knifemonopoly | IC inbox

[His eyes flick up to her, red and dark-circled. Behind him, his shadow flickers -- grows across the floor, eyes aglow.]

It means that you should be prepared for the worst, always. Abilities can be taken from us at any time...most likely, at the worst possible moment, when they otherwise could have helped us. Like why a person can never save themselves in horror, no matter what they can normally do...

[No amount of skill will save you, if the script says you die.]

What happened to Ryou Bakura in Felfri proved that. He was on the Fog's side, but his boons vanished...just in time for him to be caught.

[He paid AM back for that, at least. But Ryou will never be the same, just like he wasn't after Morgenstern killed him, and the next thing that happens will break him further, and further, and there's nothing to be done to slow that down, much less stop it.]

Ryslig doesn't have rules, Nanami. Just the illusion of them. They can break against you at any time.

Edited 2022-12-01 12:44 (UTC)

What?...

[ She frowns a little. It's not that he's speaking nonsense - this is about the tenor of hopelessness she's sadly come to expect from him, since he and Ryou broke up - but something that he said doesn't add up. ]

That's not what he told me... a-and besides, it worked okay for me, when he helped me... are you sure?

[He looks at her, expression twisting.

Are you sure, she says -- as though he would do something like this if he weren't. If he didn't remember Ryou telling him that the powers Atem had embraced infamy for, had shouldered the lion's share of the burden for, had compromised his principles for, were made as useless as Atem's second sacrificed life -- taken away, at the worst possible moment, like they meant nothing.]

What do you mean...? Of course I'm sure. He told me he didn't have his Fog powers in Felfri. Even before he changed sides.

[He'd thought Ryou had. It was because of that that Atem felt confident leaving him alone...he'd been working so hard to trust that Ryou would be okay without him, something he needs to trust in order to be happy in the relationship, to not feel like he's trapped in it, and then the minute he'd turned his back, Ryou had been hurt in the way he'd been frightened of for over a year, was quantifiably not okay, had needed Atem, and the steps Atem had took in response...

...would only prove as useless as all the rest. He has to get out of the cycle, of AM and Morgenstern and all the Ryslig-monsters who hurt Ryou, scare Ryou, who depends on Atem, who hurts others.

He's sure. He remembers Ryou telling him this, that he didn't have his Fog powers in Felfri. He remembers.]

... Oh. That's-- that's strange.

[ She really feels like she messed up... especially with the expression on his face now. She goes back to her work at the cupboards, removing a couple of small cereal bowls and filling them with water at the sink. ]

He might have-- found out differently since, or something like that... a-anyway, he told me it worked, but-- um, not well enough.

[ Either there was a miscommunication somewhere, or Ryou re-evaluated and figured things out later... this feels like such a small detail, but Atem already seems distraught over it. ]

U-unless! Unless I'm misremembering! Sorry for bringing up a bad memory...!

That's not...

[He's staring, pupils contracted. It feels like his head's full of gauze. No, no no no, this can't be right. She must be misremembering.

But --

It worked, but not well enough

-- isn't the kind of detail that sounds like a wrong memory. It's specific. It's--]

That's not what he told me. It isn't -- [a short, sharp breath.] -- he didn't --

[Atem is suddenly staring intently at a patch of wall, without really seeing it. He's not looking at Nanami. His heart is racing, he feels like he can feel his blood in all his organs. Either she's remembering wrong, or he is...

...but he remembers it, remembers that Ryou said--]

[to say that what Horatio did during the Haze is weighing heavily on him is an understatement. he sends a very fine tea set to Atem's home in Dyster: delicate white china with a blue lotus motif. along with it is a simple note:]

Homer once said that "the sort of words a man says are the sort he hears in return”. But you don't have any cause or need to return mine: I'm sorry. - H

[The reply doesn't come for a few days -- not because Atem's holding a grudge, but because he's in one hell of a state, and is frankly still sorting himself out when he finds the note and tea set.]

Don't apologize. You didn't do anything that hurt me.

[ Well. She'd be inclined to keep digging, to figure out where the miscommunication took place--

But that doesn't matter. He's clearly going into panic. So she places the bowls down, and gently touches his arm. ]

Atem-kun. It's okay. It's probably a misunderstanding or something... can you look at me?

[The touch to his arm is like a jolt of electricity -- his whole face turns to look at her, in a movement that's more a twitch, a spasm, than a conscious choice.

Atem looks at her.

He doesn't know what this means.

Either Nanami is misremembering, or his memories are wrong.

He doesn't know which he wants to be true. It's too much -- it's like a tidal wave over a jetty. He can't calm down, can't think through it, can't piece together what is and what should be done, his mind isn't working right, he can't focus, it's too much--

--so, he just looks at her. He can look at her.]

