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I didn't expect he would...

[Ryou doesn't think Marik's trying to move on. He thinks Marik's trying to avoid responsibility...but what does he know of it, really? It's just...Marik didn't think much of Ryou, of that he was certain.

He'd had time to think it over, and he'd come to a vague conclusion that to Marik, Ryou only represented a vessel for the Ring-Spirit. There wasn't anything else to think about.

Just a means to an end. Ryou Bakura had no value inherent.

...It kind of hurts, after how much he'd tried to help Marik. But he shouldn't be surprised.]

This is a long story...so it's okay if you fall asleep. H-ha...but anyway...

There was a card tournament...well not for you, yet. I remember it though. Battle City. It was a nexus for many skilled duelists, but the tournament also attracted Marik and his Ghouls, because of the God Cards. You and Yugi got mixed up in it...the God Cards were very important to regaining your memories, you see.

[He pauses for a moment, bringing a hand up to run a hand over his face and back across his forehead. His messy bangs eventually flop back forward as the movement lazily continues, terminating when his fingers reach his neck. He looks...uncomfortable, to put it lightly. He doesn't look at Atem when he says the next part, but he doesn't have to for Atem to notice, if he were looking, how very tired Ryou looked. No, not the sleepiness that both of them had been experiencing for a month. This was a different type of tired, one born of someone who is used to people controlling him, but not to the self-hating thoughts that chase that. Knowing you aren't all that important except for your utility.]

The other me...the spirit of the Ring...he made a deal with Marik for his Millennium Item, I think, and I was used as a way for Marik to get closer to all of you. Because...there's no better way to ingratiate yourself to someone than by "saving" their injured friend. So he brought me to Jounouchi and the others and all I could think of was that I couldn't remember how I got there or what had happened to my arm.

[Talking about this helps him ignore his physical pain, but it brings a different one in his heart. He almost wonders if it's a fair trade. Ryou also wonders if he's just...stopping Atem from resting at this point. Maybe he should stop.]

["God cards" and tombkeepers being connected tracks with what Atem knows from Noa. A Duel Monsters tournament, then, that attracted people from Egypt, connected to the Millennium Items...and his memories.

But all of that's not as immediate as Marik and the ring-spirit using Ryou as bait to get in with Atem's friends. A lower coil of Atem's body, heavy and cool, pushes over Ryou's uninjured leg, smooth reptile muscle tensing around the shin and knee, a thinner section closer to the tip curving and curling around the ankle and foot. There's a similar tension in the line of Atem's mouth as he says--]

Go on.

[Ryou doesn't expect that. He takes a moment to simply perceive the way that Atem's coils slowly slip over his leg, how the thinner part coils slightly around his ankle, and it kind of feels...strange. But not unwanted. It's like a hug, he thinks, and although Atem's snake body is a little cooler than Ryou's skin...the shade still feels warm.

But he's telling a story. He can't stop now. So he draws in a slow, shuddering breath that has him wincing because of how it stretches his upper body.]

Mmnh. This is where things become uncertain for me. Yugi's grandfather took me to the hospital, and I spent...some time there.

[Ryou Bakura and being injured go hand in hand no matter where he is.]

Then...I was at the meeting grounds for the semi-finalists of the tournament with a Duel Disk on my arm. I don't remember how I got there, but what I did know was that it was fine--it wasn't fine, though. But there was something in the back of my mind...t-telling me...

[His remaining hand clenches at the bedsheets between him and Atem, bunching them tightly as he thinks about how calm he felt. He looks down, staring hard at his own legs because this hurts. It hurts...knowing what it all was.]

...Something was telling me it was okay. This is where I'm supposed to be, don't worry about my arm. It doesn't hurt.

[He remembers how happy he looked, how happy he was for the chance to show his friends his deck, and even though he didn't know how he got all of his locator cards, it was irrelevant! It just was.

The way he speaks, the distant manner in which he slips into the present tense as he explains this to Atem now is reflexive. He's remembering being brainwashed and parroting those intrusive, calming thoughts that made it okay to be out of the hospital with blood streaming from underneath the bandages.]

