knifemonopoly | IC inbox

[Ryou waits for about five days before he starts to become concerned that Atem isn't coming back home for...a while. He expected that Atem would be gone just as many days as he had been, and then they could...work on this.

But Atem still isn't coming home. So...he finally gets his courage up to message the other monster. He keeps it as brief as he can.]

Atem?

are you okay? i just want to make sure that you're doing alright. I didn't think you would stay away so long.

i'm really really sorry, i just want you to know that.

and if you want to switch, we can. or if you want to visit tybolt, i can leave. let me know.

we can talk. or we could wait a bit more.

~~i miss y~~

i love you.

[It's hours. He's been spending a lot of time offline. But, when he does get the message, he thinks about how he's going to reply...he thought it'd be clear why he's staying away, and for how long, but if Ryou's worried, then he should at least give signs of life.]

I'm okay. Don't worry! I've been staying with friends. Nothing bad's happened. I know you're sorry, and we can talk about it soon, but not until you're not a nephilim anymore. I know how it can be, as that monster type... It ends after August's fog, right?

[Ryou feels as if his heart's dropped to his stomach when he finally sees that message. So...this is about being a nephilim now? This isn't just about their fight, and what Ryou did. It's about what he is, and what he can't change until...

...Until maybe post-fog? It really hurts, he's already missed Atem for a long time. The apartment isn't a home without him, even if they just...stayed in their rooms, it would have been better.

But no.

Ryou fucked it up. But at the same time, Atem was being, in his own way, unkind. He didn't want to share space with Ryou because Ryou had done something hurtful, but Ryou had always let Atem stay in his space, even while they were upset. Maybe Ryou just doesn't have the right boundaries.

Maybe he's come to rely on Atem far too much...

Despite what he's thinking, Ryou says nothing to indicate what's really upsetting him. His text gets sloppier, but that could mean anything, right?]

i'm glad you're okay.

if i get enough coins im changing on the 4th

ill let you know

[Straight to the point. Atem's made his decision, and Ryou has to live with it.]

Okay.

[Is this the right move for Ryou? No way to tell. Atem can't read him through the text, not when they've been apart for most of a week, but it's easy to know that he's upset. The thing is, though, Ryou being upset doesn't mean Atem has to come back.

He wants to be away, right now. He doesn't want to go back, yet.]

I love you, too. Let me know.

[Atem doesn't know any of the "don't text first!! don't text for at least 3 days!! and DEFINITELY don't drunk text your ex!!" rules for dating. He doesn't know where Ryou is, or if Ryou is a nephilim, or something else.

What he does know is, he just drank something very pink, and he's feeling kind of...

...wistful. Nostalgic? Lonely. Pine-y. He misses Ryou, and even though they definitely have to talk things out...

...Atem wants to have the conversation. He pulls his laptop out of his bag at the Grapevine, and:]

well? Did you get enough coins? can I see you soon or will I have to wait

Edited 2022-08-04 22:12 (UTC)

[Well. That's quite the change from their last interaction.

Ryou doesn't mind though, even without the assistance of a bit of Sparkling's new product...which has, admittedly, had quite the effect on him. He only expected to change once, not twice.

It takes a few minutes before he responds, at any rate, because he's busy functionally emptying the fridge out after his trip outdoors. Both to the bar, and to the place where the Haftesal scientists were offering something to curb monster hunger.

Which, by the way, didn't work for him. Bad luck.

...But bad luck balanced by the good luck of his boyfriend messaging him.]

I did get enough. Come by, please. I've missed you so much

I'm not a nephilim anymore. So you don't have to worry...but I do look weird.

[When Atem returns, he'll find the house mostly in order, albeit with some furniture moved aside...some knocked over, since Ryou had to learn how to slither and he's never been this large before. And coiled tightly around the coffin-table, woven between the furniture? An unreasonably large naga, at least considering that Atem himself was around 15 feet long.

But...Ryou's currently a naga that looks as if he's made completely out of gummy candy, from the top of his head to the tip of his snake rattle.

...which is missing a few sections. Ouch.

