knifemonopoly | IC inbox

Of course~

I should have done it long ago. It's difficult to expect visits if I don't have the invitation open.

[He's still not sure he trusts this. It's too much to ask, he understands now: everyone in Ryslig is suffering, everyone in Ryslig has their own problems, and everyone has to manage them as best they can on their own. He can't be there for everyone, without looking out for himself, or it'll get him killed, maimed, out of his mind.]

Be careful. [He says it over Beat's shoulder.] That kind of promise...this place isn't going to let you keep it. It'll find a way, it won't, I can't--

[His hands tighten again around Beat's back. He could have called Yugi to his side at any time, but for some reason, he hadn't -- it hadn't occurred to him in the moment that he could, because he and Yugi had worked so separately, for so long...

And, when he'd seen Yugi's name in the graveyard, he'd finally tried to use the sigil. The sign they'd drawn on their hands in the falling-block room, proof that they'd never turn against one another no matter what Kaiba tried, proof that no matter how far apart they were, they'd always be in each other's hearts.

No one came, and Atem was left standing alone with nothing more than memories.

When Atem goes on, his throat is tight, and his eyes sting.]

And you can't. It'll pull you apart, if all you do is help out others, and you don't do anything to protect yourself. You'll lose, Beat.

[Lose memories lose yourself lose your people lose your heart. Atem doesn't want that for him. Atem wants himself to be safe, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want that for his friends, too--]

Edited 2022-03-28 19:30 (UTC)

Is that the one with the beans? 'cause I got two of those and then a few of the one that looks like a turtle and one with the curry. [The turtle ones are melon pan.] Tragically, however, they don't sell lion toys at the bodega so I don't have anything for you.

[She looks down at Tybolt as she says it. Cairo did briefly contemplate buying him a tuna sandwich, but then she realized big cats probably have different dietary needs and she also vaguely remembers tuna not being good for cats. Canned tuna, anyway. Fresh tuna is probably fine. Maybe she can find a cardboard box at work for Tybolt next time. That's a good enrichment thing for big cats, right?]

Next time, okay? Maybe I can ask Mana for one of those Kong things they give to big dogs back home.

[Turtle....

....oh! Oh, melon pan, even better!

While Atem's busy experiencing the simple joy of being brought unexpected bread snacks, Tybolt has no idea what's being said to him, but he knows he's being talked to. He makes a whirring, squeaky little proto-roar that is not threatening in the least, only cute, and brushes himself past Cairo's knee, tilting his head in to rub it as he goes by like a friendly cat.]

I'm sure he'll be all right.

...

[Atem's face falls, a little. Turns contemplative, and a little sad.]

It's funny. He has no idea what's going on, at all...no clue anything is different.

Heh, this place won't be able to stop me from keeping it. I ain't never broken an oath an' I ain't 'bout to let this place start me on that. It can try an' pull me 'part but I ain't gonna let it.

[He can't. It's not just Atem riding on Beat being there when he needs him. It's Neku. Josh. Shoka. It's Sonic and Phil. Sparkling and everyone else Beat has befriended. Shaking his head, he tightens his grip, shushing Atem against his shoulder, smothered a little in his fur. Fingers curl against the vampires back, claws snagging into clothes, holding the other.]

I ain't lost yet yo an' I don' plan on it. Maybe someday I'll let myself slow down but ain't no one or nothin' been able to stop me 'fore. The Higher Ups back home couldn't, Fog or Fourth ain't gonna be able to.

[They might tear at him. Beat won't shun the idea that he might lose bits of himself but he refuses to lose himself entirely. There's no way this place will rip that from him, Beat will make sure of it. Just like he'll make sure to keep those last bits of Atem taped into him.]

[He presses his face into Beat's fur.

It's oddly comforting...he's drunk Beat's blood, he can recognize Beat's heart now, could pick its rhythm out of a crowd, and having it this close, warm and alive, is calming him down.

But what isn't calming is the way Beat's talking. It's familiar. It's how every new person who's never really been brought down in their own world feels. Atem takes a deep breath, then lets it out.]

I hope you're right. But don't count on it. Everyone's brought down, here. Everyone's vulnerable.

...I'd never been stopped, before I came here.

[But he's lost, and lost, and lost, ever since, and when he's tried to turn over the cards and figure out why, all he's been able to figure out, is...

...he hasn't been playing by the right rules. He's been swimming upstream, by trying to make a name for himself while remaining neutral, trying to help humans and monsters alike. It's been killing him, and getting his loved ones in trouble, too.

That said...even though he's been losing, suffering, and reaching out to others anyway, and that approach was wrong...

...he hasn't lost everything, has he? Somehow, even though he was ready to throw out every bond he'd made, if that was what it took, some of them stood by him. He has a power now that'll protect him, but...he also still has a few friends.

"I wish for friends," he thinks, remembers. "Friends I can count on, friends who can count on me, no matter what..."

