knifemonopoly | IC inbox

...

[Well. So far, so good. Okay.]

I don't know if I can do it now...it was pretty tricky getting it open the first time, even though I needed to to feed...

[Atem lets go of Ryou's hand so that he can reach for the seam that runs almost-invisible along his jaw, catching his claws in it, seeing if he can remember how to get it open. Can he only do it when he has to eat? Or will the muscles work no matter what? Carefully, he pries at it.]

Lust warned me to be careful about my jaw coming unhinged inconveniently, but actually, I've had the opposite pro--

[Annnd there it goes! The entire lower half of Atem's face splits, opens, and there's rows of teeth and a fleshy blue tongue and two huge, hollow fangs that uncurl from the roof of the mouth as the word loses all articulation and becomes a rumbly monster growl. It's not aggressive, not a warning, more like a surprised praaah--! but with reverb.]

[Okay, now Ryou can see the seam, now that Atem's fingers are prying at the edges. He tilts his head anyway, because he's trying to figure out the anatomy of it and OH. OH SHIT OKAY NEVER MIND THERE IT IS.

He tenses, because there's a mouth under Atem's face and that's...so weird, and it doesn't really freak him out because it doesn't have the exact same arrangement as the creature that he's scared of, but he obviously can see the parallels. Ryslig really is a ridiculous place. How does the Fog know these things?

But all that aside...Ryou now has confirmation of where the sound came from, and once his surprise wears off, he wriggles a little closer to inspect Atem's fangs. It might hurt, but he doesn't care he has to see it! Up close and personal!!]

Ow! Eugh. Atem, that's...that's awesome!

[Said like an absolute weirdo.]

[S-- so far, so good?? He thinks? Atem murmurs--]

...hey, be careful...

[--when Ryou hurts himself trying to wriggle closer, but it's an undertone, an aside. He brings his face back down, so that the lower mouth falls mostly closed, and it's easier to do things like talk, and make eye contact. Sorry, the big boba-straw fangs are hidden again!]

"Awesome"? Heh...more like troublesome! I couldn't figure out why I couldn't eat. My mouth wouldn't open wide enough! But it turns out, I don't swallow things whole at all...

[Ominously, the large blue tongue slips out without Atem meaning it to, licking an upper corner of his lower mouth. But a lower corner of his upper mouth?? It's weird.]

Edited 2021-08-06 19:12 (UTC)

[It's truly a massive disappointment that the fangs are now hidden, but Ryou still finds himself tracing the seam with his eyes and familiarizing himself with the way it looks, how it might operate.]

Huh...I thought for certain that you'd have to eat a whole person, and I kept wondering how that would work out for you. If you don't swallow a person whole, then how do you--

[Tongue.

That's distracting. That is so weird, that is so cool!! Ryou can't help but laugh, just a little, because the tongue seems to be doing whatever it wants to.]

Ha...is that involuntary? Your other tongue doesn't look like a snake tongue at all...

[This is the best distraction from pain ever...he wants to touch it. He wants to feel the seam of Atem's second mouth. Can he do that? Is he allowed? Is that super rude?!

...He isn't sure if he's going to ask, but one thing's for certain. Ryou looks like a kid in a candy store, if the kid in the candy store looked buzzed.

N-not exactly.

[This attention....he's a little self conscious under it....not in a way that's entirely bad, just, it's a lot all of a sudden and Ryou appears delighted and not sad and in pain any more which is good and also nice to see, and, the blotchy redness on his face darkens a shade or two.]

I'm just not used to having to worry about two mouths at once...

[The lower jaw works, because it doesn't feel too natural holding it open like this without a purpose, and it looks like it's gonna close up again in a few seconds.]

[Ryou does in fact notice that the snake mouth is closing back up, so he blurts out his request without thinking.]

Can I touch the edges? W-when it closes, I mean. I just...wanna see what it feels like.

[Nailed it.

He doesn't realize, perhaps, how uncomfortable he's making Atem...yet. But the answer he gets has a chance of bringing him back to reality.]

[The correct thing to do here is obviously to say no. He ought to maintain some kind of distance, and not entertain all of this. Atem can skilfully redirect, he's good at doing that without hurting feelings, and he won't have to deal with much more than a moment of mild disappointment. Yep. Gonna tell Ryou the truth, that obviously the answer is--]

...okay. The bottom mouth is actually pretty safe...the fangs are sharp, but I don't think they're venomous!

[Yes!

Ryou settles himself down, just to free his hand up so that he can properly reach up. It looks absolutely inane, even he knows he looks stupid, but as long as the payoff is touching the seam, he's okay with that. Atem's just lucky he isn't going to try and pry it open again.]

I want to talk about it more...but later. B-because we're supposed to be sleeping.

