knifemonopoly | IC inbox

[One night, a day or two after the directions and timetable are sent, a bat flutters out of the woods.

This isn't particularly unusual, except that the bat heads right for her deck, swoops in, and in a blink of dust and mist, there's a person standing there instead.]

Is now a good time to drop in?

Yugi!

[ Her smile is wide and warm with affection. Annie has just ate tonight and her finished plate is near by. It is hard to tell what she was eating because she has just figured out how to make something sort of like a stir fry. The sauce isn't exactly soy but it worked well enough for what she was doing.

Honestly it smells more like the cabbage and carrots she had chopped up into nice chunks. Annie thinks she did pretty good. ]

Perfect timing. I was thinking of grabbing some brownies or one of the mini tarts I've been toying with. Want to try? I have a sweet tooth or two.

Well...I don't want to impose...but they do sound pretty good...

[He's not about to make a fuss about whether she's been eating human or not. He trusts her hunting preferences. He's not even uncomfortable with the idea, and jumps right to being up for socially sharing dessert.]

You're not imposing. I'm your host. I want to do nice things.

[ She considers the deserts and chews at her lower lip thoughtfully. ]

I have wine. I don't know if you want that or something else.

[Something else, huh? He figures she means blood. She did mention monster-style drinks, but he's had more opportunities to eat last month than he expected. He's good there.]

Don't worry -- I'm set on the feeding front.

[That said...he's not much of a drinker, even though he's been offered alcohol more times in the last month than he has in his entire life...but it might help smooth out a conversation with the potential to get awkward or personal.]

But I'll gladly share a dessert and drinks with you.

I meant like soda. But I am glad you're staying fed. It's super dangerous to push the envelope with that.

[ She nods quickly in response.]

Alright. Do you want to come in? I've never been clear what "rules" vampires need to follow. I just happen to value my privacy too... honestly. It's going to be a touch weird because I am going to be completely open. Anything you need to ask is on the table. I just ask anything I tell you is private remains so. I know a few monsters are homophobic and I'm not ready for that argument.

[Suddenly very serious, clapping a palm to his chest, over his heart:]

Of course. I'd never betray something a friend told me in confidence! Nothing will leave the room if you don't want it to.

[Wow way to get weirdly intense about it. But personal matters, things that can get you hurt if the wrong person finds out...he takes those very seriously. It's the shounen protagonist protect-your-heart thing, he can't help it.]

Thanks Yugi.

[ Annie smiles brightly at him. She knew she could trust him. She stands and brushes her skirt off. ]

Come inside. We'll get some drinks and desert. This is going to take a bit, but I swear it's totally worth it. Do you want any history too? It might help to have some American history when it comes to LBGTQ stuff.

[ She feels like talking about the Stonewall riots is important for explaining why people get nervous. The community as a whole still has a lot to struggle with and while she knows she is basically a kid in the community sharing history and knowledge seems important. ]

Oh! Sometimes we add a plus too for people who don't fit the "standard mold". No one person is the same.

L-G-B-T-Q-plus?

[He repeats. It sounds a little bit like someone beat the LGBTQ game and came back for the true ending. But he doesn't say so.]

Human relationships sure are complicated...

[He'll follow her in, the invitation clearing the way for him to be anywhere besides her deck. She has a really nice place! The other Yugi likes living in the apartments for now, but she's like a queen in a castle.

But he'll listen to the history! He thinks their worlds aren't that different, since she seems to know about high school, but he should probably establish a baseline.]

Where I came from, it was 1997 -- Japan, on Earth. Anything that happened after that, or in a different world, I won't know at all!

Basically there are things not covered that we want to include but as we're learning more about gender and sexuality there's a lot that doesn't get covered. Like for example there are people called asexual. Basically they have almost no sexual attraction, but they do date! Sometimes.

[ 1997 seems a long time ago for someone born in the 2000s. She considers that and lets out a sigh as she leads him back to the kitchen. ]

I was born in the early 2000s. That's long enough back that if you had a kid they'd be old enough to legally drink in the US. Okay. That does help!

[Ah....another person from after the turn of the millennium. She'd probably have heard of Twilight. She's from, what, the second decade of the new one? That's about twenty years...he supposes a lot can change. A lot changed between the 70s and the 90s.

He wonders what gaming's like.

If there are flying cars.

Apparently, anyone can kiss anyone, or not, and that's likely an improvement. People should be surrounded by people who they like, and who like them back! But, the intricacies of what relationships are like in the future...he'll do his best to wrap his mind around it all.

He follows her, literally amd metaphorically.]

So, in the nineties, it was a matter of not understanding human sexuality as well as it's understood in your time? And that's why there's so much I haven't heard of?

Right. Just because the words didn't exist didn't mean there weren't people who happened to be however they actually are. I've heard it called being your authentic self. Honestly I'm willing to bet there's going to be more words for people to describe themselves. That's awesome.