Remembering that wish makes his throat close up tighter, and Beat's fur might end up a little damp. Atem doesn't know what he wanted, what he needed, what he'd even have asked for, before it came to this. He just knows he didn't have it, and his situation couldn't go on the way it was. He also knows he wants to keep Beat, and Ray and Cairo and Altair and Horatio. He has to protect himself first, but that's not all he wants, not all he needs. He breathes, in and out, and can't tell if he feels better, or not.]

Since you care about him I *know* he's a good guy. I'll try to talk to him soon too. It's best we all stick together in times like this, right? at least behind the scenes.

I know it's dangerous for them if some of the others stay our friends, but that's all the more reason we should look out for each other following the fog now.

Don't worry. I'm going to become someone who can stand up for you just the same ; ) I don't know how yet... I might not be as good at the scary part as I thought.

What did you ask for?

[Up until now, Atem's kept what precisely he's capable of very close to his jacket. He's still not talking about his tier 2 powers. No one gets to know what those are, until he has to use them. Even Ryou doesn't know.

But tier 3? He doesn't mind if that part gets out, not at all.]

The ability to give my injuries back to the person who gave them to me.

[Plus, there's the trading-places element...but he's not telling about that, not yet. It's not out of mistrust of Maya. It's that he knows things like doppelgangers and the network malfunction happen, and even the people you trust most might give away secrets without meaning to.]

I can also become undead whenever I like. It's pretty gross-looking, but if I temporarily change to another monster type, it'll mean I don't have to breathe! But the ability to heal myself, and punish anyone who hurt me...that's what I wanted out of this.

thats

so

cool

[she's been like, sobbing all day, but for some reason thinking about Atem having a bunch of spooky ancient super powers like some kind of cool TV series just really breaks her down. Don't tell her about the rest of Yu-Gi-Oh yet.]

sorry i mean i'm really glad for you!! i knew you could do it. at least something worked out!

[she's also pretty glad they didn't end up with Elias-driven punishments this round, too...]

[Heh...still, a reinforcement that his choice of powers was a good one feels nice.]

I know everyone is angry right now...but the truth is, I feel safer than I have in a long time. I've been feeling like I'm an easy target for months...and that's not true anymore!

[Even if no one's coming for him, when he's in trouble...he can protect himself.]

So, I mean it when I say this: if you get in trouble, call me! You still remember my symbol, right? The one that lets me see what's happening around it?

[It's 2 in the morning. Ryou is fidgeting in his room, because he's had time to himself, all alone, to think about the harm he's caused across monsterkind, and he knows, he knows Javert won't take him seriously. He's very certain that if he goes down there, waits around long enough, he'll meet someone who agrees that he, Ryou Bakura, deserves to be punished for what he did.

Then they can put him in prison and hey, it might give him an excuse to rail against AM or something, before the inevitable retribution.

That's what he tells himself as he levitates a few feet off the ground, becomes incorporeal long enough to pass through his bedroom door...then, after throwing a nervous glance across the way to Atem's room, vetting to make sure the lights are all off and it appears his boyfriend might have turned in early...he floats along down the hallway, through the living room and towards the door. His taloned feet don't even touch the floor, he's quiet as anything...it's fine.

This is his choice, he's not doing it to hurt anyone. He's doing it because they deserve their vengeance. Right?]

[Without warning, the light switch by the door flips on.

Soft light floods the apartment, illuminating a shadowy tendril retreating from the switch back toward the living room, to where Atem is seated cross-legged on the couch, where he's been as still as a statue.]

Just where do you think you're going...?

[He had a feeling. He knew it. He read it in Ryou's odd pauses, the moments he took an instant too long to reply, in movements that didn't seem quite natural.

Unfortunately, he was right.]

[The light turns on and for the first time since he's gotten the ability, Ryou's body erupts in spiky protrusions from his back, his arms, there's even two hornlike protrusions which split through his hair.

To say he's surprised would be putting it mildly.

When Atem asks him where he intended to go, Ryou alights back on the ground, willing the spikes back in and regaining tangibility. He hadn't even touched anything, what gave him away?!

(the eyes. idiot.)

His tail lashes from one side to the other behind him, then settles around his feet which are practically glued to each other at the ankles. Oh, he looks caught alright.

And that, more than anything, is why he faces the door, and not Atem.]

O-out. I was...I'll be back. I will.

[It's not a lie. It isn't, he would be back...eventually.]

Cats are like that. We die and Maple acts like we just went away on vacation. He's mad, but I don't think he really gets it.

[She doesn't know if that makes it better or worse. On the one hand: it's nice to know that Maple doesn't have to deal with the psychological reality of his mom dying over and over. On the other hand, she feels bad sometimes because Maple clearly knows she's upset? But she doesn't think he really gets why and why his normal cheer-up tactics don't work.]

From where?

[He knows perfectly well, or at least is sure he does.

He stays put, lets Ryou answer.]

....

[He's quiet a moment, thinking, as Tybolt flops down by Cairo's ankles with a happy mrrrp.]