...Everything I did when we got on the blimp past that, it felt like I was in a dream. My body wasn't moving without me, but I didn't feel like it was moving with me either. So I wasn't possessed by my spirit. He puts me to sleep. Marik didn't put me to sleep, he just dulled the nerves and made me happy and safe.

[Compliant.

That probably sounds familiar.]

[Oh, it sure does. Atem doesn't feel particularly sleepy anymore. Tired, yes, but there's a difference, he feels terribly awake, and the lower coil wraps all the way around Ryou's foot. He's not a constrictor, it's not tight, it won't hurt, but it's a slow, instinctive movement, a need to grip.]

Because he needed you there, willing or not, for whatever he was planning.

[He follows. He's calm. There is nothing not-calm about the way Atem's head has lifted off his arms, the even and slow way he breathes, the still tension of black underside-scales.]

Yes.

They both did. The whole gambit was to trade the Millennium Rod for the God Card in your deck. It's funny...they were following the ante rules to the letter. Everything they worked together on, and the most artful move my spirit could think of to help Marik was to stab my arm and thereby make--

[Ryou flinches, because...his next words are pretty much lacking in any self-esteem. It takes him aback that he could say it...but he's committed at this point.]

...make his vessel weaker.

[He's aware of Atem's coil wrapping securely around his foot and he might wonder about it more, but this story is hard to tell, and he's still not up to full energy. Maybe it's because of the story itself.

Nevertheless, he doesn't mind it, and it does comfort him somewhat. He feels like he can get through this, maybe.]

Anyway...my memories terminate sometime before you and I were chosen for the preliminary semi-final duel, which means the Ring-Spirit was in control. Like I said, he takes over completely, and I sleep. Maybe it was a mercy at the time.

But it wasn't a mercy when I came back to myself. When I woke up I felt as if...someone had reopened the wound in my arm.

[Which is the nicest way to put it. Actually it felt as if someone had jammed the knife back in, twisted it and broken the blade off. Later, once he'd had time to think about it, he realized that the weight of the duel disk and the repetitive movements required for playing a card game off of it were likely the culprit for opening up the wound. The Ring-Spirit was, after all, quite expressive, and he tolerated Ryou's pain far better than Ryou could ever tolerate it himself.]

There was blood...and the weight of the duel disk felt like a thousand pounds. I couldn't...I couldn't breathe because the altitude, I wasn't used to it yet. I couldn't catch my breath without it hurting, not nearly as much as my arm but it was all too much! Who would tolerate it?! I should have been in the hospital...

Th...then when I looked up, there was a creature. A monster.

[He can't help it. He finds himself following the contour of Atem's body where it terminated from human to snake, the colorations of his scales, the way the form shifted softly. He sees those red and black scales and it makes his heart beat faster whether he wants it to or not. This isn't Atem's fault, it's not...!]

That was the first time I saw an Egyptian God Card. The Saint Dragon, God of Osiris. It was just a hologram, of course. H-hah...haha. It wasn't real, but...the Gods don't feel like holograms, and they're massive...when I saw it, it was looking at me. Atem, I...saw...this massive sky serpent and its big eyes and you'd think that I would find it interesting, because it had two mouths and it was wrapped around the blimp like a python--

[Ryou's rambling now, with no discernable endpoint as of yet. It's very clear that waking up, being in pain, and not being able to catch his breath had already frightened him, but seeing Osiris staring down at him and not feeling like it was a projection...it had affected him strongly.]

They pushed me out...so you wouldn't attack me. The spirit was going to lose in his next turn so...because my soul and body were weak, Marik and the spirit put me there. Your choice was surrender or...

[He doesn't finish that sentence. He doesn't have to.]

[This is important information. There are things here that Atem will want to follow up on, eventually, like the Osiris dragon being big enough to wrap around a blimp and the God Cards being important for regaining his memories and also whether the only thing Atem stood to gain was his memories -- what were the full stakes? But that can wait.

He grabs Ryou's hand, grips it.]

Don't look down! Look up here.

[His eyes, slit-pupilled, are still red. His mouth might be blue, but it's not the dragon Ryou is looking at.]

You're not on that blimp. That's over! You lived through that, and you'll live through this! You're going to be all right. And if anyone does anything like that to you, ever again -- I'll tear out their heart myself!

