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Hhh.

[The shade claws cut right through the outer layer, and it feels -- it feels like he's put four or five layers of dried glue on his whole body and it's finally got a seam to peel from.

Atem sits up in the blankets, wincing -- being coveted in glue is not a good feeling -- and he realizes his eyes have cleared.]

Ryou -- Ryou, I'm going to need you to keep telling me what's going on with Maribel.

[He hooks his own claw tips into the open skin layer...and he starts to pull.

It comes up. Atem keeps pulling at it, cutting at its edges with a claw, and it looks like he's peeling off a tan glove, as the skin slowly separates from the new layer underneath, sliding up his forearm, his wrist, his palm, his fingers....]

Is a...is a tea party all she wants?

[Ryou didn't expect the skin to give like that and initially, he jerks his hand back and looks worriedly at the area he'd touched because he's afraid he might have cut deep. But...it looks like he's just created an opening to start the arduous process that Atem is going to have to go through.

The shedding has begun. And Ryou understands that it's uncomfortable, so he nods, glancing back at the laptop and browsing the entries on Annie's post.]

Ah, um. L-looks like Annie's not sure. She...heh. She said Marik owes her child support. And it...it looks like she's talking to the Ring-Spirit too.

He looks confused. That's about normal.

[Ryou finds his own conversation line and taps out another response. The only way to find distractions is to keep holding conversations, right?

He offers a glance towards Atem and his ears prick up a little in alarm because, uh, there goes Atem's arm skin. Is he okay? Does he...need something else from Ryou? Has his hair begun to shed as well??]

[He's looking at the break in skin on his arm, breathing in and out shallowly -- each breath expands his chest against his too-tight skin, which feels awful, and makes calming breaths impossible. His heart is going much too fast. Atem knows he needs to calm down and think about this...Ryou looks over and sees Atem staring at his own arm, trying to figure out the best angle of approach. It's much more complicated when you aren't tube-shaped....]

I have to ask you for something else.

Use your claws. Cut my skin just under the arms -- all the way around. I can't reach it myself, not well anyway, so you'll have to do it.

[If Atem were alone, he'd have difficulty with his back. He might accidentally scratch too deep. But if he separates his skin there, where his body is widest, Atem can take the top part off like a long sleeved shirt, and then slither out of the rest.]

Edited 2021-09-04 14:01 (UTC)

[Oh thank god, Ryou wouldn't have been able to keep himself out of Atem's business unless he was expressly and sternly told, because he really is concerned. He didn't realize that it was going to be so hard on Atem to pull off his own skin.

Setting his laptop aside, he turns and shuffles closer to Atem.]

I can do that, just give me a second. And lift your arms, please.

[If there's one thing Ryou is good at, it's metering his strength as a shade and keeping his touch safe. He hates hurting others. Once he finally does get himself situated, he uses one clawed fingertip like a scalpel, tracing horizontally across Atem's chest to start. He keeps it professional, determined to make this process as easy for Atem as he possibly could.

If he's granted access, he continues to cut the remaining diameter.

Deep enough to slice through the shed, but not nearly hard enough to break the fresh skin beneath. He has to be careful, no question.]

[He lifts them slowly, feeling the outer layer of skin pull in a way it shouldn't. It feels like it's going to tear, which is both something he wants and something he does not want, but Atem sets his jaw and holds still. He trusts that Ryou won't cut too deep; any breaking of the new skin will heal soon enough anyway. He focuses on breathing through it, even though each breath is uncomfortable.

(Soon, he won't have to breathe at all anymore. What will that change be like?)

Atem makes the small adjustments he needs to let Ryou get all the way around. Once it's done -- once there's a seam of loosening skin running around his chest like a layer of paint that's starting to peel -- he reaches for it with one hand, catching the part behind his left shoulder, and starts to pull it up, like he's taking off a long-sleeved shirt. There's tension in his voice, but it's not heavy as he says--]

After this, the bottom half should be easy...!

[Ryou settles back, out of Atem's way, once he's cut through the shed. One of his ears twitches downward, giving him a slightly disbalanced look. He's trying not to look concerned, and it's only partly working...but he can't help it!]

