knifemonopoly | IC inbox

It is! But...

[Atem leans in. He winds himself around the back of Ryou's neck; possibly tickling, but not meaning to. What he means to do is, one, provide touch that keeps Ryou in the moment, and two, comfort.

The top of his little snake head presses up against the underside of Ryou's jaw.]

If you waited until it got bad, and you lost control...then, it wouldn't exactly be "you," either, right? You wouldn't make the decision to kill...because nothing that makes you you would be there. It'd just be a monster, without any direction or guidance.

You're preventing that damage. Every time you choose to eat a soul, you're doing something that's very hard, in order to keep a worse eventuality in check. Not everybody does! It never should have been asked of you...but it's working. It's an admirable thing, to do your best to hold a monster back, even when it's hard.

[Even if Ryou doesn't always do a perfect job, he's doing his best. He doesn't just leave it until he loses control when the fog comes, like Atem suspects might be happening to a friend of his...

He presses his head harder for a moment against Ryou's jaw, then lets up. A snug (snake hug). It really is unfair that Ryou has been asked to do this, forced to make that kind of decision.]

[Ryou doesn't mind Atem slipping around the back of his neck, and he minds the feel of scales under his jaw even less. He never likes talking about this. It's...as he kept saying, very difficult.

But Atem's words do help pull him back from the line of thought he's on, the self-hating rhetoric which hides just beneath the surface. It is hard to pick out a person. He always feels grateful to Atem for taking the difficulty out of that particular aspect by bringing him prey. It's hard enough for Ryou as it is, but cutting the calculus out of finding a bad person makes it easier. He trusts Atem's judgment.

And he does see the irony in that, but chooses to ignore it.]

...Thanks, Atem. It's better to think of things that way. I feel as if you always have a merciful perspective on the things I do, even if you should probably punish me for literally trespassing on people's souls.

[It's said jokingly!

...Sort of.]

[The last foot or so of Atem's tail pushes over Ryou's wrist, winding around it.]

I'd never punish someone for a terrible choice they made because they'd been forced to. Especially if they picked the option that caused the least suffering! It's like the trolley problem...if the trolley can't be stopped, the person driving it isn't necessarily evil. They're in a bad position, too!

The one who deserves punishment in that case--

[The cab grinds to a halt outside the graveyard's gates.]

--is the one who knew the trolley schedule, and tied the people to the tracks.

Edited 2021-09-01 18:22 (UTC)

[Ryou had only just recently done up a network post of his own, when he sees Annie's. He's taking up residence on the blanket nest a few feet from Atem because...that's what you do when you're trying to take care of your snoyfriend.]

...Uh? Atem...? Are you awake?

[Said quietly, in case he isn't.]

[Ryou will see the blankets shift. He's been drifting in and out of miserable consciousness. His skin is, like, ready to go.]

Hm? What is it?

...I think Annie's being haunted by her doll "daughter." She just posted on the network.

[Hey look. Atem wanted to know what was going on on the network. Ryou's just helping here.

Oh! Does that mean he has to mention his post? He should.]

The network's been pretty quiet besides us two, so it was definitely noticeable.

[There, simple enough. He doesn't want to bother Atem with the details of his post though, he's just about ready to jump out of his own skin as it is. Literally.]

[Muffled, but in a voice that's trying very hard to be distracted from how badly it itches right now:]

Annie...

...right, Maribel!

Is she all right? She's not in trouble, is she?

Umm, I don't think so. She's freaking out, because the doll moves on its own and wants...a tea party? I can kind of see why she would be upset.

[Kind of. But Ryou would also think it was cool.

He takes a second to painstakingly type a message one-handed--though he is getting better at it, actually!--then returns his attention to Atem.

Ryou reaches a hand out to touch his arm, where the skin feels...understandably weird, and he tries giving him a bit of a scratch. Good? Bad?]

Hhh.

[The shade claws cut right through the outer layer, and it feels -- it feels like he's put four or five layers of dried glue on his whole body and it's finally got a seam to peel from.

Atem sits up in the blankets, wincing -- being coveted in glue is not a good feeling -- and he realizes his eyes have cleared.]

Ryou -- Ryou, I'm going to need you to keep telling me what's going on with Maribel.

[He hooks his own claw tips into the open skin layer...and he starts to pull.