[whoa atem maybe slow down there

atem

....nope he's gonna stand by that, he means it, he'll do it, even if it's a monster who stands to lose memories from the death. They'll deserve it.]

[Whatever discomforting memory Ryou's trapped in, he's broken from it when Atem takes hold of his hand and fully distracts him with his words. He does look up.

You're not on that blimp. That's over!

Ryou knows he's not there anymore. He knows he lived but it still hurts, it bothered him that Marik had decided, once again, to take advantage of him. The gravitas of Atem's words should have Ryou backpedaling, telling him there's no need for such drastic measures.

But it feels good to have someone say that to him. For them to mean it...that they would protect him.

After all this, Ryou only has one thing to say.]

I don't want to be controlled. I'm tired of being a puppet. That's why...I hurt Marik. I wanted him to feel what I felt.

[He wants to sink into the bed, rather than be halfway sat up, and simply curl himself against Atem. Hide himself away under blankets and push his face into his friend's shoulder so that it doesn't hurt anymore. Such range of motion is very much lost on him though, and he hates it.]

[k cool cause he'd kill for you

like he'd kill for many people he knows but especially Ryou]

I understand why it happened. He hurt you, and he took you over again, and didn't even think about what it might mean to you...

[It's retribution he understands. Hurt back the person who hurt you. Atem didn't arbitrate it, didn't decide to do it himself, and it had ended badly with both parties hurt, but he gets it.

The thing is, Atem doesn't think punishing Marik further, himself, will do much good. Especially since Atem wasn't there (yet) and the guy has been almost ridiculously full of a desire to help...there are plenty of cases where Atem is confident he knows the whole story and sees where the scales need to be balanced and will take over the whole case, but this isn't one of them, not at the moment.

So, he asks:]

What do you want now?

[They're gonna keep holding hands. Yes, Atem realizes there's feelings here. No, it's not the most important thing to worry about right now. Offering comfort is worth crossing over into territory he might ordinarily be more careful to avoid.]

[Ryou looks at Atem with such a tired, lost look on his face. He's not going to let the naga's hand go. Even if Atem tried, Ryou would probably fight it weakly. That's what he wants--contact.

Telling the story was a bad idea, but it needed to be told, didn't it? Now Atem knew, and that uncertain part of Ryou's heart that was telling him he had no right to exact any kind of payback on Marik was...well, not entirely assuaged, but at least validated.]

I know you were going to anyway but...stay, please. Just...for a little while.

[He tenses a little, bracing himself a bit as he shifts his lower body in an attempt to slide down onto the bed properly. It's slow going, but he manages as best he can without using his upper body and therefore causing himself too much pain. He doesn't want to tower over Atem right now just by virtue of positioning and also being a shade. He wants to be on a level area with him.]

Mm...maybe we can do a word game. Kind of...ch-change the subject...

[...Yeah, that sounds stupid. What a great distraction, Ryou. Sure.]

Then again...maybe not.

No. We can play!

[He shifts his grip on Ryou's hand so he's comfortable. They're both settling in.]

We'll play a word dis-association game. The point is to think of words that don't have anything at all to do with the one that came before!

[You want to change the subject? Have a subject-changing game.]

We'll take turns...until one of us can't think of anything, or falls asleep.

[Ryou lets out a soft groan of pain as he shifts his left leg, brushing against the bedsheets, but it's brief. He's okay. He doesn't want to worry Atem when they're both tired and stressed.]

Yeah that's...fine. I can start.

[He tries not to think too hard about what to say. That would take the fun out of the game, right? Be spontaneous...

He lets his arm rest against the bed so that Atem's hand lays over it. The less strain, the more likely he won't pull it away, right?]

Um...socks.

[Probably a silly way to begin. But there's definitely plenty of words that have no relation to socks. Ryou's vaguely aware of the fact that this is a simple game that's meant to make them keep their focus off of patterns. Maybe Atem did that on purpose, because patterns make you think. Patterns...can lead to upsetting thoughts. Neither of them need anymore of those.]

[He shoots right back--]

Coffee.