He's busy trying to essentially pour a cup of instant ramen down his throat. Super attractive. Hella. Closer inspection of his gummy body will show his descent into hunger-madness, with various unidentifiable food items making their way through him.]

it's okay if you look weird, I still want to see you

[He types out, and then --

-- and then, oh god, he goes into his gummy fog form, and a whole BUNCH of other stuff happens, and he finally gets medicine for it that his Gamer's Intuition tells him is the right choice, and --

-- it takes him an hour to get there, all told.

And what comes in isn't a merperson -- it's not a knock on the door, or even on the window. It's a sound like a million grains of sand, blown up against the window -- and then, with a whoosh, a cloud of sweet-smelling tart-smelling dust slips in through the cracks, where it's not weatherproof. The sandstorm of Pixie Stix dust swirls around in the air in the living room, then coalesces into Atem's vampire fog form --

-- well, basically. It's a chocolate bat-headed man, with a distinct scent of cherries, especially from the mouth.

He looks at Ryou with eyes that look even more liquid than their usual pupilless red, and...]

You too, huh...

[Ryou nearly chokes on the noodles when Atem slips into the house. But for some reason, it's much easier not to choke on things like this. He's not sure if he gets it...but at least he doesn't embarrass himself.

...That way, anyway.

Because while the candy dust is transitioning into Atem's fog form, Ryou curiously tastes at the air between them. Out thpthpthps his tongue, which is also candy. The two bits of hair framing the side of his face twitch upward...then also sample the air with their own tongues.]

Ah...y-yeah, it's...it's alright though. You look pretty handsome, you know. Your candy looks don't come off as silly as mine. A-and you smell nice.

[God, he missed Atem. Ryou tried to slither his way forward, but it's slow-going, he's not the best at using these muscles yet.]

Can I...hold you? Please?

[A lot of it is the juice speaking...but some of it is ALL OF HIS PINING.]

[Is the chocolate getting thinner on his face, or is that a blush? Hard to say. Horrifying, if he's so flustered the cherry liqueur's coming through.

He sort of wants to say, I was a gummy crocodile earlier. I let Nanami eat my jewelry. She asked nicely. He also wants to say, is your tail okay? Did somebody do that? If so, Atem wants to scare them out of their minds. He's not the kind of person who allows something like that to happen to his boyfriend.

But...that's no good, is it? He needs to talk about that. They need to talk about that, and a lot of other things, and...

...he doesn't say anything about that, either. Ryou's asking if he can hold him, and slithering inexpertly in a new body towards him, and for some reason, it's the cutest and most endearing thing in the world, so Atem, instead of answering, crosses the rest of the distance and wraps Ryou's gummy torso in two chocolate arms and two chocolate-and-marzipan bat wings.]

Only you'd think I was handsome while I have a chocolate bat's head.

[It's said very, very affectionately, with a press of a cheek to the side of Ryou's head.

Squish.

And, at this distance, he's definitely full of boozy cherries.]

[Oh...

Well, that's alright then. It means Ryou doesn't have to look silly trying to maneuver a third of himself towards Atem, when the rest of him is pretty much spooled around the furniture. He's glad.

...But mostly, he's just happy that Atem's here, and he returns the embrace as tightly as he can, what with his opaque, squishy countenance. It must feel strange...but he doesn't care. Atem smells sweet and feels familiar, despite his chocolate skin. Ryou's tongue flicks out again, gently tickling against Atem's wings. He's not tasting to be rude, he's inspecting instinctually. And his two hairsnakes betray the scope of his fondness by planing their little bodies across Atem's face and shoulder, wherever each of them can manage to touch.]

Of course...I love you, every part of you, every single form. No matter what, that's not going to change.

Besides...the first time I think I came to admit to myself that I didn't just like you as a friend was after you bit me in this form. So...naturally I'd find it attractive.

[A bit of Ryou's gummy coils slides forward, now that he's mostly supporting his upper half in Atem's arms.]

I'm...just so glad to see you...

[He knows he's speaking too much, but if he doesn't say it now, how will Atem ever know for sure before he has to leave again, if he chooses to?

They need to talk about other things. But just for a moment...he wants to be kind and loving.]

[They need to talk.

