knifemonopoly | IC inbox

[Ryou looks a little taken aback. Oh...oh that's...nice?

Now Atem has a perfectly good view of Ryou's way-too-big tail swishing from side to side at the compliment, and if he wasn't covered in fur, there'd probably be some blushing visible too.]

Ah...h-haha, well. Th-thank you, I...I like that you can see me too, and I'll keep drawing the eye as long as you like.

[Atem being so open about his feelings it is endearing. Very very cute!]

[He reaches out -- oh, the perspective is a little weird, very different from what he's used to, but good enough -- to touch the side of Ryou's face. Atem wants to get his clawed fingers into the fluff at Ryou's jaw, the sides of his face, draw him in closer...

...maybe even touch his ears.

It's all affectionate for now, even if there's something he wants to talk about very soon. Pets and scritches first.]

Edited 2022-05-09 10:51 (UTC)

[Ryou leans into the touch, exhaling softly. For the moment, he and Atem aren't looking exactly eye-to-eye, since he's on the floor and will remain seated there while Atem's on the couch. Recovering boyfriends get the whole couch, those are the rules.

The only reason that matters is because of how Ryou appears when he's looking up at Atem rather than down--much more like a pleased puppy than a contented, proud one. Furthermore, if his ears are touched, he hums happily and closes his eyes while relaxing them.

He's been fairly tired despite the ramped-up Fog, he's still pretty tired...but this contact feels like the best reward he's received for being awake at all.]

Your hands are so warm like this. It's nice.

That's right...I haven't been anything warm-blooded since December, have I...?

[December. Before the Fog. Before things changed, and he and Ryou found themselves on this path...

...he pulls at Ryou's face, gently, with one hand. The other goes back into Ryou's hair, to pull him forward, too.]

Come here.

[Ryou's being invited onto the couch -- or at least, the front half of him, if there isn't space for all of Ryou. Atem's going to pull him into a close hug, carefully and deftly removing the eye from his pocket with a tendril, so it doesn't get blocked by werewolf shoulder and can be held a little bit apart, between Atem's ears, above his head.

They are absolutely still going to talk.]

[Ryou shifts forward, following the tug of Atem's hands and almost immediately nuzzling up under his chin. It takes a little doing, but he does manage to slip both arms around the smaller werewolf.

Yeah...this is good. This is exactly where he wants to be right now.]

Mmm, you haven't been warm since December, but...it's okay. I'll always give you my warmth.

[December was pretty awful near the end, but he liked Atem as a demon. Atem was one of the very few demons Ryou wasn't scared of. And he was very, very warm then too.]

I love you.

[It slips out fondly, and Ryou noses into Atem's short fur a little more insistently. This is right. They belong together. Ryou won't let Atem be hurt by Elias again, not without a fight.]

I love you, too.

[Atem lets out a contented sigh, one unique to this form -- the sound of an animal settling into a comfortable spot.

...it's almost tempting to just stay like this.

Almost. But no -- Atem cares about Ryou too much to let this lie.]

...which is why I wanted to ask. Now that it's been a while...

[His mouth presses shut, and his ears flatten, then go forward. How does he put this?]

...are you happy with the decision we made, to go to tier 3?

[He's going to pet the back of Ryou's head, as he talks.]

It was hard for you...I could tell. It was my idea...I didn't make you follow me, but I wanted to...

[Again, how to put it?]

...if what you wanted was to be strong, I wanted to open the door to that, for you.

But, if this way of being strong isn't what you want...[pet, pet]...that's okay, too.

[And, he remembers what Hinata said. He's got to be completely honest, here:]

The only thing I regret, from all of that...was that it was so painful for you.

[Ryou would have been perfectly happy to stay just like this as well. But that's not what happens. Instead, Atem asks something of Ryou that makes him stiffen, just a little. His ears slick back, and his tail, which had been twitching about in happiness, completely stills.

He doesn't pull away, he just listens and stays where he's at, giving no indication at the moment of how he feels, other than taken aback. Again...Atem is trying to help him cope with his problems. Again, Atem is not prioritizing himself.

