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knifemonopoly) wrote2021-02-05 06:28 pm
knifemonopoly) wrote2021-02-05 06:28 pm
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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 *** PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1> If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message. | ||||
<Player1>
This is very much, and the other Yugi does have to take a second, through his own just-revived weakness, to deal with it all. To bring back the memories of the guesses and conclusions he drew, about the way the two of them were, and the way they are now. He can't work up the personal pride to be satisfied that he guessed right, which should itself say something about how he feels about what happened.
He remembers how he'd thought about how, if he'd done something so terrible that Yugi wanted nothing to do with him, he would still want to look in on him, make sure he was all right, protect him every way he could.
Mostly, he's not speaking to this guy until he's spoken to because of all of the 1000 BCE bad blood; he's not sure how to approach that. But his memories of the god-survivor are mostly Ringu; there's healthy caution, because he's real unsure of the dark god, and also because of how Ryou said he was treated as a partner, but the empathy for the situation is stronger.]
we're in contact.
he wasn't taken.
he noticed the one in me in time, and left.
<GODKING>
The Ring-Spirit can't bring himself to be annoyed that he noticed this even before he fully registers what ought to be much more important, that Ryou... hadn't been possessed (good), is currently still alive (good), had had to flee his possessed friend at one point and probably so much other shit and Ryou doesn't DEAL with his own problems outside of - ok first of all: calm the fuck down.
The Ring-Spirit has to stop and tell himself to breathe, tell himself to consider the information and then decide what to do. Or... no, it's more like "decide what needs doing and how much of it he can actually DO", isn't it. There are significant limits to what he can do involving Ryou that won't just make it all worse.
Shit.
...His actions involving the pharaoh don't have that restriction, and the pharaoh doesn't operate under that restriction with Ryou. Helping the pharaoh out under these circumstances is really just a roundabout way of helping Ryou. And the pharaoh very clearly needs help - the pharaoh can't help Ryou like this.
It's not like seeing
Adamthe pharaoh like this hurts, because the pharaoh isn't Adam and "Ringu" isn't even real.Once the other Yugi sends his response, there's a significant wait before he receives a response in turn. ]
where are you and what do you need.
<Player1>
It's just the complicated parts now.
Just the fact that he has dreamlike sense-memories of saying, doing horrible things to people he cares about. Just feeling like he'd had someone in his head who he'd trusted, who'd used him to do those things. Just being horribly wrung-out, sending messages and apology notes under doors for the people whose network names he doesn't know, because he can't stand leaving things unbalanced but he doesn't know how to fix this...
...and just Ryou, who'd taken a kind of injury the other Yugi doesn't understand, one that made him go strange.
He knows he should be cautious bringing this guy into matters involving Ryou. He's certainly not going to tell where Ryou is! But...the harpy's been in Ryslig longest out of the three of them. Maybe he'll have heard of something similar that happened to someone else.]
information.
do you know of anything that can make a shade
stop caring?
about things that used to matter to them
[
pharaoh, that's depression]<GODKING>
Not what the Ring-Spirit was expecting to hear, and also deeply concerning! ]
no. nothing unique to being a shade. a lot of weird shit happens here pretty often, but if it's *only* affecting him
[ The Ring-Spirit breaks off there, because he doesn't know what it would be. That doesn't really... sound like a thing Ryou does? Ryou represses and explodes, he doesn't really do numbness. ...Does. he...??
(...Hope you didn't think you were being subtle about the "who" here, Pharaoh.) ]
fuck, all I've got is "something's wrong". really wrong.
<Player1>
i'll ask lust, too.
[She's been here for ages and has seen a lot of things -- maybe she knows what happens, when a shade takes the pain of someone who's dying. Maybe she can assure him it won't be forever.]
<GODKING>
[ Yknow, identifying other people's problems and figuring out what can be done about those problems, that kind of thing.
it's called therapy, RS]if we both ask, we might get slightly different insights, end up with a clearer big picture. got anything more specific for me to give him? I'm finding the details can make a big difference in shit like this.
and while we're at it:
what do YOU need.
there's something really wrong with YOU, fucker.
[ Don't think for a second the deflection part of that worked, Pharaoh. The Ring-Spirit lived inside Ryou's head for years, and also simply is who he fuckin is - he's fluent in deflection. ]
<Player1>
Oh, god.
Oh god oh god no he doesn't want to talk about this but GODKING is right, if he can give details that'll be better, he's got to own up, he has to--
He sits back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling, for maybe twenty, thirty seconds, resigning himself to what he's got to say.]
i need a cheat-code for reversing time and warning myself away from where i got infested, so that my friends wouldn't be attacked by the thing in me
and so that ryou wouldn't have tried to take my pain as i died
and then felt empty, ever since.
like space without stars, he said.
like there's no path that's right.
you can tell noa that.
if you have the cheat code, i'll take it
[How would he feel if Yugi had done that? For someone who had hurt him, as badly as the pharaohs had hurt the people of Kul Elna? God, GODKING will, very likely, regret his offer of help.]
