knifemonopoly | IC inbox

[The light turns on and for the first time since he's gotten the ability, Ryou's body erupts in spiky protrusions from his back, his arms, there's even two hornlike protrusions which split through his hair.

To say he's surprised would be putting it mildly.

When Atem asks him where he intended to go, Ryou alights back on the ground, willing the spikes back in and regaining tangibility. He hadn't even touched anything, what gave him away?!

(the eyes. idiot.)

His tail lashes from one side to the other behind him, then settles around his feet which are practically glued to each other at the ankles. Oh, he looks caught alright.

And that, more than anything, is why he faces the door, and not Atem.]

O-out. I was...I'll be back. I will.

[It's not a lie. It isn't, he would be back...eventually.]

From where?

[He knows perfectly well, or at least is sure he does.

He stays put, lets Ryou answer.]

Somewhere that you wouldn't approve of. Somewhere for a terrible person.

[He reaches a hand out, lets it settle on the doorknob.]

One who can't follow the rules and endangers his fellow monsters with his actions.

[He thinks to what Bruno said, about the city painting with too broad a brush, about how all shades will suffer for his actions, and it makes his heart ache. No one deserves that.]

So...

[His words are slow, even, calm.]

...why you, and not me? Or Maya, or Mukuro, or the Ring-Spirit?

Are you going to bring us all to Javert? To AM?

Maya held the camera. She didn't even seem like she wanted to, near the end. She didn't hurt anyone. Mukuro gave valuable if shocking information, and so did the spirit.

[His fingers clench tightly at the knob...but don't turn it.]

You were only doing what you've always done. Something that people didn't care about until it was in their face. You didn't even condescend with your explanations of how the Fog benefits from monsters' actions.

I...have condemned anyone like me to be feared and hated. I ruined your game. I killed three men viciously. That's what people hate, right?

[Ryou is simply doing what he does best.

He's putting himself in danger because it's best to do that before anyone gets hurt.]

I don't regret what I did. [He does.] So no. Just me. Javert would not take me, but I know that...that AM...would.

[Atem could respond to this logically. Maya offered the camera. Mukuro's contribution was gory and offensive to those who see humans as people. Atem masterminded the whole thing, and knew what was on the tape when he gave his approval. They all did.

But that's not what he does.

He stands, pushing himself to his feet.

Slowly, step by step, he walks over to Ryou. Flatly:]

I won't allow it.

Edited 2022-03-30 15:47 (UTC)

[Ryou still won't look at him. He can't, because this is what he's always been warned not to do. He's wrong for wanting to be put away for this but everything else feels worse.

There's no more adrenaline rush from trying to overcompensate for his companions' choices. There's only him and his own head, turning his instincts inward, telling him the monsters want blood.]

I said I'd come back. You don't have to be that way.

[It's not cruel, it's not even half as emotional as what Atem had just told him, that he wouldn't allow it?! Why?]

Yes, I do.

[He reaches up, considering Ryou's shirt...but then, decides on the collar.

Atem hooks a finger into it, then brings Ryou down to eye-level, looking right into the white glow.]

I need you here, remember?

[His tone is intent, but still even, still slow. His free hand, when it comes up to Ryou's jaw, moves the same way as he speaks. This is a crisis, a moment where Ryou could be much, much more hurt than he already is, and Atem cannot afford to make the wrong move.

If Ryou is tortured for what Atem did, he'll never forgive himself. So, with stillness and calm, he holds Ryou's head and neck in both his hands, and says:]

I won't allow you to give yourself up to AM.

[He brings himself closer, leaning in, so they're inches apart.]

Who do you belong to: AM, or me?

[Ryou lets out a surprised sound as he's tugged down, made to look Atem in the eye after all. It usually sharpens his focus, to have Atem do this, to be made to answer questions, but all it does at first is take him back to that night, settled before two husks and a man whose throat he'd ripped out, whose flesh had stuck in his teeth because he'd bitten so hard, drank so deeply that all he could do was stand there and let cold, unfeeling words tumble out past bloody lips.

He remembers Atem pulling him by the collar then as well...the moments are smeared together, like so much spilled blood, thick and slippery and red.

Ryou does hear the final question, and it pulls him back a little. Not completely, but enough to answer faintly:]

I'm...yours.

That's right.

[Atem releases the collar, for now. Both his hands come up to Ryou's jaw, holding him in place.]

You shouldn't steal yourself from me, and give you to somebody else. That wouldn't be right either, would it?

[Keep him talking. Frame it any way you have to, to keep him here, to stop him from making his pain worse. A stay in La Forteresse helps no one. Not the people who were hurt, and not the one who did the hurting.]

Whose rules did you break? Mine, or AM's?

I broke the rules of this place, Atem. I broke your rules too, didn't I? I wasn't meant to be your penalty game...doesn't that bother you?