Be careful, don't pull too hard! I'm sure you'll have a healthy shed, b-but the snakes have scales, so when you pull, give them time to slip free, you're going against the grain this way...

[Concern! CONCERN!]

[??? ??

Ryou sure sounds worried, and Atem hesitates, the skin pulled halfway up his shoulder. He was just about to, like, work his shoulder and then his arm out of it.]

It should be okay, as long as it's the part of me that's skin...I can slow down when I get to the snakes. Do you think it's not going to be okay if it's pulled backwards? The scales don't really overlap...

[He pulls his arm tentatively. It seems to be going okay. It's not comfortable, but he gets the skin over his shoulder off, and from there, it's just a tube...]

No, I don't think it's going to hurt them, I just want to make sure--s-sorry, I'm fretting too much, aren't I?

[This is probably way too much concern. He's overcompensating, when Atem is thoroughly capable of taking care of himself. Far more capable of doing so than his worrywart boyfriend.]

You're actually doing rather good with this. If you need me to, I can help with the rest of it...you know, when you get there.

[He does pass a glance over the freshly bared skin of Atem's body from underneath the shed. After seeing nothing but a faded, almost milky veneer over him, it's a bit jarring to see the skin in full saturation again.]

[Eeeeasy does it....Atem slowly slides his arm out of the shed, down to where it was first cut, around the forearm. He's left with a loose, drying copy of his own arm, turned inside out. In a way that's half thoughtful, half distracted:]

I picked the widest point to cut it...I don't think I could have started at the top of my head, I'd never get the neck part wide enough to go over my shoulders...

[He notes the offer of help! He might take it. Atem might need Ryou to hold the bottom half in place while he slithers out, but first things first. He's got to sort out his other arm before he gets there. Atem hooks his claws into the skin behind his shoulder, and starts doing the same thing: work the shoulder free, pull the arm out backwards, over the elbow, then down the forearm and over the hand. It's not a quick process, but Atem's got steady hands, good coordination, and plenty of patience; it only tears a little bit at the shoulder where his claws are hooked into it.]

I'm really looking forward -- to having all this off.

Edited 2021-09-07 03:14 (UTC)

No, you're right. A human shape doesn't really lend itself to shedding, does it?

[Ryou can't help but stare at Atem as he works himself out of the shed. Watching the skin peel off is mystifying, and seeing the result is...perhaps a little distracting. Not that Atem isn't usually wearing very little, it's just...the movements and all that.

He can't help it. But he does try and avert his gaze from time to time. It's not his fault Atem has such high dexterity, alright?]

Then I'm glad I scratched it open. I was just trying to relieve your itching, but creating a seam was a good thing. Don't worry, it'll be over soon!

[He says it confidently, but it's definitely more to get Atem hyped than anything else.]

[Red eyes, having newly regained their ability to see, cut over to Ryou.

He, uh. He pretends not to notice Ryou was looking at him, and since Ryou doesn't have heat vision, Atem can hide the way his cheeks flush under his about-to-be-shed face skin. This suddenly feels a little bit more like taking off (extremely uncomfortable and unwanted) clothes, and as his fingers slip free one at a time, leaving a weird creepy facsimile of his right arm, Atem marvels again at how very down for weird things Ryou is. It's not a bad thing at all! But Atem wouldn't have thought about it if he hadn't read awkwardness from Ryou, since having shed shoulder skin and two arms hanging off Atem's shoulders like the worst scarf in the world isn't exactly--]

Ah!

[Oops. Part of the hand tears, at a weak point near the palm. It's okay, it doesn't hurt, but it reminds Atem not to get distracted, too.

Deep breath. He's got to refocus. The hard part's coming up.]

[Ryou sees the small tear and almost reaches out...but he's not sure why. It doesn't hurt Atem when that happens, the skin's supposed to come off! But there's his errant concern again, at the sound Atem makes, the tear...and the thought that he was going to have to pull the skin off of a pretty tough area now.

...Admittedly an area which Ryou is dying to see the skin peel off of but he is not going to telegraph that. He'll try very hard not to, anyway. But maybe Atem already knows what a total weirdo he is...]

T-take your time. There's no rush.