But, maybe, they don't need to talk right now. Atem's heart is fizzy, warm, and as long as that tongue doesn't hurt, Ryou's free to sniff at his wings. Even the gummy snakes aren't shaken off, just allowed to be part of the hug. Being told he's attractive in this form, again, has his cheeks feeling fizzier.

Ryou-as-a-gummy-snake is odd-feeling, organic and inorganic at the same time, squishy in a way entirely unlike skin and bones. But, it's definitely Ryou, and even though his hands are chocolate, they slide up Ryou's back, pulling him in.

This is very weird. They're both made of candy. But Atem's not ready to let go yet -- he doesn't want distance again, yet.]

I didn't know you liked it. I like all of yours, too...

[He's got so much affection in his heart, he's got to express it -- he has to make sure Ryou knows...

He has no idea how he's this touchy while his body is chocolate. It's probably a bad idea. He might -- lose parts of his skin, or break, and all the liquid he can feel inside him will leak out. But it'll probably be fine, as long as he doesn't do anything extreme.]

[Ryou smiles, a grin that goes up a little further than it should, but he doesn't feel the split of his mouth at this point, because everything feels weird. But this? He's so happy like this. He wants to remain this way, with nothing to worry about except whether their sugary countenances are going to somehow mix with each other, or if he's going to break a piece off of Atem by accident.]

I guess I need to express myself better...so that you know how much of you I like. I'll say it every day, so you can't forget. Never.

[He pulls back from the hug a little, then kisses Atem warmly, gently but with enthusiasm. This is happening. He's been starved for this kind of attention for so long...his heart feels as if it's swelling just in the proximity of his most important, cherished person.

It's distracting enough that he doesn't notice the odd, creeping white tint bleeding in from the tip of his half-missing tail like someone's dripping white chocolate along his coils...except for a few spots where the scales have facelike, anguished patterns. The top half of him is still candy, but the back half is slowly returning to normal.]

[It's funny -- his mouth is much wider than it should be, but so is Ryou's. Weirdly, they fit. Even though one of them's a bat, and one of them's a snake, and the snout should make it impossible, it's not.

Ryou tastes like sour candy and gelatin sugar, and Atem tastes like cherries, chocolate, and an alcohol content warning. His teeth are melted-and-cooled edible sugar-glass, his claws hard caramel. Atem steps forward, the side of one of his legs pressing against Ryou's snake-tail, and his hands slide back down --

--this is probably a bad idea, you were going to talk, what if you're too rough and your head breaks--

-- Ryou's back, to where the scale-texture picks up, and further down, and around his hips. Atem's wings stay where they are, around Ryou's shoulders, and his tongue leaves cherry syrup behind in Ryou's mouth.

Thank goodness neither one is warm blooded, or this would have gone much worse.]

[It's definitely an...interesting experience. Ryou doesn't really mind the challenge of kissing a strange face, and gives into it pretty easily. The sugar...well, he doesn't mind it, not really, but he could live without it after eating his weight in baked goods in the past two weeks.

Still, it's nice enough to pull a happy murmur from him as they kiss. Just as nice as the sensation of hands sliding down his skin--no, well...his gummy-like body. He wishes so much that he really was made of skin and scales again, so that he could feel it properly...and so that he could grasp Atem more closely to him without feeling his fingers oddly spread out like a soft rubber object.

Suffice it to say, they're making out until he really does need to catch his breath properly. By which time the entirety of his snake half has returned to its normal coloration and scale texture. He doesn't immediately seem to notice. Why would he? He's focused on his boyfriend.]

[Does Atem notice...? Unclear. He's still under the effects of the single pink drink he'd consumed straight an hour and a half ago; it might be beginning to work its way out of his system, at the tips of his claws and snout and wings, but it's slow going. He's still got that feeling where his skin feels like carbonation wherever he's touching Ryou, whenever he thinks about Ryou, whenever Ryou makes one of those little murmuring sounds.

A rumble's pulled out of Atem, from deep in his chest -- it's been a while since he's made this sound, and it's got an odd timbre to it, thanks to his current liquid-solid form, but he's begun to purr by the time Ryou has to break for breath.]

You do like it.