[ Annie actually smiles thinking about it. The future could be pretty bright! ]

My Dad's parents were the very... distant kind of people. He was literally away at a boarding school, so they wouldn't have to deal. The first friend he made is basically my Uncle. He literally runs a party boat down in Florida marketed to help people celebrate coming out. It used to be that people were told to be ashamed. There is some of that but that's part of why the LGBTQ community as a whole does need to work together. Being "out" isn't always safe which sadly hasn't changed since the 90s, but things have started getting better.

[ Annie takes a deep breath. She misses her family sort-of-uncle is included. What would he think of her talking about all of this?

Heck, he might be proud she is starting to sort her stuff out enough to be out. ]

It's also why it's important to protect people from hate. Hate is... like a poison.

[Being your authentic self, no matter what other people might think -- that, he can get behind.

Even if a party boat for announcing your LGBTQ+ debut in Florida sounds...like a lot. Is it glamorous? Like a presentation of yourself to the community? He's imagining an aquatic gay cotillion, with lots of swimsuits and wraps and sunglasses and tans, and boys kissing boys and girls kissing girls and some people not kissing anybody but being very happy about it.

He's not certain about all of that. That involves a kind of letting your guard down that the other Yugi isn't quite comfortable with, maybe not even capable of. The literal manifestation of his heart is a maze, with traps behind every door. He's shown different people here glimpses of who he is, but no one really has all of the pieces -- not even Ryou.

Not even him.

Even the spirit that inhabits the Puzzle doesn't know its real power. Even the pharaoh doesn't know where his heart's true room is.

Anyway--he leans against her kitchen counter, out of the way but close enough to talk.]

By "hate," do you mean bullying based on somebody's -- [He truly has very few words for this. He does not speak this language.] -- romantic self-expression?

[Which is what he says, instead of anything to do with himself.]

No. Past that. There was a case in my home state from not very long ago that made my Mom cry. She's one of the strongest people I know. I... I had a fit.

[ Her Mom cares about people so much. It is what makes her a good lawyer. Her passion to help make things better.

Annie grabs two wine glasses and pours them both a drink. She has to take a sip without letting the wine breath just to calm her nerves.

She misses her Mom right now. ]

There was this young couple. Women. They had gone out on what was supposed to be a romantic weekend together. Someone must have seen them.

They... they were killed. As much progress as I want to say we've made gay women are still murdered for who they are. Not to mention what happens to trans people.

[ She feels gross thinking about it. Yugi needs to know. He needs to understand if he is going to make connections with people. This is just the kind ofknowledge that hurts.

Hate hurts. ]

Being trans basically means your body doesn't match your gender identity. Which honestly shouldn't be a big deal but... you hear about them facing violence. Or. At least once a month you hear about someone being murdered. So. When we celebrate being out? We celebrate to defy the people who want to hurt us. We also mourn the dead because sometimes being out means your biological family rejects you and... someone should remember the beauty that person brought to the world.

[...........okay, wow, WOW, so, the future is still super violent, and being gay is one of those things that makes you a target. A very big target.

What the hell is that about, though, why -- why were they attacked, he'd have been surprised to see two women together before Ryslig if they were older than teenagers, but it'd be like attacking someone for still sleeping with a stuffed toy, that's incredibly wrong.

(After being in Ryslig a few months, he gets that there are people who like girls and people who like boys and people who like both and people who like neither and girls don't grow out of it and men who like men don't always want to be women and it's fine.)

And, the sheer frequency of the violence against people who...okay, he doesn't quite get what "your body doesn't match your gender identity" means. It's a lot like being confronted with a slang dialect yout don't know, and you do your best based on context because you're sharp, but it's an inexact science.

So, he accepts the wine, pulls himself together, and asks a question that will hopefully give him more context.]

Why are trans people targeted so often?

That's... complicated. People think it's gross and wrong for like, a person who was born as a man to say that no they weren't born right that they're actually a woman. It smacks in the face of their faith to consider that someone wasn't born in the body that reflects how they see themselves.

[ Annie has no idea if that will make sense to Yugi. It's absolutely insane to go after someone over something as basic as how they identify themselves gender-wise. ]

Wait. Yugi. Am I like.... going too fast? Do you even know what I mean when I say gender identity? I mean you are from 1997.

[ Annie says that as if it's another world. In many ways it is. ]

[Not being in a body that reflects how they see themselves.

That's something he's going to...not examine right now. He feels like it isn't an uncommon experience on the peninsula -- many people are likely not at home in their bodies here. He happens to be one of them.

But that's not what they're discussing.]

Not in so many words, but I'm following. You're talking about people who live as a gender they weren't born as. It's far from unknown -- there are several instances throughout history that we know of, and likely even more that we never found out about!

[He pieces it together with the tools he's got, gesturing with the glass of wine to punctuate his point.]