[They are supposed to be sleeping. And then Ryou had to say a letter for a word game, and now here he is, reaching his dumb shade hand up to trace along Atem's jawline in what may possibly be the most anti-romantic motion, so no one can accuse them of ANYTHING, even if they were here to do accusing.]

[Thank god Ryou doesn't get romantic about it. Atem's not sure he can handle more than one person running their fingers gently over his face in the kind of way that makes you want to ask questions this week. He just...submits to the curiosity, lets the exploration happen, and is grateful the seam doesn't have as many nerve ending as his lips do. Because that -- that might have been a problem. His eyes might have fallen closed, and he might have given away--

--no. Nope.]

You're right.

I don't want to sleep, though...

[Nightmares where he cuts up and sacrifices the people he loves are hard on him. He doesn't know how many times he's going to have to relive it...]

[Curiosity temporarily sated, Ryou does then proceed to make it a little awkward, but not intentionally. He repositions his hand on Atem's shoulder, pulling just enough to beckon him closer.

Again, it's very silly, because Ryou's on his back at an odd angle.]

You have to. I know...bad dreams are not helpful. But you're going to fall to pieces if you don't recharge. If you wake up, I'll be here to remind you where you are and what's real. It's not the same as...seeing everyone else you dream about, but I can only be one friend...

[Despite all the ridiculous things that had just happen, Ryou can't help but try and switch back to comforting Atem. Nightmares or no nightmares, he can't continue this way.

It's worrisome.]

[Silly and awkward or not, Atem does shift closer, because pushing himself forward is the easiest thing in the world to do with a lower half like his -- and Ryou's right, he's already falling into uncontrollable laughing fits, he can't go on like this, even if he wishes he could.

But, maybe, with someone present to help pull him out of the dream, ground him in what's real, what's the waking world...

With a breath that carries an air of surrender:]

...I'll try. If you're here...then, it might not be so bad, when I wake up.

[Great job keeping distance there, Atem. You're doing a super stellar job at avoiding romance. But he's tired, and he loves Ryou, and predictable nightmares are the worst, and, let him have this. He's not positive when Ryou became someone he was comfortable leaning on, but it's happened, and he's glad.]

[Between the both of them, they might almost function as a person if they could just get a little more sleep. Ryou is bound and determined for at least Atem to rest.

He smiles encouragingly, and also apologetically because he can't really move from where he is, can he? He's stuck here, so it's good that Atem's body is mostly snake so that he could make the moves he needed to.]

Yeah...I'll make sure to remind you everything's okay.

[Yeah great job not making this terribly awkward. Ryou's sleepy and addle-brained right now, so he's okay with the current status quo. He wants to pretend that everything's perfectly normal between them and that being this close is fine. There are no awkward teen shenanigans in ~~Ba Sing Se~~ Ryslig.

Which is precisely why he sneaks his hand out to snag Atem's again. Normal. Friendship hand holding.]

[He doesn't mind the hand-holding. Actually, it reminds Atem a little bit of the time he'd died, his body torn to shreds in the back room of a casino, left a wreck in the wake of a mind-controlling parasite, when Ryou had taken his hand, and Atem had seen it, but he hadn't been able to feel it, and one of his last thoughts had been about how that made him feel sad...

But he can feel Ryou's hand now. Even if everything isn't okay, even if that's clearly not true and the lie makes him think of Kaiba, body changed into something unlike himself, working on a hope for escape, and of Noa, who threw himself into the vortex to give the Fog back her power, and Yugi, who's going to have to feed eventually but won't choose how, and Marik, who says he can handle what this place will do to him but Atem's not so sure, and David, who just doesn't want to go back to where he came from, and Mr. Mobius, who doesn't deserve any of this, and Mukuro and Horatio with their one-eye-apiece and Celeste who cut off her wings and Triffany who just wants her husband to live and everyone else whose happiness he'd fight for with everything he had who are stuck in this cruel, cruel game--

--holding hands is okay.]

It isn't.

[Fingers with claws on the end wind around Ryou's.]

But it's enough.

[Enough, for now, to have this support. Things don't have to be okay for him to keep going, and he doesn't even need to have someone else beside him to force himself onward, most of the time...but, right now, "Ryou Bakura being there when he wakes up to tell him he didn't actually just dismember Yugi or Kaiba or Celeste or Ima or any of the other friends he's dreamed about and that he's awake now" is close enough to "okay" to work.]

Like a wildcard...

[That sure does just slip out of his mouth with no context. No-Sleep Atem is inches from rambling about The Light.]

[Ryou's fingers squeeze firmly.

He knows better than anyone that things aren't really okay, and he'd only been saying that because...he wants Atem to feel better, somehow. They're both just a little too pragmatic for that though, so he just does his best here, and nods. Whatever Atem says, it's okay.