[The hands at either side of his face leave no room for movement. Ryou isn't going anywhere, and he accommodates their height difference as if there isn't one at all, but...in the dim light, it's easy to see his tail starting to glow, purple...then white.]

I don't want AM to hurt me. I'm not trying to take myself from you. But I hurt the situation of so many monsters here. That's the rules...just because Javert won't admit I did something wrong doesn't mean it's true. He's biased.

[Ryou's evidently not convinced yet, that he shouldn't go to monster prison.]

[He knows Ryou feels guilty. He needs something to deal with that guilt -- guilt that might be Atem's fault for involving him, and might be Ryou's fault, for choosing to pursue this path -- and that something absolutely, positively can't be AM.

Frankly...Atem's less bothered than he might be, that his game was interrupted, changed. A while ago, he might have been, but now...? Now he's more than an instrument of the shadow games. It doesn't set off the old sense of nails on a chalkboard, of wrongness.

But Ryou won't accept that right now.]

And will letting AM hurt you help the other monsters' situation?

[Another possibility occurs to him, and he goes on:]

Did somebody tell you that it would?

[Ryou lets out a sharp, frustrated exhale.]

Everyone wants us to be punished.

If I'm punished, then maybe they'll stop caring. Maybe I'll stop caring...

[And there it is. Ryou, once again, letting the whole of the monster population get in his head. Admittedly, people telling him he's making excuses and insulting him is...it's a lot.

His next words are quiet.]

I deserve it. It's like someone's screaming at me in my own head...

Edited (actually lemme add one more. tiny thing.) 2022-03-31 00:31 (UTC)

[He won't stop caring.

The peninsula won't stop caring.

If they even find out Ryou went to the prison, which they might not...

Atem shakes his head.]

I don't care what they want.

I only care about you.

They won't stop caring. They didn't stop caring about Daniel, or Javert. You're falling into a trap that's designed to cause you more suffering, and you'll only come out of it with more scars on your heart, more easy to hurt. And I'll be hurt, because you're a part of my heart, and what hurts you hurts me.

[But, if Ryou needs something to get him out of his own head...

Atem takes a deep breath, and lets it out.]

You broke the rules of my game. If it's a penalty you want, I'll give it to you.

[Ryou's almost completely softened and distracted by Atem's words, to the point that his tail glow starts to fade back, and he almost. Almost relaxes, because Atem's speaking logic at him. He knows it's true

(but you still did something wrong)

and he knows that what he's doing is charting a path down an inescapable road of agony. Ryou doesn't want to hate himself.

(you should)

He just does, with particular regard to this. There's something uncomfortable and angry in him, and he's begun to grow very familiar with it and isolate it as something that's joined the low hum of emotions he can't really control, ever since January.

...Those same angry, dark emotions are brought to attention when Atem mentions a penalty. His glowing eyes focus up, not because he wants to suffer that penalty, but because his brain's eating itself alive.

(you deserve it you deserve it you broke it you have to fix it)]

...Tell me what I can do. I want to make it right. I don't want to end up like...like them.

[Congratulations, Atem. You have found the correct dialogue.]

Unfortunately...nothing here will ever be "right." It can't be made that way...we can only protect ourselves, and what matters to us, and leave it to others to protect what matters to them.

But...

[Behind his eyes, his mind is racing, wheels turning.]

...let me see what can be done, to quiet your mind, to balance the scales in your heart.

[Maybe, if he can trick Ryou's mind into thinking it's already been punished, it can work like the Haftesal procedure...give the heart something close enough to what it's craving to let the worst of it pass by.]

If you tell me "enough," I'll stop. Do you understand?

I know. Nothing here is okay. That's why I chose this path.

[Much like before, Ryou's tone is quiet and distant. Part of him...it wants to run away from that, make it dead to him, because doesn't it hurt? Isn't it painful to have to remember this?

No. No, that's not a thought he should be having. Instead, he nods to acknowledge the rest of what Atem says.]

I understand what you're saying.

I'm in your hands.

[He nods.

Where should they do this...? He doesn't want it to be in a place that feels too unsafe, but if it goes wrong, and makes a place that feels safe feel unsafe, that's not good either....]

Where would you like to do this? We can do it here, or...I can make you feel as though you're somewhere else, if "home" isn't right.

[This is the first time he's hinted at what his tier 2 powers can do.]

You choose. And, if going somewhere else isn't right either, I can bring you back.

[Ryou glances around the apartment from his vantage. He looks at the bookshelves, the sofa, the coffin-table. He can't see Tybolt...but knows he's around.

This...is Ryou's home. This is where he feels most comfortable, where he retreats to hide when the world is too much to handle. He doesn't want it to become an ugly place where all he can remember is that he told the person he cherishes most to punish him.

...He can also read between the lines, upset or not. He gets the idea of what Atem's insinuating, and it's not something that was native to his power set as a vampire. It doesn't sound like it.