Expressing their authentic selves, then, means that if other people know their body doesn't match how they want to live, they face a real risk of violent retribution, due to religious fanaticism or other repulsion.

[Yes? Has he got it?]

Yes. It's upsetting anyone has to face hate like that. It seems bad enough to me that they have personal demons to wrestle with but add small-minded jerks? Yikes.

[ Annie shakes her head unhappily. ]

It's why I'm glad you wanted to ask questions. You're coming from a place of honestly wanting to know more. I think starting there is like, the first step to learning about things like this. I mean I'm pretty sure I'm either bi or pan I haven't figured that out. I just know deep down the idea of others getting hurt upsets me. Makes me a bit mad too if I'm honest.

[ Annie will throw down for other people. It's very her. ]

[He totally gets that. They get each other on that point. Hurting someone either one of them loves puts you immediately on notice. All she says, that's very true!

(He doesn't know what pan is but isn't going to make fun of it; no fuss is made, just a nod of acknowledgment.)]

And I want to be able to talk to potential partners for Javert without accidentally driving them off!

[He gives a little toast to her and takes a drink. Research! He's doing research, to help a friend, and to avoid inflicting unintended hurt. Nothing about it, he thinks, is personal, or anything to do with him. It's like he said -- he's a ghost with no memories. How is he supposed to be getting into relationships in that state? No. Nope. Gotta know himself first, gotta know he'll be good at it.

--actually, he should probably clarify:]

Bi or pan, that's "girls and boys," right?

Well.... Yes. Ideally we don't scare off anyone who is good enough for Javert.

[ Annie had almost forgotten about how serious this was. The Inspector needs better taste in men. Annie has no idea how to say that to the man so this is a better plan. ]

Um. Bisexual is boys and girls. Pan includes... More. Like there's some people who don't have strong ties to a male or female identity. I suppose you could say pansexuals are more concerned with "I find this person attractive based on qualities I'm super into" without it being totally tied to gender? I'm just.... I'm a young woman and I'm allowed to not be settled even though I know I like girls and boys.

[He nods.]

Do you suppose Javert is also bisexual? Or is it only men?

We should probably stick to men as candidates, since that's what we know for sure.

Hm. I think he prefers men.... besides I think there aren't enough age appropriate ladies who would be eligible.

[ Lust might be his type? If Javert liked women like that. ]

We just need to find the right kind of man.

....I might know something about what he's looking for.

We know he's got an unhealthy fixation on being punished, to the point where AM's torture gets kind of weird. There's something of his in the gift shop -- a poster of himself as a devil, and a strong-looking man with white hair as an angel. It's a little...

...how do I put this.

[He furrows his brow, making himself think past the little bit of wine that's already making its way through his system. The other Yugi is a featherweight, and could get drunk off of sufficiently strong fumes. This is an unfortunate fact.]

I think it all might be muddled for him -- the idea that, because he can't live up to his own ideals here, he deserves to be punished, and treated roughly. But he likes rough treatment, and the man in the poster might be someone he could really see himself being punished by! That is to say, I think he prefers the strong type. AM's muscular, too...so I'm pretty confident in my conclusion.

Edited 2021-05-22 22:41 (UTC)

You mean he's looking for.... a strong man who can be his dom?

[ Just the question leaves Annie blushing. Strong looking white haired man?

Oh. Slade had slept with Javert and that is literally the only logical conclusion Annie can come to. That makes sense and yet Annie isn't going to ever bring that up. Seems to be in bad taste. ]

Angels tend to be principled. I guess we find ourselves a dominate man of conviction who is over the age of thirty. Javert needs someone closer to his age. I think he's in his mid-forties? We need them to have a strong enough personality and conviction to not let Javert continue to think he needs to be punished. He's done enough of that on his own.

[He nods, feeling a blush creep across his own nose, in response to Annie's.]

Anyone more principled than a humanized computer that claims to be programmed for torture will be an improvement.

There's nothing we can do about AM being here. It's that whole Fog-god freedom thing -- no attempt to contain a monster will last forever. But we can try to reduce the damage. That's what Javert was trying to do, by giving him the prison...it was to keep him occupied, away from other monsters. It meant humans got thrown to the wolves, but by then, I suppose, Javert had already started trying to convince himself humans didn't matter. The guy's crossed so many of his own lines since becoming a monster -- he had to redraw them in a way he thought he could live with, but he couldn't let go of how he felt, not really. His old ideals are still there, so he feels like a bad person.

It's pretty messed up, the relationship he and AM've got.

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.

lets go lets go

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cw: talks of homophobia

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cw nonmalicious flippancy about LGBTQ+ in the meta

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CW: discussion of homophobia and transphobia

big ol cw for dated Japanese attitudes toward homosexuality and trans issues

cw: talk of transphobia

cw dysphoria and well meaning but clumsy language about transgender people

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cw torture mention

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cw torture, bad relationship dynamics