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knifemonopoly) wrote2021-02-05 06:28 pm
knifemonopoly) wrote2021-02-05 06:28 pm
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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 *** PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1> If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message. | ||||
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--but all of that flies right out the window when Atem sees the scars. His eyes go wide, and he lets out an honest to god gasp. (The snakes all hiss at once.) That's not a tattoo. He knows what tattoos look like. This is something else.]
Those are--!
[Not "the Egyptian God Cards." Not "words I can read," although he can, they form in his mind even as he looks at them.]
...those are burns, aren't they.
[It's not said like a question. Receiving those...that must have hurt a lot...he knows what it feels like, now, to experience something like that.]
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so, all of Marik's brainenjoys that hiss. He has even managed to affect the Pharaoh's hair...!But he has a story to tell, one he's told himself countless times, told anyone who will listen (and those he has made to listen), a story that's supposed to be a secret yet he cannot contain. ]
Heated incisions. So the secret of how to reclaim his lost memories would be available to the Nameless Pharaoh, upon his return.
For three thousand years, the eldest son of the Ishtar family has borne this secret. And, to protect it and the two Millennium Items entrusted to us, been forbidden contact with the outside world. Beneath the ground. For countless generations....
[ A more self-reflective person might marvel at the mix of grim pride and disgust which that destiny still sparks within himself. Marik likes the idea of being part of something grand and all-sweeping, having something that elevates him and sets him apart. Makes him special.
But the particulars of the one to which fate assigned him.... ]
You ask me what the light is. For eleven years, I only knew darkness.
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Mouth dry, he asks--]
Was this done under my orders? Or -- my family's?
[Is this another sin committed by the royal family of Egypt, another atrocity Atem must shoulder the burden of, must make amends for? If it is, Atem will take it on himself, it's only right, but how many more people is he going to encounter who were wronged in such terrible ways?]
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[ It's...never occurred to Marik until just this moment that those aren't the same thing. That the nameless Pharaoh might not be the root cause of the tradition, even if he were to be the benefactor. Had any of the sacred texts indicated....?
"Rishid, tell me. Who do I hate for this?"
No. No, it was just... ]
It was fate.
[ Everything was. Wasn't it? Even his own rebellion had been needed, to make him fated to end the Tombkeepers' long service in the dark....But then, whose fate had it been to cast them into the darkness?
Didn't it all have to happen? If it didn't....
If it didn't, then that sniveling child he'd been at age nine had been right. "They say the pain is so bad you scream for a month! Why do I have to go through it? I don't wanna!"
Except that can't be. It can't. It has to have meant something! Or else, he...
Father.... ]
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...but for something like this...
No. Somebody must have decided that this should happen. Someone must have given the order to shut a family away in the dark for three thousand years, to scar the oldest male child, to hide them from everything and everyone...!]
...why?
[Why was that done?]
Why are my memories so important? What about them makes them matter more than--! Than your family's happiness? Why was such a terrible thing done, just to ensure that I would remember...?
[Who...? Who deserves to be punished for this? is one question in Atem's head, but the other...the other is, what is locked in my memories? To go to such extreme measures...is there some secret he knows, that he absolutely must get back? Or...was this simply done because he was a king, and because a family of tombkeepers was considered an acceptable price for the memories of a ruler? The idea makes him feel sick, it's precisely that sort of abuse of the weak by the powerful that used to bring the other Yugi out, to show the people who think they're untouchable that they're anything but. He, his family, they've all been complicit in terrible injustice, one crime after another. Even if there is a vitally important secret in Atem's memories, that's no excuse for this, for choosing a method of preserving the secret that's this needlessly cruel.
It's wrong, it's wrong it's wrong ḭ̶͑t̶̠͊'̴͖̇s̵̭̀ ̶͆ͅ w̷̼̿̊̽̊r̴̡̞̯͊̈͠o̴̞͌̅́͑͐ǹ̸̗͉͙͖͗͜͝ğ̴̦̔ ]
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He doesn't fully know what to do with this. Is certain he wouldn't have, before. And can't help but feel a faint whisper tickle his ear, telling him: this man did not do it. Did none of the things Marik had attributed to him.
Yet this man had forgiven him all of the attempted murder. Had learned of the committed murder and decided Marik was still worth saving. So he has to - now -
What is he supposed to -
Answer the question. It doesn't matter why it was asked. It doesn't! He knows the answer, so he'll give it, and then he'll...
How can he use this? How can he use this. (Out of the way, doubt.) He did this for a purpose. He has to get back on track..... ]
Your return was foreseen. We would know you by the Gods you wielded, and we would make you whole again.
Because you were our King.
[ And - that was it. There was never supposed to be an "after", for the Tombkeepers. Their reason to exist ended upon the Pharaoh's return.
Yet here Marik is. And here Atem is.