Ryou will support him...even if he is about to slip into a diatribe about the power of friendship or light or whatever.]

Like I said...I can't do much. But I'll keep you close. I'll be here. I'll protect you.

[He's serious. He's not kidding, even if it may as well be a joke coming from Ryou of all people, who was not fragile, but still managed to be emotional and easy to overtake. He wasn't made to protect...but his heart is in it, the words are strong, even if he isn't.

If the emotions in his heart were enough, then Atem would be shielded from any negativity. But the best he can do is words. And maybe...take Atem's painful emotions while he's sleeping to try and kill his nightmares.

He's not sure if he can do that. Can he do that? Maybe he'll fuck around and find out. It's not as if he isn't used to nightmares himself.]

Ahaha...I'm your wildcard? I thought I was a Joker.

[Ok there's a real joke for you. Friendly reminder that Ryou is not batting a hundred, honestly.]

[Hearing Ryou repeat I'm your wildcard? gives Atem the strongest sensation like he's just given away a tell. A powerful sense runs through him that he is doomed, that a bell has been rung that can't be un-rung, because it isn't the kind of thing you say to a friend, it's a pet name, even if the association makes sense. Atem feels distinctly like he's on train-tracks, like he's slipped and fallen and couldn't change direction if he tried, and must play out the rest of the game. So, he'll play, holding Ryou's hand in his and grinning over at him.]

Heh heh...sometimes, they're the same thing! It's not uncommon to play with jokers wild...and having one means that you don't need everything else to go right to win.

[Thank goodness Ryou doesn't have a vampire's sense for heartbeats. Atem's goes slower than a human's, because it's pushing a lot of blood through a very long body, but the pace it's setting is absolutely faster than normal. This is where Atem lives now, where he is telling Ryou Bakura very personally that even though Ryou's an unpredictable element, he's very valuable to anyone who holds him, and with him there Atem can do things the rules normally wouldn't allow, and all he can do is hope Ryou is too sleepy to read the tell.]

Edited 2021-08-08 14:31 (UTC)

[Blessedly, Ryou just take it at face value and doesn't ascribe further non-platonic emotions to it. But even though he doesn't think too hard about what being a wildcard actually means to Atem, he can't help but bring their hands close to his face. Again. And get snuggly.

Again.

But then...he yawns and there is absolutely no covering his big stupid shade mouth, so he just turns away because he's not about to exhale on Atem, but that means Atem gets a nice profile view of Ryou's yawn and the goofy way his lip pulls back and exposes his pointed teeth until the end of the yawn. Then he settles back into just...looking fondly at his friend with tired, half-shut glowing eyes.

He's sleepy. He's warm. If they keep prattling like this, then Ryou will be the first one to go.

So it follows that without understanding the gravity of his words, Ryou just murmurs something quietly.]

'S nice being someone's favorite...when they're your favorite too.

Edited (just changing a word!) 2021-08-08 15:59 (UTC)

[Uh huh, Atem's doomed. He's in over his head and he can only skip across the surface so long before he sinks. He is still skipping, for now, but eventually that surface tension will break, and one or both of them will get hurt, and there's no stopping it. Where did he misplay? He can't go back and review it now, he's got to live with the cards he gave up and the cards he's drawn.

He does not give in to the impulse to wind his lower half around Ryou again. He does not give in to the impulse to shift closer, to get Ryou's head tucked under his chin, to bring the hand he's holding to his mouth, to say anything that's on his mind right now. Instead, he lightly teases--]

Go to sleep, Ryou. You're already halfway there!

[God, is that true? Damn, damn damn damn, he can't, not when Yugi's moving closer to having to feed every day--!]

Mmh.

[Ryou allows his eyes to close, he tries to relax even though how he's positioned isn't...well, the most comfortable. He is halfway asleep, it came on pretty quickly, to the point that it surprised even him.

But there's a small thought at the back of his mind, one that has him open one eye to regard Atem.]

You too. Promise. Promise you'll rest. Told you before...you need it.

[Atem might believe he's referring to today, but actually...Ryou's referring to months ago, when he'd tried to impress upon a manic little vampire trying to do too many things that if he does that, his next move could be his last before a misplay takes his life. Takes his memories.]

Sleep...'cause you need it. To keep playing.

[Ryou closes his eye again, then exhales softly. He's not asleep that quickly, of course. But he lets himself relax for real this time. Maybe then Atem might relax too. Monkey see monkey do.]

[He does relax. Ryou may or may not feel the tension start to leave him, but it's not just seeing Ryou go to sleep, it's that these are safer waters. Even if they're still holding hands...it's easy to make this kind of promise.]