[Atem's playing on a slightly harder mode, since he's determined not to bring up words that relate to the story he's just been told, or what he witnessed on the beach, but he remembers the smell coming out of the break room at Liewen Labs, and how Kaiba had refused it for monster reasons...]

Edited 2021-08-05 01:28 (UTC)

[Coffee...sounds awesome right now--

No. No, he needs to sleep.]

Stars.

[Innocuous enough, he likes the stars. Those are patterns that he can get behind. He'd almost caught himself saying "water" though, which would have been both a bad reminder, and also way too close to coffee.]

[No celestial bodies, no weather patterns, no basic shapes...]

Pink.

[He shifts, settling a little further. The coils around Ryou's lower leg lose some of their tension, but don't unwind themselves. Atem settles his head back on his remaining, free arm.]

[Ryou feels the scales begin to shift from around his leg. He's not bothered, though there's a vague, tired thought in his mind that he hopes Atem got some warmth from that. Be warm and prosper.]

...Fan.

[He's probably not slick, but he can't help glancing at Atem, looking at his face and body language. No particular reason. He just likes Atem's face.]

[He's relaxing. Atem's whole body's sinking lower, getting flatter, and his eyelids are starting to get heavy...his face has definitely looked prettier, while it had hair, and wasn't feverishly sleepless. Sleepiness is starting to sink its claws into him, though it doesn't fully have him yet, and he meets Ryou's not-subtle-at-all glance with easy unconcern.]

Anchor.

[Something about that seems really specific and Ryou's probably overthinking the whole word game, but whenever Atem looks at him like that, it reminds him how very fond he is of the guy. Ryou isn't really focusing on the game anymore, just on how they're sharing space together, trying to make each other feel better.

It's...nice here. He can forget what pain the medicine isn't dulling if he just stares into Atem's tired eyes and thinks about how he'll look when he's sleeping, and he hopes it's peaceful--]

W.

[Wait. WAIT.

...Wait, it...could work. Should he draw attention to it? Maybe Atem won't notice and he won't have to try explaining but after all it is a lot of syllables so...!]

[Wait, what?

The unexpected use of a letter pulls Atem out of wherever his mind was wandering to, back to the present. It's like a note played wrong, or a missed dance step, and he looks at Ryou in befuddlement.]

W's not a word.

[Did Ryou get distracted? Is it the pain medicine talking? Why incorrect game move?? It's actually...a little funny...]

[Oh he noticed. He noticed, Ryou what the hell are you doing?!]

No...it's not. Y-you're right, I...don't know why I said it. It's a very long name for a letter though, so maybe...uh...

[Come on, his brain has to give him something here. Except it's not, this is a mistake he can't fix or backpedal on and now he's getting flustered. It's showing on his face, he said a letter. He will never recover from this embarrassment...]

L-look I'll just do a word now. Wheel.

[The W is there. Taunting him.]

[This....is silly. It gives Atem a feeling like a cat that's been pet backwards. There's rules, and a right way to do things, and W in place of a word is tickling his brain funny, hitting him in old thought patterns about shadow games, about how letting that slide feels weird, but Atem's not sure what he wants, or ought, to do about it. He's very tired, and something about the look on Ryou's face, the broken game rule, the halfhearted justification, hits his exhausted, only-slightly-magical, living brain just right to send him into--]

Heh...h-heh...

[--he buries his face in his arm and the pillow just in time, before an absolute fit of laughter takes him. It might be sinister laughter, if it were any more under control, if the body language Atem's giving off weren't absolute shoulder-shaking mirth. Take a spirit of vengeance's evil chuckling and put it on the stove until it boils over, then muffle it with an arm and a pillow, and you'll get what's happening here. He can't breathe. His coils are seizing up. Oh god.]

Heheheheheh--hrk! Mmh-- H-hahaha--!!

[Oh no. Oh hell, Ryou's broken Atem, he's laughing and he won't stop, and it looks so uncomfortable and he's not sure...if he's in trouble?!]

I'm...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break the rule, we didn't agree to what would happen if someone broke the rules, we just...uhh!