And he somehow has to pull this back around to Atem confessing to Ryou, which even Marik realizes is a little ridiculous, but that is in turn for the sake of this Pharaoh, returned to glory, liberating them from Ryslig, which is not.
But...what is this pressure from the Pharaoh, really...? What is this...reaction...? ]
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So. It's what he was afraid of, after all...
This was put into motion because Atem came from a place of power and privilege, and that meant that anything he needed would be given to him, even if it was carved on the backs of living people, of children! Because Marik...Marik's a Tombkeeper, someone who'd been given a great destiny and sacred texts handed down from ages past, but he doesn't look any older than Yugi, than anyone else. He looks like he should be in high school, not carrying around a dead king's destiny carved on his back! If anyone had done this to Jounouchi...to Anzu...
Atem's mind is awhirl, the empty, dark place in his heart (that's smaller now that his name is no longer lost to him and now that he's in a living body but which is still there) lapping at the shores of his mind. He can't help it -- his snakes' eyes go glazed, and he gives a humorless laugh.]
Heh heh. Heh heh heh...I'm sorry, it's not funny at all!...
[hey uh is the pharaoh entirely sane? that laugh makes it sound like he kinda might not be.]
But I was just thinking...if I did get my memories back, and I found out who ordered your family to live underground, without going outside, and to keep the secret to my memories this way...
...then, I'd never forgive them!
[Judgment, judgment is called for, here -- a trial of shadows -- but what penalty could be inflicted that would equal three thousand years of suffering?]
Heh heh...I bet they wouldn't be expecting that...
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[ Then....what....?
What is the Pharaoh saying? Can the one whom destiny serves despise the way destiny works? Isn't.....isn't anger on the Tombkeepers' behalf the same as saying Marik was....Marik was right for wanting revenge.....?
But Sister had said he had sought revenge so the Pharaoh could teach them of its futility.....that only suffering could come of such hatred....Sister wouldn't lie.....
Yet the way the Pharaoh looks now.......
Marik, the man, come into his own as Heir of the Tombkeepers, is completely at a loss.
Marik, the boy, who wanted to explore, for whom too much was never enough, is utterly entranced. ]
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Then you understand. Why nothing matters more to me than seeking the light.
[ He sighs. Phew! This had been weird. But it worked. Of course it worked! He tried it, so it worked. He's so talented. ] That's a relief. I'm glad you'll be confessing to...
[ huh? ]
Ryou....
[ why is his voice wavering
why does his head hurt
why are there tears
in his eyes ]
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(He's still not sure Marik doesn't like Ryou himself. Tears timing: suspicious!)
Atem slithers forward, putting both hands on Marik's shoulders, looking right into his eyes.]
The light...it never should have been taken away from you.
[He might have monologued further, if there weren't tears involved. Instead:]
I can't undo what was done. I wish I could, but I hear going back in time doesn't work like that! You can't make it so that bad things never happened...but, I won't forget it. I'll be here for you now! And, if anyone tries to do anything like that, ever again, they'll answer to me.
[punish them with a game of justice (and darkness!)]
wow self CW DISORDERED THINKING ESP OF A FAMILY ABUSE VARIETY
[ What. What. He doesn't understand. This is the most reassuring touch he's ever felt, the nicest things he's ever heard, and yet they're also horrifying. The Tombkeepers were....wrong? What happened to him was....bad?
But that's not right. He's the....he's the bad one. Marik is the bad one! He murdered his own father! That's unforgivable! The murderer of Marik's father has to be made to pay, but it was him, not the Pharaoh, but now the Pharaoh is saying that if he had...been there....
Fa....Father....
Marik opens his mouth to protest, but nothing comes out, vocal cords stopped by how badly he's always wanted to hear the light never should have been taken away. His Pharaoh - the Pharaoh they served -
His Pharaoh would have wanted him to live...
Above the....
"The fate of every human being"......
He can't. He just - he can't. His head hurts, like he's splitting in half again, but this time there's no one up there to take the pain for him. There's no one up there to blame, or disown. There's just Marik, and all the things Marik wants, and how none of the things Marik wants can happen at the same time, but he wants them all anyway, and it hurts, and nothing will ever hurt again, and he's so trapped, and he's so free. ]
Rishid.
[ He whimpers it, whimpers the person's name who will make it all better, then hunches over, bringing his own arms up around the Pharaoh's, grabbing at his own head. He can't...he can't.....
Father.......
Father it can't be.........
had Marik been.....
Marik had been.......
..................................right....................? ]
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No.
Better for Atem to let Marik experience this now, and work through it, and be able to be himself, than for Atem to use him. He won't do that!
But he also won't let Marik go through a breakdown alone. He doesn't know who Rishid is, if he's a good or bad figure, but Marik's clearly in his own head, and considering what Marik's been through, it's very probable that that's not such a good place.
(He has no idea!)]