It is frustrating...but Ryou's mostly only frustrated with himself.]

Everyone had a part to play in what happened during that time.

[It's said in a voice that's not quite curt, but also isn't completely even either.]

I want to be strong, and that comes with great personal sacrifice. You deal with things much better than I do, but that doesn't mean that I'd walk it back. I made the choice to join the Fog. I made the choice to scare humans, and feed in a manner consistent with the Fog's wishes.

[He pulls back, so that Atem can see his face, if he adjusts his eye a bit.]

I made the choice to do research against the company and kill their CEO. I chose to come with you to see things through, and I chose to devour those men to scare humans. But even so...I still made you feel bad, didn't I? Because of the things I said and did afterwards.

...I'm sorry, Atem. But no. I wouldn't change it. What needs to change is...how I react to things.

[He needs to be harder, less reactive to the city. Colder. He can do it.

(i can't)

He has to do it. Atem can't keep on carrying dead weight, not after what they'd done. Ryou has seen the threats levied against them, and he would not become Atem's exploitable weakness.]

Edited (what missing sentence you're a missing sentence) 2022-05-09 23:46 (UTC)

You only need to change as much as you want to change. I want you to become...who you want to be. And who that is is up to you to decide.

[Ryou's pulled back, but Atem leans his head forward, and presses the side of his muzzle against Ryou's, snuffing just a little in his cheek fur. Ryou doesn't get to be distant, or short, or feel turbulent feelings without being reminded that he's not alone. The words come out a little close to Ryou's ear, then, as he goes on.]

I was scared for you, afterwards, when you were trying to draw attention away from me...

[He leans his face against Ryou's.]

...but I never would have stopped you.

We can't stop each other. This is the path we're on, and what I do is mean tto support you on your journey, just as much as you've chosen to support me. And I don't mean to scare you, Atem...

[There's a but waiting to spring forth, of course, and Ryou nuzzles Atem back before he continues, because he feels as if it might sound less bad if he nuzzles.]

...but if this is how you felt in the first place...then I should have been doing better. I want to scare the humans, not you.

No, no.

[He shakes his head, lightly.]

There's no "should." There's just what is, and what isn't. You should do exactly what you want to do. Even if it frightened me, it was your move to make, not mine.

Don't think about it as "doing better."

[Better. He's tried so hard to do better, and it's worn him thin, worn him out...]

Think about it as finding out who you are. What you're okay with, and what you aren't. Don't make yourself do something you're not okay with....that just leads to regret.

[Take it from him. He pushed himself so hard, in September and October...and for what? What was it all for?]

[Ryou's shoulders drop when Atem tells him he doesn't need to do things he's not okay with. That's so hard, so much harder than simply saying it. Doing it is another thing.]

Sometimes what I have to do doesn't align with what I think is okay. That's just how it is here. If what I wanted always aligned with what I needed, then I wouldn't be with the Fog right now.

But I am, because without Her strength behind these claws, I'd be too weak to protect myself, much less anyone else around me.

...And sometimes, what I really, really want doesn't align with who I think I should be. And when that happens...I want to be something else.

[Not someone else. Something else. He still wants to be "Ryou Bakura", but not as a shade. Not with that burning resentment that eats at him like acid reducing away layers of his skin, slowly but painfully.

Suddenly, Ryou draws in a long, almost painful-sounding breath.]

Listen...t-this isn't what we should be doing. You're supposed to be focused on your recovery. Is this really what you want to talk about right now?

....it is.

[His tongue comes out -- he licks at the side of Ryou's mouth. Why does he think it'll make Ryou feel better, that he does that? Atem has no idea. But he does it.]

There's no winning, here...no way to truly get everything you want. There's only choices.

And I'm with you, no matter what choice you make. You won't be alone. You'll fly yourself, but...I'll be there to catch you.

[Lick, lick.]

And I like you how you are. [Another lick.] All of the ways you are.