[He means that with the best intentions. He really does.]

[Keeping the skin in one piece isn't important to Atem; what made him make the noise was surprise at making a mistake. He's distracted, which, again, isn't a bad thing because it means he's not thinking about how he feels like most of him is still in too-tight dry glue, but he's still surprised it happened.

Okay. Okay, the neck is going to be tricky. Atem uses the claw of his forefinger again to cut the skin -- he traces along the edge of his jaw from ear to ear, then down the center of his neck. He pulls the two halves of his neck shed apart, then....

....he's going to have to pull his own face off.

It would be easier if he could shut his eyes. But he can't. The layer of eye he can see through again is going to have to come off, and Atem has to fight back intrusive thoughts of his whole eye coming out, like he saw Emily do for Horatio during the sacrifice-surgeries last month, like he felt the Storyteller do only two weeks ago...!

He swallows. His heart's going fast.]

You don't have any bright ideas for when I get to the eyes, do you?

[This is a request for help.]

[It's not exactly Ryou's business how Atem goes about removing his skin, he's just happy it's coming off as easily as it is. But...then there's the face. And Atem's been tolerant enough throughout this all that he's allowed to be upset about the eyes.

Even Ryou might be upset about the eyes. Maybe.]

I, um. I think you'll just have to pull up carefully. It's not going to feel right, no matter what you do...but it shouldn't hurt.

If you want though, I can do it instead.

[He reaches his hand out, places it on Atem's cheek and runs his thumb along the naga's jawline. He feels bad. He wants to be of comfort.

But the face shed has to come off. That includes the eye caps, which he's sure are seated right along the boundaries of Atem's eyes and liable to feel like an uncomfortable tickle when they're peeled away.]

[Atem doesn't want to pull his eyecaps off. He doesn't want to take off a very thick outer layer of what feels for all the world like cornea, that his mammal memories and instincts is telling him shouldn't separate from the rest of his eye.

But he feels a hand on his face, warm and careful, and Atem's too-rapid breathing slows. Underneath the eye-caps, like a leviathan passing below a clear layer of Arctic ice, his irises go to Ryou.

Atem doesn't think Ryou is sharing his pain right now, he doesn't see his own anxiety reflected in Ryou's face, and he trusts Ryou will ask first, but...the effect isn't all that different.]

I'll do it.

[But Atem's left hand comes up to where Ryou's is, on his face, and takes it, and grips it. He'd rather do this one-handed with Ryou's hand in his than use two hands alone.

He's not finding a way to get through this alone, this time. This isn't as bad as dying, isn't as bad as the fog form, because he's not by himself.

Atem's glad about that.

He sets his jaw and starts to peel it up. Atem doesn't want to do this. But did he want to stick his fingers in the scorpion sneaker? Did he want to bring a knife down towards his own hand, hoping it cut only the stack of bills instead of delicate tendon and bone? He'd chosen to put himself into those situations, that was the difference, but he's in this one now, and he'll have to find the strength of will to do it. Up, over the chin, over the nostrils, up the cheeks...]

Edited 2021-09-08 12:08 (UTC)

[Ryou nods, the corner of his mouth twitching in the ghost of a smile, because he feels as if he's serving a purpose in helping Atem gain the confidence for this. That's crazy to think, since Atem is fully capable of being confident on his own. But something about the way his eye refocuses under the pasty-looking scale over it...it makes him feel like he's part of the solution.

He watches silently, slowly adjusting his own fingers in Atem's grip so that they're holding hands more comfortably. Or as comfortably as possible, given that Ryou's hands are massive in comparison.

Come on, let him see those lovely eyes of yours.]

[When he gets close to the eyecaps, Atem's expression doesn't change -- it's just a set jaw and pressed lips -- but the hand in Ryou's tenses, grips harder.

He wants to blink, so much. He wants to close his eyes, but he can't. Instead, Atem keeps pulling. He grips Ryou's hand tight, and he feels the cloudy scales separate from his eyes, lifting up and away, without pulling either eye from his socket, and with one more pull, Atem brings the whole layer of skin up over his forehead and squeezes his eyes shut for a long moment. He's breathing quietly, but quick, and he lets go of Ryou's hand to drag his own down over his face, over the new skin, so sensitive it feels raw. All his snakes are huddled with one another, pulled in tight to his scalp, and Atem breathes out a long, slow sigh.]