Marik! Stay with me. Whatever you're thinking about, it isn't here! Look at me. Remember where you are.
[What helped Adam when Adam was stuck in circular thoughts, when he couldn't shake the fear of what had happened to him? Tea, something with a strong smell, and...
...the tip of Atem's tail hooks one of the blankets from the pile by the window. It's even a little warm from the weak sunlight! He brings it over, and puts it around Marik's shoulders. The snakes fidget.]
Remember what's true here! You're in Ryslig, in an apartment in Bavan. There's a game we have to win! You've got a plan, to beat the Fog!
[Atem's not sure it's going to work! But it sure is a plan Marik has, that Atem is going to follow!]
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He's warm. It's warm, and light, here. The Pharaoh is ma'at, is order and Justice, and does not want Marik to suffer. The Tombkeepers, all this time, have been -
No. That's the big confusing knot, that's the thing Marik doesn't understand, but does he need to understand it, right now? No. Because it doesn't matter. What matters now is vanquishing the Fog, and escaping Ryslig, and returning home, where he's finally...
(could he have been all this time?) ]
Pharaoh. When I...get out of here....
[ Not "if". When. Marik takes a deep breath. Tries to come back. No more darkness, ever again. It never should have happened.
He lowers his hands, shaking, then goes still. Firm. He has to know. What's important here? Escaping from Ryslig. Why's that important? Because of what comes after. He has to ask. The Pharaoh will know.
The Pharaoh will save him. ]
....will I be permitted.....to be free.....?
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As if that were ever a question!
I'm sorry the family you served...turned out to be capable of things like this... This isn't the only sin they've committed. I don't know how many more I'll learn about, before the end! The memories I'm supposed to regain must contain terrible darkness.
[But he might have to get them back, at this point...Atem needs to know who was responsible, who decided to send an entire family underground, force them to torture their children, and blame it on "fate." Just thinking about it sets off the kind of anger that comes with rumbling sound-effects on the panel. He's been slipping in and out of that rage for the last minute or two.]
But of course you'll be free. All of you -- any other survivors -- you'll be released from any obligation you had to me.
[Because, even if it's important for getting his memories back, any service the Tombkeepers are able to perform for him...that should be given freely, earned through friendship, not coerced through brainwashing and hurt and fear. If he can't earn their loyalty himself, then he doesn't deserve to have their help! Not after what they suffered, for him.]
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Rishid. Who do I hate for this?
He still doesn't know. But that person - Atem's ancestors? Tombkeepers of old? Marik is still having trouble imagining a person being in charge of this decision - they're the one who set Marik and his father on the course to tragedy. And hating them for that is....
Is okay?
And he's.....He's..... ]
Thank you.
[ He's free. Marik exhales, and three thousand years of torment sigh out alongside his breath. It never should have happened. It never should have happened! ]
Keh keh keh....Khahahaha....I have to get back. I have to tell my family!
[ Tell poor Rishid, who has never wanted anything more than to be one of them...
Tell his sister, who -
wait
wait if the Pharaoh never wanted, if destiny never wanted, any of this to happen
then Marik has been right to hate it all along
and his sister was wrong
Marik is GOING TO WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH HIS SISTER
HE'S ACTUALLY GOING TO BEAT HIS SISTER AT SOMETHING!
Marik laughs, liberated, and also kinda giddy. For some reason this seems like the funniest fucking thing. TAKE THAT!!!
...he does not realize he has started leaning on the Living Horus because remaining upright is kinda tricky right now. Oops. ]
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An arm goes around Marik's shoulders, and Marik will be guided down onto one of the chairs around the coffin table.]
You'd better sit down...
[Not that it isn't a lot for Atem, too. God. Heated incisions, again and again and again...some of his snakes twitch angrily, but the majority of the hissing seems to have calmed. Have a sit with a blanket, work through your feelings in this goth little apartment with its eyeball throw pillows and mismatched skulls.
Maybe? Maybe now they can work on using his name? Atem? Not "Pharaoh"?
...
Maybe he should give Marik a little more time to process. Soon, though! He thinks it'll help with the whole...cult...thing.]
cw child abuse & its psychological aftereffects
The Gods were right...I could never. Have assembled them. [ Could never have held the power of a King. ] But they came to you, even here...
[ It's going to be okay. The Pharaoh is here. With his skills and Marik's brain, there's nothing they can't do. He can figure out what to do about....the whole circumstances with his father....later. They only have so much time. Until Yugi eats souls. Until Marik - whatever happens to Marik, happens. Until the Fog regains her strength.
....he killed his father and now the Pharaoh is saying the urges that led him to do that were right and he doesn't know what to do with that because it feels good and killing your father isn't supposed to feel good it's, like, the one kind of killing Marik can't condone in pursuit of a goal, but he wants absolution so badly it hurts, wants it all to....