It comes up. Atem keeps pulling at it, cutting at its edges with a claw, and it looks like he's peeling off a tan glove, as the skin slowly separates from the new layer underneath, sliding up his forearm, his wrist, his palm, his fingers....]

Is a...is a tea party all she wants?

...The Fog, then.

[As the cab comes to a stop, Ryou's head turns, having a look at the surroundings. This is actually...pretty cool. He knows that they have a reason for being here and that he's weird for liking graveyards, but...it was still interesting.]

Thank you. I know I already said it, but...I really am grateful. Sometimes I have a habit of getting into my own head and thinking the worst of things, so a different opinion does help.

[He tips his head a little, his own way of offering a hug at this point. He's so entwined in cobra that it's the best he can do.]

...But now it's about time we relieve our driver, I suppose. He's been very patient.

[He reaches for the door to open it, moving slow enough to allow Atem to adjust his grip. Ryou's not sure when he got so comfortable with being wrapped in this much snake, but it's not bad. It's comforting.]

[Ryou didn't expect the skin to give like that and initially, he jerks his hand back and looks worriedly at the area he'd touched because he's afraid he might have cut deep. But...it looks like he's just created an opening to start the arduous process that Atem is going to have to go through.

The shedding has begun. And Ryou understands that it's uncomfortable, so he nods, glancing back at the laptop and browsing the entries on Annie's post.]

Ah, um. L-looks like Annie's not sure. She...heh. She said Marik owes her child support. And it...it looks like she's talking to the Ring-Spirit too.

He looks confused. That's about normal.

[Ryou finds his own conversation line and taps out another response. The only way to find distractions is to keep holding conversations, right?

He offers a glance towards Atem and his ears prick up a little in alarm because, uh, there goes Atem's arm skin. Is he okay? Does he...need something else from Ryou? Has his hair begun to shed as well??]

[He's looking at the break in skin on his arm, breathing in and out shallowly -- each breath expands his chest against his too-tight skin, which feels awful, and makes calming breaths impossible. His heart is going much too fast. Atem knows he needs to calm down and think about this...Ryou looks over and sees Atem staring at his own arm, trying to figure out the best angle of approach. It's much more complicated when you aren't tube-shaped....]

I have to ask you for something else.

Use your claws. Cut my skin just under the arms -- all the way around. I can't reach it myself, not well anyway, so you'll have to do it.

[If Atem were alone, he'd have difficulty with his back. He might accidentally scratch too deep. But if he separates his skin there, where his body is widest, Atem can take the top part off like a long sleeved shirt, and then slither out of the rest.]

Edited 2021-09-04 14:01 (UTC)

[She does notice when he closes his eyes. Doesn't automatically assume it's a tell, but registers that it could be. After all, he's done such a good job up until now keeping eye contact, sitting confidently in this space she's invaded. Why stop now? It could be nothing, or it could be something.]

[The question becomes irrelevant pretty soon, anyway. The story's wild, but not any wilder than anything that's happened to her, really. She's got the childish impulse to blurt them out — you think that's bad, wait until you get a load of this — but of course she doesn't. She isn't stupid.]

[Instead she watches him, head tipped to one side, and thinks.]

. . . Thanks.

[That's as close as she'll get to acknowledging that he gave up a lot, telling her this. It's more than she gives most people.]

I think it's important, I'm just trying to figure out how. I understand most of how he talks about hope, but not all of it. And the way he talked about you when he talked to me, he didn't sound mad. He just sounded . . . confused. About him and me, and you, I guess.

[Her brain provides a word: Junko. She stomps on it.]

. . . It does kind of sound like bullshit, though. The part about thinking people wouldn't believe you without proof. Everybody here's a fucking freak but Steve. Sounds like a way to avoid doing something you really don't want to do.

[Her tone is nonjudgmental. It doesn't really matter to her one way or another. It would matter to Komaeda, though — she's almost positive of that.]

[Oh thank god, Ryou wouldn't have been able to keep himself out of Atem's business unless he was expressly and sternly told, because he really is concerned. He didn't realize that it was going to be so hard on Atem to pull off his own skin.

Setting his laptop aside, he turns and shuffles closer to Atem.]

I can do that, just give me a second. And lift your arms, please.