<GODKING> 1/3
That's - oh. Well, fuck. ]
<GODKING> 2/3
The Ring-Spirit. needs a minute here. he just. Why is Ryou LIKE this?! And then the "cheat code"! Just - reverse time and redo outcomes?! Hahaha, like that doesn't hit him right in the Memory World game,, THIS IS ENTIRELY UNFAIR,
How dare both of you, he is so angry. ]
<GODKING> 3/3
I'll pass that on. sounds like it's partly a shade thing after all.
[ Does he still...? Ugh, yeah he does, shit. ]
if there's a way to technically help someone else that'll completely fuck Ryou over, he'll FIND it and use it as a first recourse. it's
just what he does.
[ This would be the perfect incident to weaponize and keep hanging over the pharaoh, and the Ring-Spirit can't. It's so... ugh. HE HATES EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS!
IF ONLY HE COULD JUST STOP AFTER THAT MUCH! ]
if time worked that way, I'd know by now. you can revise events and their eventual outcome, but you can't make it so the first version never happened. I think you might recognize there's a difference between the two.
I think we need to meet. if you won't tell me where you are now, give me another time and place.
<Player1>
...he reads it, and uncurls a little more.
Unexpected.
But many things about this conversation have been unexpected. (How much does GODKING know about time? That reply makes the other Yugi wonder.)
...
He's willing to meet. The apartment's out of the question, because of Ryou (even if he wouldn't mind too much at the moment, he definitely would (if?) when he gets his emotional gears turning again. But...he types out a reply. The sun's up now, he can't leave until it's down, but as soon as it is...]
central park, 10th st entrance, 9:45pm
[...he'll be there.]
<GODKING> -- > [action]
that works.
[ The Ring-Spirit arrives ahead of time, because he really doesn't want to be surprised by some kind of "Foggies are allergic to this area" nonsense. He spends some time testing the area around the gate; eventually, he's satisfied that he won't be surprised by the effects within, merely incredibly inconvenienced - so much for his ability to make use of the place himself.
So, he puts some distance between himself and the entrance before proceeding to stand and wait. He's close enough to be easily locatable, just. yknow. not real close to the gate. ]
[action all the way down]
And the bats start to come out.
The ring-spirit may know a thing or two about Bavan's local bats. Who knows! But he certainly knows what an Egyptian tomb-bat looks like. It's not greatly different from the locals in size or shape, but depending on how sharp the thief's vision is, he might pick out a familiar face.
It makes a pass over the street, taking in the area, making sure the person it meant to meet is there, making sure there's no one else --
-- and then it swoops for the gate, and with a little puff of displaced-too-fast air, the pharaoh stands in the smooth stone archway, leaning against one of the pillars as though going inside wouldn't be painful, if not fatal, for him.]
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As the bat switches back to being the pharaoh, the Ring-Spirit makes a small mental note to. maybe. pay just a bit more attention to bats in general, in the future. There's more than the one vampire in Ryslig and no he's not embarrassed about such an obvious oversight, what, MOVING ON,,
The Ring-Spirit examines the pharaoh before doing anything else - sure, the guy's clearly going for his usual cocky arrogance, but how well is he managing to pull it off? Ambient lighting might less than ideal, but at this distance it's good enough for a harpy. How together is the pharaoh's posture, his expression? Is there ANYTHING the Ring-Spirit can leverage to change his own mind?
He speaks after a moment, staying right where he is and continuing to watch the other closely. ]
Do you know why I needed to see you in-person?
[ Now to listen for cadence, tone, word choice - there's got to be a way out of this for the Ring-Spirit, there's got to be something. This is the pharaoh. He'll fuck up. He's got to. ]
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Which is weird, because he is always ready to fight.
Normal, for the pharaoh, is ready to go at a moment's notice, like a struck match that just needs something flammable to get close enough to him to start a real fire. His baseline is fierce protectiveness, not calm acceptance. But that's where he is.]
I assumed you had something to tell me, something you didn't want to leave a record of on either of our computers.
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This is the opposite of what the Ring-Spirit was hoping to see.
Why. Why does this keep snowballing. The Ring-Spirit can't stop himself from pulling a face. Pharaoh you had one job, ]
...Not quite.
[ He makes a disgruntled noise, something closer to avian hissing than the growl it might otherwise be.
Frowning, he walks over to the pharaoh, coming to a stop only once they're quite close. He glares down at the pharaoh, willing something more to show up - he doesn't even care if eye contact with a vampire is incredibly stupid. ]
I suppose I've got something to say as well, but talking really wasn't the goal.
[ - do something, crack, fuck this up already - ]
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The pharaoh, however, jumps to something else.]
...revenge, then?
[There's a flicker of life in his eyes. There's still fight in there, but...more calculation than resistance, more weighing costs and odds.]
Ryou wouldn't have done what he did if the parasite hadn't caught me. If our positions were reversed, and Yugi hurt his heart for someone who'd wronged me, I'd be furious!
I've still got one more death before I start to lose my memories. Is that what you're after?
[Is he about to feel sharp, wicked claws in his heart?
It'll be the second time this week.]
1/2
...Frankly, he looks disappointed. Then he sighs, sounding more resigned than anything. ]
Fucking hell, I wish.