It sounds...scary. But...]

Somewhere different. This is our home, I don't want to be here for this.

...I trust you, with all my heart.

[Which is, ultimately, a very ~~gay~~ odd thing to say when you're telling the person in question to punish you. But Ryou knows what he's asking.]

[He gives Ryou a brief, soft kiss.

Atem already betrayed that trust once, by leading Ryou down a path that made him want to get himself hurt. He won't do it again.

When he pulls away, the world around Ryou will fall away, as well.

He's manacled to a table, and Atem is sitting on the other side of it. The walls are stone, and if Ryou tries to phase out of the restraints, he'll find it very difficult: all his senses tell him, you're in La Forteresse, in a conference-room.

Atem is sitting across from him, a pen and official-looking form in front of him.]

Your confession, please.

[He picks up the pen, places it to the paper.]

This will be going on your official record, and will affect the extent of your sentencing...so, please be thorough. Tell me everything you've done to harm the other monsters.

[Red eyes flick up, to meet Ryou's.]

Whenever you're ready.

Edited 2022-03-31 16:35 (UTC)

[Ryou feels...unbalanced at first, as if he'd blinked and gone somewhere completely different without realizing. It's disorienting and takes him a minute to get used to.

He glances at his hands, moves them a little. The metal is heavy. He can't leave. His eyes half-close, lips parted as he acclimates to this new reality. Then...Atem speaks, and his gaze is drawn upward.]

A-ah. Uhm.

[Confession?

He looks down at the paper...then back up to Atem. A confession. Right.]

Just the monsters...right?

[One long, clawed finger runs along the table, scratching against the surface. It feels real to him. It feels like this is actually happening.

(it should. you belong here)]

I've caused emotional and mental distress to many monsters with my actions, and closed off several of their options for integrating into densely populated human areas like Bavan. I've disadvantaged other shades with what I've done, because no human will ever delineate one shadow from another.

I've said...a lot of things I didn't mean. To make people hate me. Because I...I don't like myself. I said I wouldn't do that again, I'd respect myself better than that, but...I did it anyway.

And I...acted on my own feelings during an event I had no business interrupting. Your game.

[As he speaks, he mostly stares at his own claw, scratching against the table, but from time to time, he peers up at Atem, gauging his expression. That's where his eyes settle at the end of his tirade. on Atem.]

[The pen skitters across the page.

(In reality, Atem's gently directing Ryou to sit down, in one of the living-room chairs.)

The image of Atem murmurs as he takes all this down, disapprovingly.]

Mental and emotional distress -- [to monsters who were warned what the broadcast would involve and watched anyway,] -- sabotage of monsters' integration efforts -- [by participating in an event that would have frightened the humans away from monsters no matter what,] -- especially to shades, who are generally good at integrating with living humans and especially known for their rational level-headed reasoning -- [This is open sarcasm.] -- and...telling lies about yourself. [To protect your friends.]

Finally, losing your composure during another monster's operation. [One that was terrible to watch.] Is that all...?

[His own eyes come up from the paper, meeting Ryou's. They're cool, calculating, weighing.]

[To Ryou's reckoning...it sounds even worse when hearing it parroted back. And he knows, because he's not an idiot, that Atem is being sarcastic with regard to the part about shades.

His claw continues to scratch at the table, harder, making his fingertip ache. His ears lower, and if attention is paid, he averts his eyes. It's always hard to tell, given how they glow.]

...I think that's it.

[Isn't it enough? Wasn't just one or two of those things enough?

Ryou's tail curls around one of his legs, as if to seek some kind of comfort, but if it's him, what comfort is there to give, honestly? He needs to pay it back. That's all...]

All of that's pretty serious! I won't lie, it doesn't look good for you. But...

[He looks at Ryou (sits beside him) across the table (in another chair).]

...you didn't work alone, did you? There were others with you. Others who deserve to be here just as much. You're a criminal, but there was also a mastermind, a thief, a butcher, and the one who made it all public...

[It's meaningless suffering, Atem's found, that's hardest to bear. So, he shifts the focus of the punishment.]

Give me their names, and I'll reduce your sentence. I won't be as hard on you, if I get to penalize them all.

Edited 2022-04-01 00:03 (UTC)

[Impassive as he looks in reality, the Ryou in the hallucination has an immediate reaction to that offer. His shoulders tense, his clawtips all scrape along the surface of the table he's cuffed to as he balls his hands into tight fists, and his tail flashes bright orange.]

No. They don't deserve to be here.

[Ryou sounds very sure of himself there. He won't sell them out. That's why he said all the things he'd said on the network in the first place.]

We aren't going to talk about them. Just me.

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.

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cw some questionable D/s....

cw; blood and gore descriptions

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is this healthy? wigglehands. cw for some weird power dynamics

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cw: hallucinations, imprisonment

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