̷A̷t̷e̷m̷ (
knifemonopoly) wrote2021-02-05 06:28 pm
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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 *** PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1> If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message. | ||||
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It's what happens if you play. Atem-kun... you can't win Tetris. You can just hold off for a while and try to get a new high score. It's the same here. Either you go back to the Sea of Stars, or you lose your memories here instead.
[ And to Nanami, both of those are different forms of losing. She hesitates. ]
I thought.... I thought I was okay with that.
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So, all this time...you felt it was inevitable that one day you'd forget your Hope's Peak classmates? If you didn't go back to the Sea of Stars?
And -- now that you know what it's like...you're afraid of it. Because it's worse than you thought it would be.
[He's making sure he understands this right by repeating it back, slowly and carefully.]
cw: self-harm if you squint?
It was like I wasn't myself at all. You're right about that, Atem-kun... they're pieces of us.
[ She plays with one of her leafy fingers. Twists it, a little too hard, but it's not as bad as if it were made of actual flesh and blood. Her body's weird like that. ]
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[He reaches over and puts a hand on her arm.]
So...you don't think there's any hope of getting out? Before we go back to the Sea, or lose ourselves completely.
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A kind of death... ]
Do you?
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[He's quiet, but certain.]
I think we may be here a very long time. Longer than any of us imagined when we arrived. But I don't think escape is hopeless.
Monsters have only been coming here for eight or nine years. In that time, slow but steady progress has been made in understanding the world around us, and what is around that world. A few years ago, no one even knew the Sea of Stars existed! It isn't fast, but...we are learning.
And, in case all of that turns out to be a trick too, I also think, [Atem goes on,] that the fact that the things we hear from the Fog and learn from portal expeditions are meant to take away our desire to escape itself means there's hope. Because -- if escape were really impossible, and all attempts to get out would just tie into the mid-month fog and generate its suffering...then they should be encouraging us to try. Do you see what I mean? I think there is a way -- it's just a matter of finding it, without causing too much trouble through failed attempts.
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Almost nobody lasts that many years... you know? People leave, all the time... I'll bet most of us have only been here for a short time... I mean, Atem-kun-- isn't it more likely that before we're able to make much progress, we'll run out of time?
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[He grins, gives an easy, confident shrug!]
Besides...going back to the Sea of Stars isn't like dying. Not really! There's always the chance you'll be brought back, given enough time...and if what the Fog God says is true, we won't die of old age as long as we're monsters. We could have a hundred years, or a thousand, to find a way to make the monthly suffering stop, or find a way to a better place.
So...we should live with both timespans in mind. We should live in the moment, because the chances that pass us by may never come again...and we should protect ourselves and our hearts like we'll still be here a thousand years from now!
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How could she have forgotten? She never played games to win (even if winning was nice). It's not her title anymore, but she does know how to play.
She rubs her face, as if she's just waking up. Takes a deep breath to steady herself. Looks to her friend - her co-player. ]
I need to learn... strategies. To... last longer. So-- so nothing like that happens, but for real.
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I can tell you what I've learned...but that's more of a guide to what not to do! The monsters who've been here a long time, like Lust and Reira and Noa...they might be able to give you something more concrete.
[He grips her bark, firmly, reassuringly: she's not alone.]
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Wraps her wooden arms around him and hugs him tight, burying her face in his neck. Her fronds tickle his face, the way they're hugging. ]
I'd like that. Please. Thank you...
[ It's still scary. But she feels less alone, and less... doomed to an inescapable fate. ]
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Definitely.
But...you'll have to tell me if you want to talk now, or later. You're...
[He knows the look he saw in her eyes.]
...the things that have happened are bothering you, a lot. I can tell! And, when I've felt that way, sometimes a distraction helps, and sometimes, doing anything at all feels impossible. Whatever it is you need, I'm here to help...even if it's just making sure you're not left alone.
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Which means she's drifting off again. She shakes herself out of it. She wants to be here, here and now, with Atem, while she still can. ]
Game. [ She looks down at the game that Atem's chosen - one she recognizes, and starts to pull out the pieces for a match. ] Let's-- yeah.
[ It's quiet and familiar and comforting work, to set up the board, deal cards, put the pieces into place. As Nanami does, she chuckles a little, realizing something. ]
I guess I did get to try one of your shadow games... like I asked, when we first met.
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I wish it hadn't been that way. Like I said, they're for enemies...I wouldn't wish it on a friend.
But...now you know.