[ The Ring-Spirit bends in closer, and if the other Yugi doesn’t interfere - ]
2/2
...Even if he doesn’t go back to normal, Ryou still exists - he might be different, but he’s not gone. He didn’t fucking blow up his own damn soul, and it’s not even your fault.
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He's -- waiting for pain, actually.
Which doesn't come.
Instead, he's told, it's not even your fault and he's not gone, and he should probably wonder if this is some kind of trap, but there's part of him that trusts someone with this voice, knows it, recognizes it, and--
--his eyes shut.
He gives in. Small shoulders, determined to carry whatever they need to, even if it's the whole world, relax. The hug's not returned, exactly, but it's leaned into, and, yep, those are hands that've come up to the sides of the harpy's shirt, and grip it, until it's pulled away from, because it is, it is, it is his fault, and--!
In a tone that's more upset than any the Ring-Spirit has heard up until now, either into a shoulder if the hug lasts more than a second or two or just after it's broken if it doesn't, he says:]
I have to help him. I'm trying, but -- I don't know how.
[Is blowing up his soul something Ryou has done...? What the heck, man, how? That's a question for later, though.]
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That other is also not exactly pleased with the situation or any of the parties involved here - why couldn't the pharaoh have just done something, anything, to recall the hate that's supposed to prevent this kind of bullshit? The hatred's important! He needs that?? This was avoidable.
The Ring-Spirit doesn't hug people. He's not entirely sure how to stop... or. entirely want to, really,,, It's. kind of. nice to hold somebody like this? He can't forget who this somebody is though, ugh.
Then
AdamNOT!Adam speaks, in that tone and... Really, the Ring-Spirit ought to be happy to hear the pharaoh so distressed. That he keeps thinking about Adam by accident shouldn't affect that, it's got no business doing so. He doesn't want it to. ...He doesn't, right...?He also doesn't want to let go of even this somebody now though, fuck. ]
...I don't have advice. I never know either.
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And he doesn't deserve it, does he? He does not deserve to be held and supported, after...!]
I'll keep looking.
[That's a promise, because all he can do is promise, right? Promise and keep trying?
His hands tighten in the fabric they're gripping.]
I should have found a way to stop it before it came to that.
[He'd tried, but...but his friends had still been hurt. He feels like he should have been able to control it, bring it back, hold it still at least. There had to be a way, had to be a solution, and he hadn't found it, which means he lost!
No, he can't. He can't accept this. He lets go, pulls back, pulls away, because if it's not enough that Ryou gave him a peaceful death he'd had no right to, it's definitely too much to get to feel better because of this Very Complicated Other Guy deciding to hijack your feeling-better brain chemicals without permission. He angles his body away, addressing the other monster half over his shoulder.]
I should have--left things alone, I could've avoided all of this if I'd been less careless--!
[He says "less careless." He means, "psychically known that two parasite events in four months wasn't particularly unlikely and that his habit of going places alone and investigating an animal he's attached to would lead to infestation."
Someone's got to understand that, right? People keep saying "it's not your fault" and "I don't blame you" and "we understand," but they're wrong, and surely, surely this guy will recognize that all this only happened because the pharaoh hadn't made the right play a week ago, hadn't figured out a way to twist the rules in his favor in time, had failed! And people were terribly hurt in ways he can't remedy!
Please, like, blame him. At least a little bit.
Because, while it's good that his friends aren't mad at him, the alternative to blame is there are things in Ryslig you can't predict, control, or win against, and, uh, that's way too terrifying to think about. He's rejecting it out of hand.]
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Tch!
[ Also, that attitude? It's one that pisses him off. If he can adjust to playing a long game, so can this asshole. ]
"Coulda shoulda woulda" - that's not how you fucking play this game, Pharaoh. No one - not you, not me - wins every round. You keep going, keep playing - every round that ends with you still existing is a round that's followed by another. Playtime spent on reviewing your ~score~ in the last round is playtime lost in the current round.
Who still exists? The point's not getting a perfect score, it's staying in the game. If you get this fucked up over not 100-percenting ONE round, you're going to fucking lose the GAME.
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I know!
[This guy's speaking his language, the other Yugi understands exactly the kind of strategy advice he's getting, and it's good advice, the Ring-Spirit's right, the point is to stay in the game, to get to the end with as much of your heart (memories, sanity, relationships) as you can, and dwelling is lost (wasted) time.]
But if I don't identify what I did wrong and why, then I'm not prepared to stop it from happening again!
[Something he can't put his finger on, about pushing away but being held in place anyway, is emotionally reassuring. He's not examining it, he's too busy talking furiously and intensely about game strategy.]
So, I have to review it, before the next round comes up.
[Fog. Arrivals. The mid-month event. It's like clockwork: he's got a week to breathe, and then...]
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You can't have a flawless strategy in place for every possible scenario. Trying to have ~the perfect solution~ for an infinite number of might-happens doesn't help, it paralyzes - and you're still not listening.
Who still exists, Pharaoh?
You're so focused on not clearing with a perfect score that you're ignoring the fact you cleared.
[ Welcome to what winning looks like for Normal People, o Divine King. It's a very mixed bag. ]
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