[He's breathless, voice pitched down because of the form and because of the kissing, still pressing forward, his front against Ryou's. This shouldn't go further, can't go further, but. Atem rubs his face against the side of Ryou's head -- there's trace amounts of chocolate in his hair now, but it's fine, it's fine.]

Maybe I shouldn't have been so polite, all the times we slept together like this.

[His hands are turning back to normal -- less smooth, more leathery.]

[Ryou's chest rises and falls, expanding both at his upper body and lower body because he's massive, and his heart beats louder than normal in his chest.

They should be talking about something else.

But Ryou doesn't want to talk about those things. Instead, he wants to kiss Atem again, once he's not catching his breath. Still, he murmurs breathlessly back:]

You don't have to be...you can do as you like, haven't I always told you...?

[The red is fading away, giving way to the last bit of scales and skin, and Ryou's hair is starting to gain its normal texture and color again. The chocolate flecks stand out a little more now.]

Though...didn't you think nagas were weird? I hope...that you aren't going to make me wait through this whole change of mine to make a move.

[That's...surprisingly forward. Is it loneliness, or juice? Hard to say.]

No--

[He presses purring kisses into Ryou's hair, which...something's funny about...]

No, I don't think nagas are weird. If the whole situation -- [A kiss.] -- hasn't been so unfamiliar -- [More kisses, lower toward the neck.] -- I'd have done what I liked with you even with a tail of my own. I wanted to, every time I held y--

[...hey, something is weird about Ryou's hair, weird enough that it cuts through the haze, and Atem's wandering hands go still. He pulls his head back, and looks.]

Ryou -- you're going back to normal. Did you take one of the scientists' pills?

[Atem's reversion is much slower; it's still only at his wrists.]

[Yes...yes, this is exactly what he wanted. Ryou tilts his head back, lets Atem have as much space to do what he likes as possible, drinks in his words--

--huh...?

Ryou blinks, and the red coloration bleeds back into brown. He's caught off guard when Atem starts talking about him looking normal, and...oh. Yeah. He is going back. Good though, right? He can see the piebald scales on his arms, and for a moment, he curls his fingers into Atem's shoulders--yes. Yes, those are claws.]

Ah...haha, I guess I am going back to normal. Maybe I just had the juice before you...but, um.

[It's still kind of in his head. He tries to shake himself off a bit, think more clearly. But Atem's other words are still sticking, making him a bit flustered.]

Oh...I did take the pills from the scientists. The red one. I've been terribly hungry since then but...you're here, so I didn't think about it.

[...Now he's thinking about it again though. Ugh.]

I don't know how to eat like this, though.

...We don't have to keep talking about it, you know. We could keep doing this, instead. Make out and such. I mean, you're starting to change back too, but that's good. I wouldn't want to cause any trouble to my chocolate boyfriend, right?

[Even though he's flirting, Ryou knows at the back of his mind that this isn't going to last. He remembers...they had been away from each other for a reason. For several reasons.]

Edited (redundancy oops) 2022-08-05 03:43 (UTC)

[....he has to clear his head. Atem's body feels off, but not wrong, thanks maybe to all his prior transformations or to the heady effect of the pink juice.

He definitely should not just keep making out with Ryou right now -- for a lot of reasons. One, as hard as it is to remember, they're fighting, they're not good right now. It's not fair to either of them to get physically involved.

And, two, chocolate off his face definitely came off on Ryou's hair. That's a bad sign. His body doesn't have a lot of integrity right now; it's a hollow shell, and could wear down, or break. The injuries would heal quick, though...]

I took the blue one. I've got a lot of energy, but I'm not hungry at all...

[His mouth is moving while his brain is thinking, through the pink juice and the Fog-day headiness. Atem takes in a breath, then lets it out; god knows how that worked.]

We shouldn't. I've already started to come off on your hair. See...?

[He reaches out with a normal hand, attempts to remove the chocolate-flesh-fleck, but it's really more of a smear. No, it's not good, Ryou will need to wash his hair later.

Atem looks down at his hands.

His normal hands.

I could work with this, a traitorous, very very alive part of his brain says, with a vampire's arrogance and a drunk bat's drive and a Tier 3 Fog' s bimonthly disregard for consequences.]

I shouldn't touch you too much with anything that's not back to normal...