Breathe, okay? Breathe in, breathe out.

[ She counts to five for him, to breathe in; and then another five, to breathe out. And again, and again. Whether he listens and follows her, or whether he doesn't. ]

You're with me, in Hill House. Reira-san and Sonic-kun are here too... but right now it's just you and me. Can you hear me okay?

[ Ground him, bring him back. Then they can deal with whatever's troubling him after. ]

....I can hear you.

[She sounds far away. But of course he can hear her. Atem reaches over and grips the hand that touched his arm; holding that seems to do better than anything else.

See-hear-feel-smell-taste.

He has to get it together, so he can actually think this through, and figure out what to do.

His eyes dart around the room. Five things he can see -- four things he can hear -- three he can feel --

Around three, he sinks back into his body, and his eyes go back to Nanami.]

...I know where I am. It's all right.

[Does it really only take that little, these days, to make him seem like he'll fall apart...?]

Uh, I embedded an axe between your hemispheres, Atem. Pretty sure that would have hurt.

Okay. Okay...

[ The faerie nods, and then pulls him into a tight hug. She's so worried about him... ]

You-- you might need to talk. Both of you. Whenever you feel-- feel up for it. I don't know... you don't have to, but-- I don't know. Maybe you should.

[ Even if they'll only be friends moving forward - that needs to be clarified too. ]

Ho ho ho! Your Secret Santa giftee is KATSUKI BAKUGO, and that's all you're getting. YOUR Christmas present is making the most of that riddle, you little gamer boy, you.

Buy or make Bakugo a gift by December 26, or Santa will come down your chimney and box your ears.

If you need more information, contact me C/O Hawkeye Pierce at Crowe Clinic, and I'll delegate him to tell you to do your own research.

Hawkeye, who on earth is that?

Did you really think I'd ascend to priest tier and leave myself that easy to kill? Really, there's nothing to apologize for.

[Atem's sort of the asshole here for not clearing it up sooner.]

Oh, Hawkeye's this guy I know at the clinic. Very helpful. Extremely handsome. Why do you ask?

[ Atem receives a surprise present from some green human named Foo Fighters! It's a squishy lump of red tissue paper containing two sweaters and a few rings/hoops to toss at one of them. ]

[Atem opens his door to a very green human.

The pooka with entirely-normal-to-Foo hair looks her over. Is that an early change? Or is it how she arrived, and she started out particularly inhuman? And why on earth is she here, with packages in her hands?]

....

....

You must be here for Ryou.

[He goes to turn away from the door, presumably to call his roommate over, and will, if Foo doesn't clarify.]

H
You
You know what I mean

Mr. Kringle.

[You can feel the moment Atem gives in and decides to play along.]

Who's this Bakugo guy. Do you know anyone he knows, so I can ask them about him?

[ Cheerfully: ] I have no idea who that is!

Santa said to bring Atem a gift, and Chiaki said Atem lives here - so is that you, or could you get him?

Edited 2022-12-12 03:31 (UTC)

Honestly, not really.

Chiaki Nanami signed him up. You could start there.

[Of course she knows him. That's helpful, actually.]

Got it. I'm on it, Mr. Kringle.

Ah...

[He blinks! So, this is his "Secret Santa"...

...he notes with a twinge of amusement that she's one of the two festive colors, but not the one usually associated with Santa.]

...that is me.

[He's taken by surprise; his frankly enormous tail twitches behind him.]

But I don't know you! We haven't met, have we?

[ FF stares at his tail for a moment after it moves - it's so big! - but after that moment she decides staring at what is clearly a monster-feature is probably Rude and she decides to try ignoring it instead, forcing her attention over to Atem's inquiry. ]

No, I don't think so! I'm new - well, new-ish by now I suppose, it's been a couple months...

...But my name's Foo Fighters. I started working for Chiaki over at Insert Coin. I hand out the prizes!

...Which is also sort of what I'm doing now, isn't it. [ She holds out the lumps of red tissue paper for him, beaming. ] These are for you! Happy... either Christmas or Nattensfest, there's some unclarity on which we're celebrating. Are they the same thing?

Edited 2022-12-12 04:26 (UTC)

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cw reference to torture, upcoming warning for unreliable/false memories, psychosis-adjacent episode

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cw panic

backdated to right after Red Haze

<Player1>

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<NeverAcorned>

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<KrisKringle>

<Player1>

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sometime between Dec-12 & Dec-23 (so you get to pick having a sweater or not for Catte)

WE THREADIN THIS LETS GO

<Player1>

/o/

<KrisKringle>

<Player1>

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.