[It's not kissing, exactly. It's weird. But he's high. Feels correct.]

[If anything's going to get Ryou to relax, then hilariously, it would be mouth-licking. It satisfies an instinctual need to be comforted, and it's also massively adorable, especially coming from someone who didn't ever seem too fond of licking when he wasn't a werewolf. Ryou had always been conscientious about not giving too many dog kisses back when it was him being a werewolf, at least when Atem was not a demon.

Demon Atem didn't care. Evidently, werewolf Atem was embracing his nature.

...To be fair, Ryou's sure the meds have a little to do with that. And yet he smiles, and lets out a happy little dog noise, the same familiar one that he lets out when he's fully relaxing.]

Oh, stop...you're being too much. No wonder you have so many friends who would come help save you. H-heheh! And it's very clear that you have biases for dubiously overpowered gamers.

[Like Ryou.

...And now it's his turn to lick Atem, right on the nose. Fine, fine, if they're going to stay on this topic, the least he can do is make it a little less dour...right?]

[Swsh-swsh-swsh, goes Atem's thin little tail. It's clear that that reminder has made him happy.]

I don't know what you mean. I'm perfectly objective, and -- [It's nuzzling time.] -- impartial --

Clearly not partial to anyone present.

[...For probably the first time all day, Ryou gives in to his instinct and finds a way to crawl onto the couch. It takes a little maneuvering, a little soft guiding so that he doesn't wholly disturb Atem, but has enough space to curl up next to him.

He wants to be next to him. He wants to share warmth and be as close as possible, and only when he's slithered his way into a reasonable position that doesn't end with him sitting on Atem's tail does he lick at the corner of Atem's mouth himself.

Despite himself, he lets out a soft sound that might placate a more dominant wolf, if that was the kind of atmosphere they were fostering in this apartment

(maybe it is?)

as he curls his tail over Atem's lap. Warm. Together. Good.]

Indeed.

[Look he apologized before he even infused as much sass into that single words as possible, but here's another lick for good measure.]

[....Atem doesn't usually let out big, heavy sighs, but something in this body makes him huff all his air out as he settles in.

It is extremely contented.

He doesn't have it in him to sass back. He's finding himself relaxing...even if he's not sure he got through to Ryou what he wanted to say, and he's not sure he's happy with Ryou's answers, they're what Ryou's choosing...so...

...so, he gets comfortable, and settles in to rest as hard as he can.]

[And rest they do. Two wolves sharing warmth and comfort, mutually convalescing because god knows Ryou needs some damn sleep.

Throughout the next few days, Ryou continues to take care of Atem, feeding him, giving him plenty of food, drawing his eye so that they can see each other, and basically doing his best to keep Atem comfortable during this time. He also goes to all of the parties with Atem because protect.

However...Atem needs to hunt for himself soon. Ryou can't just keep giving him human flesh piecemeal, not if he intends to help Atem stay properly nourished. A werewolf benefits from the entire process, given their high prey drive--the hunt sates a psychological need, and the meat sates a physical need. It's pretty hard to hunt with no eyes though, and the pain of the injury that still remains, where they were burned out. Furthermore, the Fog wasn't fixing it...and Ryou was getting very concerned.

So. After some discussion, Ryou had offered to use his tier 3 ability to take Atem's lingering injury, then shift it onto another target, and they'd come to an agreement.

Getting to that point was the hard part. Hunting? That was easy, honestly. Ryou makes as much of a game of it as he can, and hopes that Atem's not too medicated to give them away. He rather doubts it though. Atem can be quiet, right?

Ryou keeps them pretty close to home, and because his fur is far too light to be inconspicuous within the area he'd chosen, he slips into the shadowy form of his tier 2 ability. It has a different scent quality than what Atem will have been used to at this point, but it should still be easy enough to follow.

He takes point, quietly stalking after an older gentleman. This guy...well, he's a little out of Ryou's choice of mark, but he was no less worthy of what was about to happen to him. Ryou had explained it to Atem, of course, why they were on this human above all else.