There's something I can do now, that I couldn't before. At level three, god followers can give a quick resurrection power to someone who's not affiliated. Instead of having to wait for the Fog to come in, you'd come back in two or three days. You revive in Dyster, which is a pretty spooky place! But it's not hard to find your way back out.

[He meets her eyes.]

Want it?

Somewhere that you wouldn't approve of. Somewhere for a terrible person.

[He reaches a hand out, lets it settle on the doorknob.]

One who can't follow the rules and endangers his fellow monsters with his actions.

[He thinks to what Bruno said, about the city painting with too broad a brush, about how all shades will suffer for his actions, and it makes his heart ache. No one deserves that.]

So...

[His words are slow, even, calm.]

...why you, and not me? Or Maya, or Mukuro, or the Ring-Spirit?

Are you going to bring us all to Javert? To AM?

Maya held the camera. She didn't even seem like she wanted to, near the end. She didn't hurt anyone. Mukuro gave valuable if shocking information, and so did the spirit.

[His fingers clench tightly at the knob...but don't turn it.]

You were only doing what you've always done. Something that people didn't care about until it was in their face. You didn't even condescend with your explanations of how the Fog benefits from monsters' actions.

I...have condemned anyone like me to be feared and hated. I ruined your game. I killed three men viciously. That's what people hate, right?

[Ryou is simply doing what he does best.

He's putting himself in danger because it's best to do that before anyone gets hurt.]

I don't regret what I did. [He does.] So no. Just me. Javert would not take me, but I know that...that AM...would.

[Atem could respond to this logically. Maya offered the camera. Mukuro's contribution was gory and offensive to those who see humans as people. Atem masterminded the whole thing, and knew what was on the tape when he gave his approval. They all did.

But that's not what he does.

He stands, pushing himself to his feet.

Slowly, step by step, he walks over to Ryou. Flatly:]

I won't allow it.

Edited 2022-03-30 15:47 (UTC)

[Ryou still won't look at him. He can't, because this is what he's always been warned not to do. He's wrong for wanting to be put away for this but everything else feels worse.

There's no more adrenaline rush from trying to overcompensate for his companions' choices. There's only him and his own head, turning his instincts inward, telling him the monsters want blood.]

I said I'd come back. You don't have to be that way.

[It's not cruel, it's not even half as emotional as what Atem had just told him, that he wouldn't allow it?! Why?]

Yes, I do.

[He reaches up, considering Ryou's shirt...but then, decides on the collar.

Atem hooks a finger into it, then brings Ryou down to eye-level, looking right into the white glow.]

I need you here, remember?

[His tone is intent, but still even, still slow. His free hand, when it comes up to Ryou's jaw, moves the same way as he speaks. This is a crisis, a moment where Ryou could be much, much more hurt than he already is, and Atem cannot afford to make the wrong move.

If Ryou is tortured for what Atem did, he'll never forgive himself. So, with stillness and calm, he holds Ryou's head and neck in both his hands, and says:]

I won't allow you to give yourself up to AM.

[He brings himself closer, leaning in, so they're inches apart.]

Who do you belong to: AM, or me?

[Ryou lets out a surprised sound as he's tugged down, made to look Atem in the eye after all. It usually sharpens his focus, to have Atem do this, to be made to answer questions, but all it does at first is take him back to that night, settled before two husks and a man whose throat he'd ripped out, whose flesh had stuck in his teeth because he'd bitten so hard, drank so deeply that all he could do was stand there and let cold, unfeeling words tumble out past bloody lips.

He remembers Atem pulling him by the collar then as well...the moments are smeared together, like so much spilled blood, thick and slippery and red.

Ryou does hear the final question, and it pulls him back a little. Not completely, but enough to answer faintly:]

I'm...yours.

That's right.

[Atem releases the collar, for now. Both his hands come up to Ryou's jaw, holding him in place.]

You shouldn't steal yourself from me, and give you to somebody else. That wouldn't be right either, would it?

[Keep him talking. Frame it any way you have to, to keep him here, to stop him from making his pain worse. A stay in La Forteresse helps no one. Not the people who were hurt, and not the one who did the hurting.]

Whose rules did you break? Mine, or AM's?

I broke the rules of this place, Atem. I broke your rules too, didn't I? I wasn't meant to be your penalty game...doesn't that bother you?

[The hands at either side of his face leave no room for movement. Ryou isn't going anywhere, and he accommodates their height difference as if there isn't one at all, but...in the dim light, it's easy to see his tail starting to glow, purple...then white.]

I don't want AM to hurt me. I'm not trying to take myself from you. But I hurt the situation of so many monsters here. That's the rules...just because Javert won't admit I did something wrong doesn't mean it's true. He's biased.

[Ryou's evidently not convinced yet, that he shouldn't go to monster prison.]

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<Player1>

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<Player1>

Sometime after the network post fiasco(s) and any intervening friends

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cw some questionable D/s....

cw; blood and gore descriptions

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.