[His eyes flick up at Ryou, still cherry-red all the way across, asking without words: do we...?]

[Ryou knows they're fighting. The pink juice is wearing off, but the light airy feeling of being intoxicated is lingering, made worse by his natural inhibition drop during the Fog. He'll probably still feel at least a bit of it for even longer than Atem might, but all of the food he's eaten is helping with the sobering up.

All this to say, he is still drunk, still needy, and maybe a little bit selfish as he pulls a no-longer-gummy hand away from Atem's back, bringing it forward to cup one of Atem's hands and bring it to his chest.]

...I want you to touch me, so badly. It's been lonely without you here, even if we parted on bad terms. I didn't expect you to be gone for so long.

[Ryou's body is almost completely normal now, though there's still candy-red fighting to remain, all around his eyes, from forehead to nose tip, but Atem can probably see white and grayish scales below that dividing line between candy and real.

That's why there's a drop in Ryou's stomach, as he says this. Drunk or not...he feels distraught, thinking about their separation. Candy affection can only take him so far.]

I love you. So, so much...and I know what I did was terrible, painful, and uncalled for. I subjected you to something awful when I wasn't in control, even for a second, and I caused you harm.

But...I thought that we were closer than this. Closer than...needing to stay apart for two weeks.

[He has more to say, but that's enough for now. He's not going to scream at Atem if he can help it. They screamed at each other enough that night.]

[...yeah, all right, that gets Atem cooling off. Ryou's right. There's too much between them for this to be a good idea. His clawed hand, no longer candy, spreads out over Ryou's chest -- he wants this so badly -- then retreats. He shifts back, away, so they're not touching anymore.]

We were closer than that. I wanted to come back...to say that it was all okay, and go back to the way we were.

[His cherry-red eyes look away.]

But...also, I didn't. Because we were close, Ryou, too close -- and my doubts about that are one of the things I wasn't telling you.

[He looks back up.]

Did other friends...did other people come by, while I was gone?

[Please tell him Ryou wasn't here alone, not going out, not sleeping, just being miserable as though he could never be anything else in the absence of Atem.]

[It's terribly lonely already, not having Atem touching him. But instead of closing the distance, Ryou instead pulls a loop of his snake body forward. First one section, then another overlapping it, until he has a snake shelf to lean on, so to speak. He can't make himself look less lonely though, or less pained.]

Some checked on me, because they heard us...others I invited over. I was...haha, I was a mess the first day or two.

[He doesn't look at Atem when he says the next part.]

But I thought it would just be...a day or two. I suppose that's my fault, for thinking that we could fix everything in such a short time. You had no reason to trust me as a nephilim.

...I like being close to you, Atem. You're the person I can trust most in this place. If you think that's wrong, then...we should talk about it now.

[Clear the air.

He isn't giving Atem appeasement behaviors now, not when he has had time to acknowledge, through talking things out with people, that he isn't the only party here who had made missteps.

They need to figure this out, or...

Or...Ryou isn't sure what.]

That's good...I'm glad other people came to see you.

[Atem takes a seat on one side of the couch. His body feels heavy, his stomach too-sweet; this is an uncomfortable conversation they're about to have, and Atem doesn't know where it will end.

He just knows that things can't go on the way they have, or...he'll be unhappy.]

I know you trust me.

I think it's wrong...how much you trust me. More than you trust yourself.

That's at least partially my fault...in January, and in March, you were hurting, and I didn't know another way to help you. I was afraid, too...afraid I'd lose you to a despair event, afraid my actions had led you there. So, I took control, to help us both feel better...

...and, I haven't been able to figure out how to give it back.

[He looks up at Ryou, picking his face up off a corner of the living-room rug.]

I've been trying. And, the way I've been trying has been to support you no matter what you do -- even if I don't think it's a good idea, I don't tell you. I can't! Because if I do, and you decide I know better, then...that's still me making your decisions for you.

I wanted to talk about it, but what I did counted as lying, to you...and as a nephilim, the idea clearly made you angry. But I also didn't want to stay here for two weeks, not really talking to you, hoping I wouldn't stumble on something else your nephilim-mind couldn't stand. I needed -- I wanted to be away.