....burn...?
In the sun, that must be it. In the sun. ]
I could have never been worthy....Not with....
[ He stares at his hands. Someone pitted him and his father...against each other? If he'd never had to live down there, then he never would have resented it....
....how is he supposed to avenge a death when he doesn't know who the cause is? ]
...but I'll help you. If you're ever able to go after the people who did this to me. Us. My family.
I'll do anything....
[ his father is dead. ]
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What it takes to be worthy of gods...I wouldn't worry about that. It doesn't matter -- not here! What matters is what you decide to do.
The identity of the person who did this...is it possible that it's hidden in my memories? If I remember the past...will I know?
[A friendly, companiable, clawed hand on Marik's shoulder. It's encouraging, and it's supportive.]
If I do find out...I'll tell you. Of course I'll accept your help! It's a very real possibility that whoever it is is long dead. But if they're not...if they're like me, and the survivor of the Kul Elna sacrifice...then, they'll pay for what they've done. I promise!
I've never come up with a penalty game for something like this before...but I've got time, don't I? Don't worry, I'll think of something good.
[8D]
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The other Tombkeeper, then? Shadi? Or someone he's met here...? Wait, with the context, "like him and the survi---" ]
The Spirit of the Ring is from Kul Elna?
[ He sounds baffled. There is fucking nothing in Kul Elna. What's more, the Spirit of the Ring used to be human, like the Pharaoh?
This is a silly thing to be fixating on when there's all of...the rest of it....to worry about. A punishment worth three thousand years of servitude. Of captivity. Captivity of not just bodies, but minds, hearts--!!
Marik may be focusing on the one thing here not directly relating to his situation for a reason, and that reason is escaping him. ]
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The other part is the dark god the sacrifice was made to. I'm not sure how it happened, but somehow, what got sealed into the Ring is both of them at once!
[Pretty fucked up!]
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But that's -
[ HUH. So much for a change of subject not involving getting his mind reblown.
This one is easier to take, though. So Kul Elna....was the site of a great sacrifice. He wishes he could ask Sister what might have made it such an exceptional spot. But that was never in their texts either, was it? The Tablet of the Pharaoh's Memories was in Kul Elna because that's - that's where it was.
...Doesn't matter. The Ring-Spirit being from the same time period as the Pharaoh makes sense. Especially since he also collected Items...yet does that mean that - that Marik's theory about the Millennium Items being tools of a great darkness -
If he ends up having been right about everything, he is not letting anybody contradict him, on anything, ever again. He wants the past few weeks at home he spent hating himself back now! Gods! He was right to hate whoever trapped them beneath the earth, and he was right there was something fishy about the Millennium Items! EVERYONE SHOULD ALWAYS LISTEN TO MARIK ISHTAR: MORAL OF THE STORY. ]
- I see. [ Marik is able to smile! Something about this is a little bit funny.
Namely, the last time he saw the Ring-Spirit, said horrifying amalgamation of evil incarnate had gotten his nose broken and was calling a man in goblin cosplay something Marik is increasingly certain was "Dad". ] He's gotten sloppy in his old age.
[ Come ON, dude, if you're going to be an ancient spirit of untold terrors, the least you can do is like. Win a card game now and then. For fuck's sake. ]
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Or are you talking about the broken nose he had two weeks ago?
[Atem sure seems concerned about someone he'd just called "half evil god."]
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And right now? With his world in pieces within his head and his scars useless against Atem's blanket, in the face of the ruins of the Gods? Mocking the Ring-Spirit sounds fantastic. ] I helped and he still hasn't recruited more than five people....
[ and one of the people lies on the floor all the time....and one of the people is "dad"....the other three seem competent enough though ]
I'm willing to support his endeavor as a backup plan if dueling falls through, but I shudder to think how he's fared without me.
now that I know he doesn't go to the penthouse.....
...
Do you mean what he was talking about in Rota a few weeks ago? He's actually managed to sway a few of them?
[Completely unconcerned that the Ring-Spirit and Marik are running an offshoot group of monster worshippers. Because RS and Marik are his friends! And also, RS legitimately appears to be a better cult leader to follow than Tage.]
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[ Five. He has five. Four Tage and one girl who just sort of...showed up...? One day? Marik is still learning the details but he has a feeling that when he gets the whole picture, he's going to have another reason to laugh at the Ring-Spirit. So he likes that cultist. ]
The angle we're going for is "truth". True facts about the Fog, living in a way that's true to who or what you feel you were born to be...
[ He almost has a moment of introspection, but he's done that enough today, and his brain is tired. He sniffs. ]
Their last leader made them all dress like waldgeists. No imagination.
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OH MY GOD RS'S BELLA IS IN THE SUBCULT?? omg
the mods said "5 humans, half are traitors", so, 2 real converts, 2 traitors, 1 fangirl....
amazing.
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