IC inbox

[knifemonopoly]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 *** PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1> If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.

Main handle: < Player1 > Anon: < turtleluck >, < actuallydied >, < burner >

Comments

[alchefist]

She was someone we fought while we were trying to break the Curse of Balal. She had a profound effect on Saint-Germain. I wasn't there to see much of it, but she was part of why she turned against Adam and helped save Japan with the rest of us.

Hibiki had this whole thing about reaching out to others, "taking their hand" in understanding. Saint-Germain could never fully accept that, but I could tell she wanted to. But...I suppose she's afraid of disrespecting the sacrifices she made all this time by thinking differently.

Right now, the only person whose hand she can really take is mine. And...this has all made me realize something. I can't enable her anymore. I can't be so blinded by her radiance that I can't think uncritically. I love her, and that means being able to tell her when she's wrong.

cw murder discussion ig?

[knifemonopoly]

It's hard...

...it's hard to realize that the people you killed didn't have to die, because your plan was never going to work. Knowing you hurt people you didn't have to, and having to live with that...I can understand.

Telling someone you love and admire that you think they're wrong is hard, too! But it's important to be able to do that. Otherwise, it puts a strain on the relationship...and it doesn't mean you don't understand them. Sometimes, understanding them means it's even more important to speak up!

[Take it from him. But, rather than talk about his own relationship, and how Ryou used to feel like he couldn't speak up, and all the problems that caused that they're still working on...]

So, you're saying that not many people understand Saint-Germain?

[alchefist]

I'm saying that Saint-Germain has trouble understanding other people. Tachibana Hibiki may not have gotten her to open her hands to others, but she did make her start to see the value in looking past her own goals and preconceptions. But she's still learning.

You also have to understand that she's devoted herself to the alchemic arts, and in alchemy, you can't gain anything unless you sacrifice something first. Combine that with Adam Weishaupt's manipulations, and the price Ryslig demands from all of us...you can see why she'd become set in her ways, at least? I hope anyway.

But I can't let that be an excuse.

I'm going to be honest with you. To me, it didn't matter if Saint-Germain's goals were right or wrong. I'd have moved heaven and earth for her, either way. Even now, the morals of the matter aren't my concern. But...now I'm responsible for her happiness, and seeing that she stays true to herself and what Tachibana Hibiki taught her. We're equals now, and protecting her heart means protecting her from herself sometimes.

[knifemonopoly]

I see. I think I understand you better, too, now...I think that's a worthwhile goal! I wish you luck, in protecting her heart!

[He's always felt that protecting one's own heart in Ryslig was key to being able to endure the place. This is exactly how Cagliostro should be looking at things: Saint-Germain is lucky to have her.]

I'm familiar with that principle of alchemy. It worked similarly in my world. I don't even disagree with her that here, the best way to ensure an act's success is to determine who it will force to suffer...

...but it's hard to control who the targets will be. The effects will spill out in ways you can't predict...people will always be hurt worse than you intend, especially if you're trying to do something big. And, if she's the sort of person who feels guilt over things like that...then, she'll be hurt, too, and the only one who wins is the person who designed this place, who's getting something out of it being the way it is.

[alchefist]

I think we've both realized that we can't do anything here without hurting someone. But I give you my word that I'll at least be there to help her consider the ramifications.

But the way you phrased that...do you also believe that there's a power beyond the Fog God controlling all of this?

[knifemonopoly]

I do! I'm convinced that this place is designed for a different purpose than what the Fog God seems to want...she's a useful tool, I'm sure, but I believe this entire world is artificial, and tightly controlled by someone she's not aware of.

[alchefist]

I almost wonder if you were the first person to put the idea in Saint-Germain's head.

I wonder what it says about me that I don't personally care if I'm someone else's plaything? All I care about is protecting Saint-Germain's heart and helping her achieve her dream. I already swore to her that I'd accept even the title of a devil if it meant I could be by her side. Her enemy is my enemy for those reasons alone.

But I suppose it's irrelevant if we're all on the same side anyway.

yandere to yandere communication

[knifemonopoly]

I understand.

[He knows a little of what that's like, doesn't he? For someone to be your world -- for their enemies to be your enemies, to exist to protect their heart and their happiness...]

Sometimes, one person is your most important thing in the world...it can feel like you exist for no reason besides them. You'd accept any circumstances if that was what it took to be effective for them!

[He won't tell her she's wrong for living that way. It really is something he can understand...didn't he say that if that was what it took to have the power to protect his friends, he would gladly become a monster? But, living for just one person is dangerous in its own way...if things go badly with them, or you lose them, then it feels like your whole world's tilted, off its axis.

Is it his place to say that, though...? He shouldn't explain her business to her, especially if she's lived several hundred years.]

Do you have friends besides her, yet?

[alchefist]

Oh, Saint-Germain and I had this conversation. She told me I've been too absorbed in our relationship, and I agree with her. I'm making efforts to break out of that.

But as for friends, there's little Nanami-chan and Joshua! I need to spend more time with them!

But in all seriousness, I get what you're saying. But rest assured, protecting Saint-Germain's heart doesn't mean doing everything she says unflinchingly. She's my reason to live, and my motivation, but there's no reason I can't live a rich life beyond her~!

[knifemonopoly]

[Ah, so Saint-Germain already noticed, and was on it. Thank goodness! It's hard enough to have that talk with someone you know well!]

That's good...! I'm glad. You seem like the kind of person who knows how to have fun...I'm sure you won't have difficulty making friends at all!

[alchefist]

Hehehehe.

Like, just call me a social butterfly.