[Ryou...admittedly isn't in much of a better state, he's taking this about as well as a child who thinks they've done something wrong, for absolutely no logical reason. Nervously, he attempts to raise himself up except NO. Nononono can't do that can't...oww. All he really manages to do is give Atem's fingers an unnecessarily hard squeeze.]

A-are you okay? It's...n-not that funny is it?

[Again, IS HE IN TROUBLE?! Does he have to levitate his laptop to himself and dial a friend?!]

[Gasping for breath, Atem forces his head up, his eyes open, to look at Ryou -- oh no, Ryou's upset, Atem has to get it together -- he gulps in a lungful, and tries to speak, but he just gets out--]

I'm not -- I'm not going to...snrk! H-haha...just because you...

[He remembers what set it off...annnd then he's lost again. A second set of vocal cords is involved now, there's a deeper, chestier undertone to the laughter, like a much larger beast hmhmhm-ing with its mouth closed. A very long name for a letter, indeed!]

--W! Mmweh heh--

[He squeezes Ryou's hand back, picking it up and pushing it back down on the bed like he's slapping a table in mirth, and the tip of his tail raises off the bed to do the same thing -- but unfortunately, it's still healing, too, so when it comes down on the bed, even though he's still laughing, Atem flinches.]

Hhh--ouch! Ha ha---ow.

[But it lets him breathe. Okay, okay. Ohhh his sides hurt. But the laughter's faded down to small aftershocks, now.]

Ah...ha ha...it's all right! I'm -- I don't -- I'm not sure what came over me. Haha.

[A sleep deprived giggle fit that's a little bit informed by weird supernatural bullshit, that's what.]

[Have you ever seen the visual representation of someone keysmashing? That's Ryou, for several reasons. Firstly, what the fuck is that double-laugh? Ryou needs to know where those sounds are emanating from, because if it's coming from Atem then he has at least 2 follow-up questions.

Secondly now that Atem said W, that's about the time that Ryou came to the realization that it was in fact pretty funny funny, he's not laughing because he's going to bite Ryou for breaking the rules which--Ryou Bakura you have been living with this guy for months, since when is that a fear?!

So he kind of...laughs too, but his laughing is softer, more repressed, because laughing hurts and Ryou's got quite enough of that in his life.]

Oh...oh no, don't do that...haha...your tail. You're going to hurt it worse. B-but I'm glad I didn't upset you...

[Why did he think he had? Seriously.]

[There's straight up tears of laughter in his eyes.]

Heheh. Yes. Of course -- I didn't mean to, I just forgot...

[Breathe in. Breathe out. All right. Okay. He felt funny about the broken rule, but he's absolutely not going to cause any pain or suffering over it, god no. Protect Ryou Bakura. OK. OK, he's good. Oxygen is working its way into the stitch at his side. He's relaxing again.]

Not sleeping very much must be getting to me...I've never had a fit like that.

[Whew. It's a good thing it was in front of Ryou, who he trusts, and not anyone he thinks is a danger to him or his friends, who he wouldn't want to see it...]

[Man...Ryou wishes he could roll over and hug Atem. Why does he have to lack the arm to do so? He feels personally victimized by the lack of close contact he can have.

In protest of such, he releases Atem's hand just long enough to twine his whole arm around the naga's. He pulls it close enough to press his face against Atem's forearm. Look it's not...he's just hugging him as a really good friend. Let him have this.]

Not sleeping...is terrible. I'm sorry for saying something so stupid, but...you have a nice laugh so I guess I don't feel so bad.

[Does he have a nice laugh in actuality? It doesn't matter. Ryou likes it. That's his reality. Atem laughing until there's tears in his eyes is...good. Ryou likes it. Now that he knows it's fine, his heart is practically swelling with contentment that Atem could break loose for 2 seconds. Even if it was in a sleepless haze.]

...Well actually. Your laugh is nice but I think you were doing some weird monster nonsense in the background. Because you were...extra-laughing.

[Ugh, that sounds dumb.]

Like. Laughing...but darker.

[No. That's worse. Ryou closes his eyes. He can't look at Atem after saying that, the words that are coming out of his mouth are stupid and he can't figure out how best to describe the resonant rumbling that had been emanating from his pal here.]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.

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cw; brainwashing, possession

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