knifemonopoly: (tripping out)
̷A̷t̷e̷m̷ ([personal profile] knifemonopoly) wrote2021-02-05 06:28 pm
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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1.

FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01

*** PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01
<PLAYER1> If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.
 
 
Main handle: < Player1 > Anon: < turtleluck >, < actuallydied >, < burner >
softspokenlandlord: <user name=raptorscribbles site=tumblr.com> (ryoushade12)

[personal profile] softspokenlandlord 2022-03-09 05:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ryou generally doesn't mind if Atem mists around him. Part of him is comforted by the gesture, but right now, with his negative emotions riding high, the only thing he can think of is to lash out.]

Do you think I'll hurt you? Is that why you're staying this way? You don't have to be afraid, I'm not any kind of authority on being a shade. I'm hardly enough of a shade to be giving advice!

[Another item slams against the door, before clattering against the wall.]

Maybe I should stay like this. Forever. That's only fair, right? The suffering of others...I should suffer it too.

[He knows it's dramatic. But he's angry, so angry, and he can't stop it.]
softspokenlandlord: (54)

cw; possession

[personal profile] softspokenlandlord 2022-03-09 08:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ryou's initial thought when the tendrils start to creep forward is to think to himself that Atem's showing off, he's doing better with his tendrils than Ryou ever could.

But that thought doesn't stick--because Atem doesn't do things to show off, and Ryou knows it. It starts to break through the anger, just a bit, like someone chipping away at a glacier with an icepick.

The items floating in the air stop dead when Atem offers himself to Ryou, however. It's as if someone's hit the pause button on the world, and the only thing that's alive is those big white eyes of his, the undulating strands of his hair, and his boyfriend, offering his body for possession.

Ryou would normally ask "are you sure?" or forewarn Atem of the emotional ramifications, but he doesn't this time.

"Be a shade."

Very well then. He'll be a fucking shade.

An intangible hand raises, presses itself to Atem's chest, moving through the other monster's hand to do so. Shortly after that contact is made, the rest of Ryou follows, slipping in like smoke caught in an exhaust vent, finding a home within Atem's body.

He feels...small. Like he's hiding in a corner, rather than spreading out.

But no matter how small he feels, the emotions border on overwhelming. Ryou can't even feel Atem's, he's too lost in his own.

Anger. Insignificance. Frustration. Wrong. WRONG!

Vengeance. Make everyone pay.]
Edited (lil tiny addition) 2022-03-09 20:44 (UTC)
softspokenlandlord: (dsod38)

[personal profile] softspokenlandlord 2022-03-10 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
[Ryou doesn't speak much, doesn't assert himself in this possession. He just feels, and therefore makes Atem feel. It feels like he's curled around Atem's heart, like a snake that just wants to be loved and cared for but still manages to coil around its owner's arm and cut the circulation off.

This is what it means to be a shade. To be horrid and awful and full of spite.

Not all the time...but with growing frequency, Ryou gets caught in this exact feedback loop. And eventually, between Atem's words, he mutters his own, rasped quietly past Atem's lips.]


They don't.
softspokenlandlord: (2)

[personal profile] softspokenlandlord 2022-03-10 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
[Ryou does derive some level of comfort from what Atem is doing, but he still doesn't feel calm about any of this.]

I wanted to help... but I can't. Because...s-somehow I messed it up...

[How does he always mess it up? He just wanted to be a good shade mentor while he was stuck home.]
softspokenlandlord: (147)

[personal profile] softspokenlandlord 2022-03-10 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
[Ryou reflexively looks over at the laptop, and there's a coil of superhot rage that is so very unlike Ryou that it's probably jarring. As if the rest of it wasn't.

...He doesn't say anything. But that's almost answer enough.]
softspokenlandlord: (30)

[personal profile] softspokenlandlord 2022-03-10 07:49 am (UTC)(link)
[The sound of the laptop being shut so forcefully...is actually somewhat cathartic for Ryou as well. It helps that Atem's feelings are starting to bleed into his own, and that he's being touched. Comforted.

Even though it's basically just Atem holding himself...Ryou feels as if he's being hugged and touched.

He glances up, because that's the way their head's moving, and he listens. It's easy to let Atem talk, to hear the voice echo in their head in a way that's different, because hearing someone's voice from the outside is one thing, hearing it from the inside seems to have a different resonance to it. It's how Atem hears himself, huh...

Most importantly though...he gets it. He understands why it's hard for Ryou. He'd just been trying to extend an olive branch, and yet...it had been snatched from his fingers, thrown to the ground, stamped and spit on.

But Atem knows.]


I didn't want to hurt Lila. I know...she's important to people.