I know. I know it's necessary...I will, I promise! Even if I can't sleep, I'll stay here and rest.

[Because it's true, the longer he goes without sleep, the more likely he is to make a mistake, one bigger than getting personal in a way he shouldn't, a way that's irresponsible, since he's got to...he's got to find a way to win...]

[It doesn't take long for Ryou to finally fall asleep. Everything that had happened after he lost the word game had really taken what little energy he had left as it was. His fingers finally release Atem's hand, and he shifts awkwardly forward, as if he was trying to pull his other arm forward so that he could curl it under his head. Obviously that doesn't work...but it doesn't disturb him.

Nothing will...for at least an hour or two, which is when his REM cycle usually obliterates him with shitty dreams. Joy.]

[Heeeeeyyyyy, that's both of them! Atem, eventually, starts to murmur in his sleep.]

It's all right.

...

--for the Fog...for Ryslig.

...

It'll be over in a--

...

--struggle, you'll only make it worse--

...

--your arms, first, Yugi.

[He doesn't sound particularly agitated. Which, frankly, just makes it worse when he wakes up.]

--all be all right, you'll see--

Edited 2021-08-09 02:32 (UTC)

[It's not usually someone else that wakes Ryou from his dream. It hadn't even gone off the rails yet when Atem's voice pulls him from his own nap. He blinks a few times, grumbling a little as he focuses on what's being said--

--which involves Yugi's arms. Oh, that...doesn't sound okay.

Concerned, Ryou sleepily pushes himself up biting his lip hard to distract himself from the pain. Atem needs him. He said he'd be there, and he will. With some maneuvering, he squirms closer, pressing his face against Atem's neck, while his arm curves just over the other teen's head.

He doesn't say anything. He just stays there. Close. Protective. He doesn't think he'll be helpful, but he tries anyway. He's sure if Atem startles awake, then being in close proximity to someone will help. Absolutely. He just wishes he were Yugi so that Atem could see that the dream was only that.]

--sacrifice -- not in vain. A hero, to the--

...

--when it's over, you'll understand.

...

--do you hear him, Miss Fog?

...

--aah!

[...and startle awake he does, whether it's because of the unexpected contact in his sleep or something to do with the dream is unclear.

There's a long, slow breath in, unsteady at the edges, and Atem states wide-eyed at the wall of Ryou's room as the images he just saw play out over his brain repeat themselves, more awful now that his waking mind recognizes the horror of what he'd dreamed of doing.

Now that he remembers where he heard the words he was saying, the first time.

He doesn't know yet if Ryou is awake or not, and frankly, it'll take him a few more seconds to even begin worrying about figuring that out. He shudders, like he wants to crawl out of his own skin, because it was Yugi on the table that time, and Atem with the knife--!

It's not real, he tells himself. It didn't happen. Not that way. He helped Yugi draw some blood -- willingly. That's all. That's all...]

Edited (i just want to make it worse) 2021-08-09 18:23 (UTC)

[Ryou hates how it feels, to have Atem shuddering there. It's not that he hates Atem showing weakness, exactly. He simply abhors the very fact that anything could shake him so completely. This was one of the strongest people he has ever met.

And to reward his strength, he was put through so much, this place was working so hard to break Atem down to nothing, wasn't it? With the hydra, with what Daniel had done...all of it.

Wincing, Ryou pulls away and uses his arm to push himself up, and his own tired, glowing eyes stare down on Atem. Tired, yes. Pained, maybe...but determined.]

You are here. You're with me...and you're not that person. You can never...ever be that person.

[Atem couldn't be the kind of person that would hurt Yugi. He couldn't be the person who was subservient to the Fog God. And he certainly wouldn't carve his friends up in service of the Fog.]

[Usually, Atem would tell Ryou to lie down, that he might make his injuries worse, moving around like this. But there's still horror in his slit-pupilled eyes, he's still drowning in sleep-debt, and while he knows what's real, he knows and believes it when Ryou tells him he didn't do it, didn't do that, wasn't that person, he still whispers hoarsely, hollowly, the words spilling out as he grips the front of Ryou's shirt in clawed fingers:]

I was him. It was me holding the knife this time, I was--

[Daniel. Only instead of Elias, it was for the Fog, and instead of his mind in Yugi's body, it was -- it was eyes he's seen in mirrors in memories, and seen in Ryslig in person, betrayed and terrified as he realized what Atem was about to do, as Atem showed the Fog, who was watching, always watching--!

If it were anyone but Ryou, the words might not have come out. They might have stayed in Atem's heart, out of an unwillingness to speak them, a need to hide pain and sorrow even from people he trusts. But it is, so they do.]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.

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tfw when u gotta reuse the icon

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