I'm never being a snake for more than a month again.

Edited 2021-09-08 16:56 (UTC)

[As soon as Atem's face is pretty much freed of the shed, Ryou lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Snakes do this all the time. They don't lose their eyes or anything and yet he still had a Small Fear that something would maybe go wrong, that perhaps it wasn't humid enough in here and the eye caps would stick, and then he'd...have to find a set of tweezers--

Nope. He likes weird stuff and he'd totally do it. He'd pull Atem's eye caps off if the shed tore BUT...even Ryou would be freaked out about hurting someone he cares about if he's not careful.]

Ah...I'm glad you got them off.

[His thumb strokes the back of Atem's hand. He doesn't at all blame him for how hard he had been gripping. That was rough.]

Hah...well this place has a terrible sense of humor, so I'm sure if you had Mana change you again, there would be some catch. Apparently you have to be very specific. But...aside from your hair, you've gotten through the hardest part.

And..um. It's nice to see your eyes again.

[Is...is that what you say to someone who just had to take off his face skin to make him feel better??? He's trying!]

[It's probably thanks to Ryou's care, Atem thinks, through the tuning-fork ringing in his brain, through the too-recent memories of his experience in the dollhouse. It's probably because he was kept warm and moist, that this isn't going worse, that neither of them had to get close to eyes that can't close with fingers that end in claws.

But, the touch to his hand -- it pulls Atem further away from things that have happened to him before, that he's comparing to what's happening to him now. That's a lot of what Ryou does for him: Ryou gets him out of his own head, calms him down, and from a calmer place, Atem does better, is capable of more.

It's nice to see your eyes again does the same thing. The ringing quiets, because how's Atem supposed to stay in bad memories when someone he likes a lot is being this sweet? He can't help the flush in the skin below his eyes any more than he can help the twitching of the muscles around his mouth, up into one of the dopey smiles he gets sometimes.]

Can you help me with the next part? I won't be able to see it, and I can't control the snakes...I don't know how easily this will go.

It'll be fine. You might not be able to control them, but I believe we can coax them out if we're gentle about it. And if they protest over it, then I'll find something they can shed out from the front against. Maybe they still have instincts for it, even if they've never shed before.

[Ryou reluctantly pulls his hand away from Atem's, if only to reach for the seam of the shed and gently push it upward from Atem's forehead. He's just testing for now, to see if the snakes mind the backwards removal or not. He's fond of them and he doesn't intend to cause them any more distress than he would try to cause Atem.

If they don't like being shed from the bottom up, then he has other ideas! But he's not being forced to consider them quite yet, so...]

As much as I miss your hair as it normally is...I think I may well miss the snakes too. The fact that they are not able to be controlled is charming. They're just showing how you feel, after all.

[Compliments and references seem to make the snakes happy too! So he'll bribe them.]

They're a tell, [he says, with a note of complaint, as the closest snakes look down at the lifted shed in confusion. What's happening?] It's impossible to hide anything for long...I haven't been able to gamble at all...

[Most of Atem's lower body still feels uncomfortable and confined. But having it off his arms and upper chest and face means breathing's easier, seeing's easier -- the snakes are starting to uncoil. It's not pleasant -- it's like being in a very, very tight hat! But the pulling-up from his forehead promises relief.

One of the yellow snakes figures it out, and starts to scoot himself back out of the shed. It senses freedom, spots a snopportunity, and decides to take it!]

Maybe they are. But I didn't think it was so bad.

[Aww look at that, the blonde snake figured it out first! Very good, Ryou lets him wiggle out of the shed carefully so that the scales don't lift uncomfortably. His fingers start to wiggle under the shed, threading between the snakes and pushing up coaxingly. They have to decide to do this. Otherwise he runs the risk of damaging their scales.

Follow your buddy, guys.]

Wearing your emotions more openly can be a benefit too, Atem. It means your friends know that your motives are genuine. Maybe you can't gamble, but at least you were able to take a break. And at least people like Riley and I can tell just how much you care about us.