[If there's one thing Ryou is good at, it's metering his strength as a shade and keeping his touch safe. He hates hurting others. Once he finally does get himself situated, he uses one clawed fingertip like a scalpel, tracing horizontally across Atem's chest to start. He keeps it professional, determined to make this process as easy for Atem as he possibly could.

If he's granted access, he continues to cut the remaining diameter.

Deep enough to slice through the shed, but not nearly hard enough to break the fresh skin beneath. He has to be careful, no question.]

[He lifts them slowly, feeling the outer layer of skin pull in a way it shouldn't. It feels like it's going to tear, which is both something he wants and something he does not want, but Atem sets his jaw and holds still. He trusts that Ryou won't cut too deep; any breaking of the new skin will heal soon enough anyway. He focuses on breathing through it, even though each breath is uncomfortable.

(Soon, he won't have to breathe at all anymore. What will that change be like?)

Atem makes the small adjustments he needs to let Ryou get all the way around. Once it's done -- once there's a seam of loosening skin running around his chest like a layer of paint that's starting to peel -- he reaches for it with one hand, catching the part behind his left shoulder, and starts to pull it up, like he's taking off a long-sleeved shirt. There's tension in his voice, but it's not heavy as he says--]

After this, the bottom half should be easy...!

[Atem does not waste time on thoughts like not wanting to let go, or if Ryou had both his feet he wouldn't mind just being carried into the graveyard. He's not that kind of person! He lets them roll over him and off his back, and when the door's open, he slithers out and changes back.

He pays the driver and thanks him for his time, and the driver, a little pale from the subject of conversation, burns rubber as soon as both monsters are out of his car.]

...ah, I suppose we made him uncomfortable...

[ Steve's previous schedule of all-nighter, all-nighter, crash, all-nighter, all-nighter and so on was the result of too much energy.

Now, he doesn't have nearly enough, but there's something else keeping him awake. Sometimes, the dark takes him back to that reeking warehouse where he can't move, can't call for help. And the second it feels like he'll never escape, he's back in his bed, suddenly upright with sweat seeping down his spine. Thus, on one of the later nights in the week, when Steve chances returning to his apartment, Atem's door receives a soft knock in the AM. Steve's really glad to have so many neighbors with nocturnal schedules right about now.

When they arrive at the shelter after a short ride in the van, he glowers exhaustedly at the task board tacked to the wall of the break room, noticing a box left unticked. ]

Awesome, someone forgot to feed Tybolt.

[ The fridge he opens next isn't for employee lunches, because it's chock full of raw, red meat in shrink wrap. He must be spending too much time around Giorno, because without elaborating he just begins paring the bone away from a good-sized steak with a knife.

This is normal.

No, literally, it's incredibly nonsensical to be starting any of the shelter's several dozen plus cats and dogs on a luxurious raw diet now of all times, when it's kept afloat on a finite amount of charity dollars. ]

[Ryou settles back, out of Atem's way, once he's cut through the shed. One of his ears twitches downward, giving him a slightly disbalanced look. He's trying not to look concerned, and it's only partly working...but he can't help it!]

Be careful, don't pull too hard! I'm sure you'll have a healthy shed, b-but the snakes have scales, so when you pull, give them time to slip free, you're going against the grain this way...

[Concern! CONCERN!]

[??? ??

Ryou sure sounds worried, and Atem hesitates, the skin pulled halfway up his shoulder. He was just about to, like, work his shoulder and then his arm out of it.]

It should be okay, as long as it's the part of me that's skin...I can slow down when I get to the snakes. Do you think it's not going to be okay if it's pulled backwards? The scales don't really overlap...

[He pulls his arm tentatively. It seems to be going okay. It's not comfortable, but he gets the skin over his shoulder off, and from there, it's just a tube...]

[He's so glad to see Steve. The first time he saw Steve back, what happened started out as a hand on Steve's shoulder and sort of just devolved into a hug. Atem has so much going on, but when it's Steve knocking on his door, all projects get shelved, and Atem's more than happy to come along to Poundmates. It's been a while since he visited, anyway, what with the aforementioned projects, and also he's got friends to help calm him down, so he doesn't need to sit with the cats quite so much. He wants to see how the inmates are doing.

But when Steve opens the fridge and starts cutting up raw meat, Atem repeats:]

"Tybolt"?