He was an opportunist and a bully, the kind of guy who throws his weight around just because he can. He's the owner of a small local bookshop, and he has the habit of undercutting high-value books to buy, while selling them for a massive profit margin. That on its own wouldn't be enough, but to add insult to injury, those who don't sell to him have their houses marked, and he hires thieves to "pick up his merchandise" anyway. He'd recently begun to hire those same thugs to rob one or two houses that had acquired his books through fair pricing, only to resell the merchandise once more.

That's who they're going to kill today. Another scammer, another human eating humans, so to speak.

So that's who Ryou crosses paths with, as a spectral creature with too-bright eyes, cutting into his path silently.]

[Atem has an eye drawn onto the strop of cloth bound around his forehead. It's been the most effective way to help him see: as close to normal sight as he can get. His depth perception's still not perfect, but his sense of smell's helped with that.

He's gotten antsier and antsier as the fog receded. The god is at full power, maybe more, but Atem's sight hasn't come back. And, on top of that, he's felt more and more cooped up. For the first time in his nerdy gamer life, Atem actually wants to run, jump, chase, kill--

...but he's got to keep that under control. He can't kill without a game. He won't. Even if his skin feels electric, and his feet want to thump on the ground, and he's taken to chewing at his own fur (a deeply weird habit, one he doesn't like), he's got to --

He's got to test this guy.

But it's likely a terrifying sight, when Mr. Bookseller backs away from the spectral wolf, and glances over his shoulder, and sees a blindfolded werewolf with eyes painted on, its jaw working, its limbs twitching, clawed feet approaching step by ponderous step.]

M̸r̶.̵ ̸B̴o̶o̵k̸s̶e̴l̵l̸e̵r̶.̷.̸.̷

[It's a low, low rumble. Atem's chest is just a little broader than usual, he's just a little taller, and his vocal cords aren't human.]

I̷ ̸w̵a̵n̶t̶ ̵t̶o̷ ̵p̷l̷a̴y̴ ̶a̴ ̴g̵a̵m̸e̶.̷

[Fear creeps over the man's face. It's clear when he recognizes that this is that guy from TV...he doesn't have the right hair, but monsters, who can even tell with monsters? And he's got a shadow with him, just like everybody says...

He tries to run.]

Edited 2022-05-11 02:23 (UTC)

[Oh no, sir. Oh no.

Ryou's still there, cutting off the bookseller on the opposite side, his lips curling back to reveal pointed teeth that appear luminescent against his shadowy form. The message is clear. Pass at your own peril. This is one shadow that won't warn you twice.]

Where are you going?

[Ryou's voice is higher pitched than Atem's, but it's still at a lower register than his usual voice, and there's an odd, hissing quality to it.]

Surely you haven't got anymore business, right? The store is closed...there's no reason to be out so late.

[Unless, of course, he was busy trying to make arrangements for something profitable...and untoward. Ryou, naturally, knows that he's out here for an exchange of ill-gotten goods. That's the point.]

[It's so hard.

It's so hard, when the man runs, not to run him down. Atem's jaws open, his hands twitch open and shut as he tamps down the impulse to chase.

He has to swallow back saliva.

It's Ryou's self-mastery that helps keep Atem under control...though he can't help letting out a laugh, when the man skids to a halt, realizing that the wolves are faster than he is.]

H̶e̴h̶ ̴h̷e̶h̴.̸ ̴H̵͔̾ẻ̶̖h̶̦͊ ̸̭̄Ḧ̴͕͕́Ë̵͕͓́Ḧ̶̛̞́ ̵͙̅͝H̶̗̺́̎Ę̸̋Ĥ̶̱̯̚-̷̻͑-̴̦̜̄̚

[All of his senses are killing him. Sight, sound, smell, all of it's telling him this man is prey. This man should be allowed to run, so that Atem can chase him.

But it's no good...if it's not fair...]

Don't worry. All my games are ones you can win!

[Atem licks his lips.