I'm sorry. I know it was hard. But staying would have been two weeks of hiding my feelings from you...and hoping that didn't count as lying, too.

I would have been unhappy.

[Ryou adjusts, so that he's still facing Atem. His chin rests on his crossed arms, and as he listens, his tongue flicks out a few times. He still hasn't gotten the hang of stopping that from happening, but it helps him with learning a bit about his world now that he's a naga. Such as learning that Atem tasted very much like chocolate in his mouth, even though Ryou was just smelling the air.

At any rate, it's an involuntary reaction showing that he's listening, and interested in what Atem has to say.

...Unfortunately, being interested and enjoying are two different things. The small snakes framing either side of his face backpedal, hiding back in his actual hair.

Someone doesn't want to really be perceived right now. His snakes are lucky they can get away with it.]

I...want to talk about that. It's important to me that we talk about the whole...staying out thing. Which is okay, you don't owe me anything more than what you want to b-but I...I don't...

[His slitted eyes shift nervously, and his tongue flicks out again. This time it's nerves.]

I-if you can't trust me with my own reactions, when I've always trusted you with yours, and tried my best to support you, then--then how can you trust me as a shade either? I can't be sorry enough for what I did, never. But...if our trust ends based on a temporary change, then it's not...good, right?

I admit...ever since October, I may have overcompensated, to make you feel safe too. I wanted to, since you're always doing things for me! So, in my own way, I might have...given you too much free reign.

It's much easier to trust someone who is more confident, and to do what they think is right. At least, that's how I feel. You've always known what you were doing, or adapted quickly to the stakes. Maybe it doesn't seem like it, but to me, it is a skill. You're already one of Her priests, and you're nearly unkillable! Why wouldn't I trust you?

[Ryou pauses, his coils shifting restlessly.]

...What made you feel that you can't tell me I have a bad idea? Is it just because I trust you more than me...?

[He needs to know where he's screwed up, so he can fix it. If it can be fixed...]

[Atem breathes. Take a breath; let it out. Stay cool, calm. Think. Listen.

Ryou's asking him a lot of questions here at once. He's not sure he can address them all...but, they'll loop back around to the important ones, right?

His snout's turning back to undead flesh. Slowly, like the shift in paint's color as it goes from wet to dry, chocolate becomes fur.]

...wait, October?

[That's unexpected...Atem thought it was January that was the problem. He shakes his head. One thing at a time.]

Ryou...it feels sometimes like you're not willing to say no to me. That, if I asked you for anything, you'd say yes...and, there was a time that was comforting! When I was hurting, and alone, and I needed someone who'd be with me, no matter what. In January...I needed that. [When it felt like no one else cared what had happened to them, and it had hurt...Ryou's closeness had eased the loneliness, the pain of his friends turning away.] But now I'm realizing that if I can't trust you to say no...then, I can't ask you for anything. It's just another kind of control over you! What if you say yes to something you don't want, and you resent me for it? What if you decide that your judgment isn't as good as mine anyway, that you should just listen to me instead of yourself, and I've completely destroyed your confidence?

[He shakes his head.]

But I'm trying to support you, too. In your plans, in your ideas...whatever you want to do, I won't try to stop you. Even if it goes wrong, I thought, I'd be there to make sure you didn't fall too hard. It just...feels like I'm keeping things from you. I can't be my whole self around you this way. I don't like that feeling...it feels dishonest!

[Eyes find Ryou.]

But, you wanted to talk about me staying out...? I want to talk about October, and what happened that made you put me first.

[Just, a list, of things they need to talk about.]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, PLAYER1. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 10.11.0.0.01 * PLAYER1 has joined 10.11.0.0.01 <PLAYER1>** If you're looking for someone you knew as Yugi before June, you've found him! It's Atem, leave a message.

<WhiteWizard>, during the Divorce Period

<Player1>

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<Player1> FAST FORWARD TO 8/4

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cw....they're candy and they're making out

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nsfw implications,

certified horny jail all around

bonk! horny jail

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ATEM STOP. HORNY JAIL.

Can't believe it's RYOU who has to say hold on

PROUD OF HIM

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having this conversation with chocolate batface

is this not the best time to have a serious conversation? whaaaat?

BAT FACE