[That's not the usual cat or dog food...there's a lot of raw meat in that fridge. This must be for something that doesn't eat kibble...but what?]

Who's Tybolt?

[Atem's imagining, like....a chimera. Something somebody requested from Mana, looking for a guard animal, and then they disappeared, so now Steve's looking after a huge tooth-and-claw unkillable monstrosity that's part bear, part tiger, part...what, shark?]

[Ryou takes his time getting out, since he doesn't really have much of a choice in it, then waits for Atem to pay the driver. He awkwardly toys with a lock of his hair, because he feels bad.]

W-well, he probably doesn't want to hear about how monsters feed, or deal with their problems. I can certainly understand that.

[He glances at the gates to the graveyard, then hops forward a little so that he can examine it. He's...not going to linger on the feelings of a cabbie who he might not even see anymore, or else it's just going to make this trip more somber than it already was. They weren't here for Ryou.

They were here for Steve. Nonetheless...he'll make it as easy as he can.]

So I guess we go in then? I'm surprised I never thought to come here on my own. Exploring Ryslig was something I'd wanted to do, but with the things that usually happen, I haven't had time to do so.

No, I don't think it's going to hurt them, I just want to make sure--s-sorry, I'm fretting too much, aren't I?

[This is probably way too much concern. He's overcompensating, when Atem is thoroughly capable of taking care of himself. Far more capable of doing so than his worrywart boyfriend.]

You're actually doing rather good with this. If you need me to, I can help with the rest of it...you know, when you get there.

[He does pass a glance over the freshly bared skin of Atem's body from underneath the shed. After seeing nothing but a faded, almost milky veneer over him, it's a bit jarring to see the skin in full saturation again.]

[Ryou hums to himself as he sits at the desk in his room, one tendril extended so he can lean his cheek against it as if it was his open palm, the other hand busily holding a small bottle of brown paint while he used his telekinesis to unscrew the cap.

Today...it's a day for him, isn't it? Too early for most, and most didn't realize anyway since Ryou was a bit private about it. He shouldn't have been, should he? He has so many friends here...why not tell them?

Well, the answer to that is...it's not important to anyone else, really. He's happy enough staying home and not troubling anyone.

Once he's opened the paint, he absently sets it down and reaches for a paintbrush, running the clean bristles over the tip of his tongue (a bad habit, but he's not feeling up to fetching a cup of water) before dipping it in.

Then, he starts to paint a rudimentary picture on a sheet of paper. A wide cylinder with a line in the middle and an oval underneath it. Idly, he paints 20 lines at the top of what's clearly a cake at this point.

Happy birthday.

He hopes Atem wakes up soon. Atem is his gift, at least that's how he personally decided it.]

[Eeeeasy does it....Atem slowly slides his arm out of the shed, down to where it was first cut, around the forearm. He's left with a loose, drying copy of his own arm, turned inside out. In a way that's half thoughtful, half distracted:]

I picked the widest point to cut it...I don't think I could have started at the top of my head, I'd never get the neck part wide enough to go over my shoulders...

[He notes the offer of help! He might take it. Atem might need Ryou to hold the bottom half in place while he slithers out, but first things first. He's got to sort out his other arm before he gets there. Atem hooks his claws into the skin behind his shoulder, and starts doing the same thing: work the shoulder free, pull the arm out backwards, over the elbow, then down the forearm and over the hand. It's not a quick process, but Atem's got steady hands, good coordination, and plenty of patience; it only tears a little bit at the shoulder where his claws are hooked into it.]

I'm really looking forward -- to having all this off.

Edited 2021-09-07 03:14 (UTC)

[Atem has ended up terribly entitled to being in Ryou's bedroom. He knocks on the door as a courtesy, to give Ryou the chance to tell him not to come in, but in the absence of a just a minute! he won't hesitate to step inside. There's something wrapped in cloth under one arm!

He spots the painting as he comes in.]

Ah...I was right! You're lucky we knew each other in the other world. Otherwise, I'd have no idea when your birthday actually was!

[The network post was a reminder, but Ryou hadn't been specific about the date on it. Atem had had to rely on what Adam knew to narrow the date down.]

Edited 2021-09-07 03:23 (UTC)

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9/1, 3am personal screen reader report?

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cw snake shedding this thread might get gross

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september 9th, post-fog

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Action, 9/2

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.