does eventually start to relax, letting out a quiet, wordless murmur as Atem holds him, as his tendrils map pathways along Ryou's legs.

He's glad...he's happy he won't be hurt again.]

Mmnh...I...want you to hold me...forever.

[He says it quietly, the emotion still thick in his voice. But it's not tears and anguish anymore, it's a familiar needy tone, the one he takes when he craves Atem's full attention. He'll make it up to him...he'll do what he needs to, but afterwards. Now he selfishly takes Atem's attentions, tilts his head back into the tendril working through his hair.]

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.