[Ryou just wants to feel important to people too, sometimes. But...he doesn't.

The thought of it makes him feel very, very lonely. But he fights that by taking control of one of Atem's hands, running fingers through his--their--hair.]


I'm sorry that I jumped into you like this. I'm sorry for what I said before I did. I just...nnh. I just felt...like who I am, what I can do...it just makes people angry. And it made me angry.

[He's still angry, but that layer is peeling back, revealing more of his loneliness and self-doubt, rather than the bitter, unforgiving part of him that's powered by his monster type.]

I want to be.
softspokenlandlord: (46)

[personal profile] softspokenlandlord 2022-03-10 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[Touch grass?

Ryou's been listening to everything Atem says and he takes it on board, understands that Lila is only lashing out because she's...jealous? Of Ryou? That's almost stretching credulity, even if Ryou can touch things.

But he has to ask:]


What do you mean...touch grass? Does that mean...forget about this?

[He doesn't think he can. It's settled in his heart and soul like a poison, just like Gabriel Morgenstern had. He wants to tell Atem how exhausting it is, feeling like people just don't like him, over things he can't control.

But that, he doesn't say.]
softspokenlandlord: <user name=raptorscribbles site=tumblr.com> (ryoushade10)

[personal profile] softspokenlandlord 2022-03-10 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[Right...right.

Don't let it be worse than it is. That's right.

Ryou draws in a long, deep breath, then exhales it slowly, softly from their mouth. He has to be calm.

(he is not calm. atem can probably feel how not calm he is)

He just has to bring it in. Close it all up and be okay. Just pull it in...don't think about how what was said hurt. It's not important. It's not the main focus.]


...A party. This weekend?

[Ryou has to think about it...but he can't think about it like this. So...

Slowly, reluctantly, he slips out of Atem and reconstitutes as a shadow. He's not solid right at the moment, just a black amalgamation with sad, half-lidded eyes. He doesn't go solid yet because he feels...selfish. All the other shades struggle with it, and he's just insulted so many of them. He doesn't deserve it.]


I won't be able to do much partying in my current state. Are you certain you want me to go?
softspokenlandlord: (dsod62)

[personal profile] softspokenlandlord 2022-03-11 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
[Ryou still looks pretty down on himself...but that still makes him smile, just barely.]

When you say things like that...it reminds me even more why I love you, Atem. Just about every thing you do...it makes me fond of you.

[Suddenly, he draws in a sharp breath, and the light of his eyes extinguishes as he squeezes them shut. Why does it still hurt? His most important person juts told him that he could possess him if he got tired. They just spent time together trying to forget terrible things...

So why does Ryou want to cry?

His eyes open again, sad little half-circles at best, and he looks over towards the other monster.]


...A-Atem, can you...do me a favor? Please?
softspokenlandlord: <user name=raptorscribbles site=tumblr.com> (ryoushade10)

[personal profile] softspokenlandlord 2022-03-11 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
Mmnh...bite me.

[He extends a hand out, allowing for just that part of him to grow solid, and he settles his fingers on one of Atem's thighs. Selfish, terrible. Even now, he's lording his powers over everyone else, isn't he?

But no. He wants those thoughts to go away.]


If you're okay with it...I just want to be calm.
softspokenlandlord: (33)

[personal profile] softspokenlandlord 2022-03-11 06:09 am (UTC)(link)
[Ryou is, of course, hesitant to be himself again. But he asked for this, so he couldn't procrastinate just because of his own self-destructive thoughts.

Quietly he shifts, floats closer, and the darkness melts back, features become more defined as he forces himself back to the very solidity that he'd fought to maintain. Something...something he could do. Something he couldn't live without.

His tail loosely settles against Atem's shin, and he presses their foreheads together, his eyes closed. He couldn't be any closer if he tried at this point, and this...it's where he belongs.

Here with someone who cares about him.]


I love you.

[He does. And he would whether Atem bit him or not.]
softspokenlandlord: (89)

[personal profile] softspokenlandlord 2022-03-11 07:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ryou is already accustomed to the prick of pain that comes with the initial bite. It makes him wrap his arms around Atem securely, and he flinches because it does hurt. But soon enough, he relaxes. It's fine. The sensation of Atem drinking his blood would usually prompt Ryou to count backwards. It's ritual. It's just what they do, so Atem knows when to stop.

...He's too distraught to do it this time. He remains silent, letting the calming effect wash over him and mask the bad feelings with comfort.

Atem's observant enough, Ryou's sure of it. That's why he doesn't say anything, he just lets Atem continue, his body slowly relaxing. He does start to lean pretty hard after a few long moments, his eyes slipping shut.]

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