It's clear that the man knows the werewolf wants to eat him.

"W-w-what s-sort of game?" he asks.]

Normally, I'd put together something to do with your greedy business practices, but...

[But he's hungry. He's itching to get this guy.]

...this time, I want you to go about your business! The trick is...no matter what you do...

[The werewolf's jaws enunciate each syllable, slowly and carefully.]

D̶o̵n̴'̶t̷ ̵R̷̤̿Ü̸̘Ṇ̷̎.̴̟̀

[That's it. That's the only rule. But someone so used to having others do his dirty work...he'll crack under the pressure. Atem's sure of it.]

We won't touch you, as long as you stay at a walking pace! But if you run...you're dog-meat!

[As Atem lays out the rules, Ryou reverts back to his regular night form, which gives him a fair bit of length...which converts to height when he straightens back onto two feet. He might look softer around the edges, fluffier and whiter...but the look in his eyes isn't a kind one.]

The outcome of this is up to you. Don't do something you'll regret.

[Ryou flanks the human, going full hog with trying to intimidate him...but he doesn't get close enough to brush even a single strand of fur against him. The man looks very uncomfortable at the proximity of this werewolf, much less the other.

Good. Be scared. Ryou has no sympathy in his heart for humans like these.]

Go on.

[Atem nips in the man's direction, snapping his jaws in the air. He's also careful not to touch, but it doesn't stop the man from jumping nearly out of his skin.]

You had something to do tonight, didn't you?

Introduce us to your friends.

[The man's legs look hardly capable of holding him up. But somehow, he takes a shuddering step, and then another, and another.

"Ghhhngk," is the terrified sound that slips out of his throat. "You don't -- you don't really -- I didn't have any business--"]

[Ryou walks, padding loudly on his massive night form feet, keeping himself close enough to be oppressive the whole time. He's not giving the man mercy, and in fact, he doesn't let him stammer his way out of the truth.]

But that is not strictly true, is it, Mr. Jacobsen? It's not very nice to lie; it'll get you into trouble one of these days, you know.

[It's a bit of a joke, at Lukas Jacobsen's expense, because of course he's been lying. He's been lying for a very long time, escalating the choices that hurt people and lining his pockets with their misfortune.

One gold eye, reflecting the nearest streetlight until it shined like a mirror, focuses on the human. What's he going to do? What's he going to say?

How far will he dig his own grave before finally jumping in?]

["I-I don't want any trouble," he insists, stumbling forward on unsteady feet. The white-furred werewolf is far too close on one side, and the black-furred one has his teeth bared. Mr. Jacobsen is sweating hard, much more than the exertion of a nighttime stroll could cause. "You're. You're the vampire and his attack shade, aren't you? T-the ones from TV?"]

Heh heh heh.

["Are you going to -- to put me into one of those traps?"]

I already explained the rules, Mr. Jacobsen. Don't make me repeat myself! All you have to do --

-- is not --

[His mouth opens wider, showing those teeth again.]

-- run.

[Mr. Jacobsen scurries along, as fast as he can make himself walk without it becoming a run. It's a terrified little power-walk. Atem keeps pace easily, following the sound of the steps.]

It's true what he says. Just follow the rules. Unlike you, we don't need to lie to make our fortune. Otherwise, I could eat you now, and not feel even the slightest bit guilty, if I were being honest.

But those aren't the rules.

[Ryou keeps up his pressure, but the conversational tone is light. He knows what he's doing. He's scaring him. That's his role, or at least the one he's chosen to take.

He licks his chops to drive the point home, his pink tongue passing across gleaming, sharp teeth. It's just another extension of roleplay, right? Act like a monster.

(be a monster)

Scare them.

(for him. he needs you.

and for Her. she requires it.)

Jacobsen doesn't like any of it. Oh, he doesn't like it at all, that he can't get away from the two monsters flanking him, it's very obvious on his face.]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

TIMESKIP!

cw animal hair pulling as self harm??

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

at last. a name for the trash man

no subject

no subject