[He doesn't mean to bring up anything unhappy. But...he did notice how very attracted to Riley the snakes were at the investigation meeting. Atem feels a very honest, deep concern for her well-being. It's admirable. Ryou doesn't think the snakes tipping his hand in that case was so bad.]

Besides...in a few days, you'll be able to poker-face again like normal. No lasting harm done.

[Atem's eyes, newly freed and able to use their eyelids, go half-closed as the skin's pulled up and his snakes start to pull free in an uneven, slow, wiggly little wave, responding to Atem's desire to get out from under the shed skin-layer. It feels nice, pulling free, having warm shade-fingers between the snakes...like peeling off uncomfortable shoes at the end of a long day and having hands in your hair at the same time. It's the most relaxed expression Atem's worn in a full week. And that's why the petulance in his voice is muted, without any true hurt, when he replies:]

I'd have thought that was obvious, from the way I act around you both...

[Is he not making it clear that he loves them? Is...is willingness to punish and/or kill for their sakes coming off as insincere? Maybe it does, in a world where almost everybody is at least a little bit of a killer. But, really, it takes snakes he can't control to signal that he cares?]

Should I be making my feelings clearer, when it comes to my friends?

[Ryou's fingers twitch uncertainly, but he does to back to pushing the shed up. He wishes so much he had another arm, another hand, so that he could stroke Atem's cheek and let him know that Ryou was sorry...because he didn't intend to make it sound that way.]

No, no. You don't have to, it's just--I'm sorry, it isn't you. I promise. It's...just that you usually have a different way of expressing how much you care. There's a difference between your hair looking very interested in what's going on with something...which is, might I add, very um. Cute...but it's the difference between that and righteous fury. That is a different expression of care and sincerity.

But it was out of line for me to act like the snakes make a difference, given how you've treated me thus far. Especially lately, with the whole...you know. A-asking out thing. You have done more than enough to show people that you care.

...The snakes are just adorable, really.

[The snakes that are free look at Ryou! The ones that are not free try to wiggle free faster, so they can look at Ryou! Atem looks down.]

No, you might be right. It is different...it's not what I'm used to.

I've never thought of myself as being dishonest about my feelings, not with my friends...but it's true that I'm better at doing things for them, than...well, much of anything else! That was...how it was, for a long time...

[He's thinking about how he dies at the end. He's thinking about how he didn't really spend that much time talking with Jounouchi and Honda and Anzu, even though they all matter to him so, so much...instead, he came out, he fought for them, and he let Yugi take over.

Yugi.

It feels like...there's something Yugi needs, but isn't getting from him. Atem isn't sure what it is. The problem that needs solving is getting Yugi and Ryou out of Ryslig, and Atem cares so much about that, he's thrown himself into it every chance he's gotten that he feels has any kind of real shot at success...

That's. That's enough, isn't it? That's how he shows he cares, that Yugi matters, that Yugi's important, by making time to fight for him?

That's what he always did before.

So, why does Atem feel regret? It feels like...it feels almost like he did when suddenly, there were only minutes before Kaiba would be gone, and Atem realized that despite spending the better part of two weeks together and exchanging many, many words, all of the real things were still unsaid, and there was no time left to say any of them.

Is there something wrong with how he's been going about this? Is it like how lonely he felt when he saw Horatio draw him and Ryou and Celeste and himself around a table, and Atem realized he hadn't been at that table in months? Is he going to step through that door to the afterlife without a full heart? Finish the game, and leave?

The snakes are moving the way they do when Atem's thinking about lonely things, which is, they look for something to hide under. The close ones stick their heads under Ryou's hands; others do something similar with the shed, sticking their faces under the layer of snakeskin. They're getting in their own way, here, stalling out the shed's progress. It's a metaphor, but it's also very literal, and inconvenient, whoops.]

Edited 2021-09-10 00:09 (UTC)

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.

cw snake shedding this thread might get gross

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cw eye scream ideation

cw more eye stuff

even moooore eye stuff, with a hand stuff bonus round

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eyeeeeeee stufffffff

still more eye stuff. if this was an actual visual i'd be dying

this. this should be the last of it.

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